Theme Song: "I have the touch" by Heather Nova
Belladonna is the House of Usher's landlady, a job she heartily enjoys- especially when encased in the latest kevlar evening dress. She is quite magically gifted, both in terms of her spell-casting powers and her large rack. Turn-ons include 17th Century composers and minnestrone soup. Turn-offs include anyone who likes long walks on beaches- it's just impractical, that much sand in your shoes.
Theme Song: "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun" by Julie Brown
Coffee's past is shrouded in mystery, but no doubt it involves the CIA and a mysterious woman who has lipstick that's actually a laser. Currently, he resides at the House and works as a lecturer in psychology at the local university. Turn-ons includes his Eight-Grade German teacher and Famke Janssen covered in honey. Turn-offs include wimples and anyone out to de-honey his Famke.
Theme Song: "Louie Louie" by Chuck Berry, as years of bartending have allowed him to learn DrunkSpeak, and he can actually understand the lyrics.
Duchess is the tall bartender at O'Neill's, and master of the Volcanic Nipples, which may or may not be a drink (most people are reluctant to order one in case it is not). Turn-ons include foot-rubs and amusing road signs, turn-offs include falling from high places and girls who fold their underwear. In fact, girls who wear underwear are pushing it.
Theme Song: "The 9-Hour Version of Mary Had a Little Lamb" by Thelonius Monk.
Neal is a jazz musician. Despite this, there are confirmed sightings of him awake before noon. He aspires to become a jazz great, but feels he will need a spiffier beret. He may or may not be attractad to Ninara, much in the way that a large, sharp metal spike may or may not be attracted to magnetic trousers. Turn-ons include oxygen, as he is 20. Turn-offs include alien probing and marmalade, especially if combined.
Theme Song: "Sexual Revolution" by Macy Gray
How do you solve a problem like Ninara? That was the question posed by nine nuns one frosty winter's morning, after they discovered her frolicking naked in the hills, wearing only a wimple. The ten-year-old Ninara became the first person EVER to be issued a restraining order by the Catholic Church. Currently working as a dominatrix and residing in the House, Ninara still enjoys the odd spot of naked-wimple-frolicking. Turn-ons include bondage, tying people up, restraint, and other words for bondage. Turn-offs include uptight nuns.
Theme Song: "Dangerous Type" by Letters to Cleo
Lena, little sister of Ninara's previous flate-mate Lean-Dara, lived the typical life of a 19-year-old university student- constant poverty and panic of failure. However, since moving into the House, Lena's found there are worse things than failing, such as Ninara. Despite her worries, Lena is upbeat and positive, even in the face of Coffee. Turn-ons include fuzzy pyjamas and dying her hair, turn-offs include creepy basements and disembodied serial killers.
Theme Song: "Whack It Off" by Famous in Vegas (she misunderstood the connotations of "Whack").
Very little is known about Liz, except that she was a former assassin for the New Zealand Mafia. She seems to be cute and cuddly and always happy, a sure sign of a twisted and devious mind.