Marie's Poem

Twenty-Four Hours to Live

I gave myself twenty-four hours to live
God and the doctors didn't tell me
And no one I loved told me today
But I did it anyway
There was this feeling of worthless inside
Something that wouldn't bear to be denied
Before I was to go I wanted to talk to you
Maybe I could show you the real me
One last time, before I went below
So my heart started to beat a little faster
And I started to sweat a little more
I picked up the phone
But the words wouldn't come
Hearing your voice begging me to speak
I was afraid, afraid of being alone
Inside I knew I had nothing to lose
I would be gone and by next week it would be old news
I spoke in a causal tone
Pouring out my heart and soul to you
Then there was a silence I'd been exposed,
I was nothing more than a worthless bone
OUt of the silence came my pleading cry
Was this all there was before good-bye
When asked to talk you told me no lie
You said I was being selfish
It would hurt you so much If I was to die
This I didn't understand
You love me more than I could ever know in this land
The seconds, minutes and hours went by I sat
motionless in my dark room
Then you asked me to promise
Promise to try
What? How could I?
The willingness to live instead of die?
You reminded me of someone I'd forgotten-God,
the one who won't forsake-God
There is nothing in me, but much in Him
Could He get me out of this web I was caught in?
Facing the truth is hard, but comforting God would be there,
even through the pain I was taking
The wind and the rain I heard outside
It felt like a cool shower on my soul
And your love seemed like a warm blanket
In the serene darkness, I knelt by my bedside
There I began to pray I felt a peace like a calm bay
My time had ran out And I was still alive,
Thankfully But I had so much more to think about
Would I be alive If not for you telling me to thrive?
I wonder, Probably not, I think
But God still would've been there
If not for you I may not had realized that and went under
I ca not change myself I must tak God off His shelf
With His help, I will change
You'll see You'll be proud of me
I need your help, too,
help me to turn the page
Stand beside me
To catch me when I fall
so that one day I'll walk free
It's been twenty-four hours
I feel something new
It's love A love that could reach the highest towers
It's your love It's God's love
So I want to thank you You see,
for everything you've given me
But please help me
Don't leave me alone,
and I'll be there for you, too


By Marie Castle
rie714@hotmail.com