Jadarin: On to the next part. Sonjia: Of that Ronin Warriors fic? Jadarin: WHAT is your rush to get back to that? Sonjia: We still have parts of it to do! And with the sudden rush of Anime fics, they haven't been getting done. Jadarin: Well, here's the latest one! Sonjia: Great. You said "next part", so are we getting Anime Yuy III? Jadarin: Nope. It's the next part to Keeper of... Tim? (rereads that) Sonjia: Are we shocked she can't spell? Jadarin: Too bad it's only spelled like that in the link. Sonjia: It's amazing. She got the next part of a fic up within a week. Jadarin: Maybe she's starting to increase output. Sonjia: Heaven help us. Patches: You rang? Both: NOT YOU! Patches: Hey, hey, this is gonna be another three-person deal, got it? Jadarin: (solemnly) Yes'm. Sonjia: NO! I REFUSE to allow her continuous interference with the fantasy world! Patches: What do you think YOU'RE doing, then? Sonjia: I didn't start it! (points) HE did! Jadarin: Sure. Blame the Mazoku. Patches: (waves) Anyway, anyway, let's get on with this. I'm sure this'll be another hypocritical romp through Anime-land. Jadarin: Actually, she's named "Kevin" now, and is a guy. Patches: o_O That girl never ceases to frighten me... Keeper of Time by Kevin (Yup that's me!) Patches: It would be funny if he was someone else. Sonjia: The writing style of this thing is Anime's, without a doubt. Jadarin: It would be scary if there really was someone else out there who wrote just like her... All: (scream) A still half blind Kevin made his ways down the halls trying not to bump into every thing he came across tried to find his way out of the castle. Patches: Because everything he came across tried to get out of the castle, too! Jadarin: The castle will explode in 10 minutes! He had thanked the nurses and then used a spell to suppress the memory of him being there Sonjia: That's a sneaky way to get out of paying his medical bill. he couldn’t let him self be known. He wore a gray sweaty sleeveless shirt Jadarin (Kevin): Don't mind me. I'm just a construction worker. Sonjia: Darn B.O. with his belt of potions holding up the baggy bloodied pants he wore. Patches: A guy with blood on his clothes is always inconspicuous! His leg was bandaged up and he was still not steady on it but he did his best to make his way out and to the garden where he couldn’t be seen until he could see again. Sonjia (Kevin): (kiddy) If I can't see you, you can't see me! (covers eyes) He kept washing his eyes out every 10 minutes like he was told Patches: By whom, we're never sure. Jadarin: Probably that one guy. You know, the one who never had a name. Sonjia: That's specific. and soon his eyes were back to normal he could see clearly again, Jadarin: (Batty) I'm BLIND! ... I can SEE, it's a MIRACLE! but he was still weak. With as much energy as he could muster he teleported himself to the gates of time. Sonjia (Kevin): Damn... this gate is locked from the INSIDE. No one was there no one knew where it was any more the only entrance hidden and changed every day now. Patches: Must make it really annoying when he invites friends over. Jadarin: Darn it... shoud've taken that right at Albequerque. Kev checked the time line out everything seemed fine but the future in 100 years looked shaky. Sonjia: By then, everyone would have had WAY too much caffeine. He couldn’t do anything bout them now he needed time to heal and with that he stumbled to his room and fell asleep. Patches: He'd have one heck of a hangover in the morning. Kev awoke about 2 weeks later in much better shape Sonjia: That fast-acting "diet while you sleep" plan really works! Jadarin: But now he only has 99 years and 50 weeks to fix the future! Sonjia: Better hurry. For our sake. he got up slowly and looked around every thing was the same minuses a few things here and there Sonjia: Darn thieves. Patches: (Locke) TREASURE HUNTERS! that he stumbled and pushed out of his way to the bed. Forgetting that the princess now knew about his meetings with his old friend’s grave he silently left to visit it again. Jadarin: Selective omniscience works its wonders again. Sonjia: So the princess's birthday is every two weeks? She said he always visited it on her birthday. Patches: If she's the princess of Pluto, you'd expect her birthday to be every 248 years. This time he was alert now but he was also not alone when he got there. Jadarin: Curse those groundskeepers. He wiped the snow off the Gravestone and silently read it over in his mind. Sonjia: "Here lies Nick. He fell through a plot hole." Patches: "I came, I saw, I died." Jadarin: "I told them I was sick, but would they believe me? Nooooo." ‘Here lies Nickolas Muscovite A great man, and an even greater friend, His life taken ruthlessly and wrongfully, Jadarin: Unexplainably... Sonjia: Anticlimactically... Patches: And uselessly. here he lies in peace for eternity.’ Jadarin: As the bulldozer waited in the shadows. "I know you’ve forgiven me Nick you know that I would do the same thing for you if I had to. Patches: Forgive him for what? Sonjia: Probably for giving him such a sucky death scene. Jadarin: Or lack thereof. I’m glad that you’re at least at peace and if not soon I will be sure to get rid of them..." He said softly. Patches: (whispers) I think he's plotting against us... He smiled knowing that they would get it and he would be the one that killed them for all of this. Patches: Who are these people again? Both: (shrug) The Princess had been watching she suspected he would come back and now he was back. Sonjia: Ha! She won the bet! Jadarin: Is this going to have more gambling of children in it? She smiled seeing his smile as it was the first time she had seen him smile ever. Jadarin: And here I thought he was supposed to be "goofy". Patches: Anime dost not writeth the humor. WE writeth the humor. Sonjia: ... Whatever. It was also the first time in a long time that he had smiled in a long time as well. Sonjia: (snaps) Department of Redundancy Department. Over here, now. He heard some one moving and dived into a giant snow pile to his right and the only thing that was seen was his boots and his spiky blond hair. Jadarin: I thought he had "ash" hair before. Patches: Spiky blonde hair... EEEEEWW! He's Cloud! Jadarin: He's a Super Saiya-jin! Sonjia: He's Vash! Jadarin: THIS ISN'T TRIGUN! The princess giggled seeing only his boot s and blond hair sticking up from the snow as he tried to hide. Sonjia: What's his "S"? Is that slang for something? Jadarin: I can make it that way. Patches: Hey, hey, none of that. He stuck his head up out of the snow and caught a glimpse of the peeking princess, he didn’t know weather to sweat drop or to blush at his idiocy. Jadarin: At least he admits he's an idiot. He did a little of both as he pulled himself out of the snow pile. Patches (Kevin): I was in the road and the snow plow ran me over! The nerve! "You know you shouldn’t be out here it’s cold." He said brushing the snow off him self. Sonjia: On Pluto, you'd think they'd be used to that by now. Patches (princess): Cold? Ha, it's only -200 degrees! It's spring-like weather! "I’m in warm enough clothes." She said steeping out into the open. Jadarin: And let's hope she is making this point because she is wearing them. He took off his cloak and placed it over her shoulders before she could say a thing. "Take it and go inside Princess." Jadarin: Hey, he wants to go inside Princess! Girls: (THWAP!) "Can’t you call me by my name?" All: She has one?! "I’m a knight, I am to call you princess." Sonjia (princess): Call me "princess"! Jadarin: (Carrot) Princess princess princess princess princess princess princess! "Please call me Setsuna." All: SHE HAS A NAME!! Patches: And moreover... All: SHE'S A REAL CHARACTER!! "I can not princess." "Then I order you to call me Setsuna." She said. Jadarin (Kevin): And I order you to call me Cheese Log! He looked caught and befuddled, she smiled having found that he is loyal and obedient to the royal family. Patches: In the present tense even. Sonjia: I wonder if that means he wasn't before. "How do you people know me with out knowing me?" He said shocked. Sonjia: When we've read this many of your fics, you start getting predictable. "All knights swear their allegiants to the royal family Jadarin: Wow, I want to swear at the allegiant to! Patches: What a faithful little word it is, even when it's getting sworn at. even if it wasn’t from the recent one they find themselves loyal to the end." Sonjia: So, can we wrap this up quick? "Damn..." Jadarin: That's one way to end... "So who are you really?" Patches (Kevin): The author in a rubber mask. Jadarin (same): I'm also a girl. "Kevin Pluto Knight, I thought I told you that." Patches: What a fascinating name. Sonjia: Told ya his last name was a misspelling of the Japanization of "knight". Jadarin: How convenient that his middle name happened to be Pluto, too. "They told me there was no such person." Sonjia: Kinda like how they tell you there's no monster under your bed. "I’m here now aren’t I?" Patches (Setsuna): That's why I said that there WAS no such person. "Was" does not include "now". "True... what are you doing?" She asked as he stood by the Rose bush. Jadarin (Kevin): Picking magic roses. Prick your finger on this so you'll sleep for the next hundred years and leave me alone. "Shhhhh." The snow fell off a dead rose bud and he held his hands close around it and then he slowly opened them again to reveal the now partly bloomed blue green rose. Sonjia: Which promptly froze and died in the near-absolute zero Plutonian atmosphere. He carefully cut it off and then out of the snow he pulled a small ice vase with water and placed the rose inside. Jadarin (Kevin): Let this ferment, and you'll get yourself some killer booze. "I should last about 14 years." He said handing it to her. Patches: And the rose would bloom until her twenty-first year. If she learned to love another, and earned his love in return, then, the spell would be broken. If not, she would be doomed to remain a minor character for all time. She turned a bright red color taking it, as soon as she had it he vanished into thin air. Jadarin (Kevin): Sucker! Setsuna looked around but he was obviously gone. Sonjia: This is what happens when someone vanishes, I believe. Jadarin: Isn't it obvious? "WHO GOES THERE?" Kev bellowed transforming into the knight of Pluto. Sonjia: Setsuna, DUH. Jadarin: The guy is having some serious problems with memory lapses. Someone had entered the gates of time. With out his permission and he had to go to defend it. Sonjia: Woo hoo! More nameless baddies! Jadarin: It's probably just some lost dog. "It’s been too long Knight." A Snake like voice said. Jadarin: Nah, a snake-like voice would say "It'sssssssss been too long." Patches: Sounds like Woodie from Issei's Hellstorm fics. Both: WOODIE! He turned to face the snake creature that he knew all to well. Sonjia: He knew everything... but its NAME! Jadarin: I'll be surprised if it gets one. They had fought many times and she had lost every time but something stopped him from killing her every time. This time he wouldn’t let it. Patches: Because who needs guilt? "I could say the same Venous, you here to finish out battle once and for all?" He asked. All: SHE HAS A NAME! Jadarin: Okay, I'm surprised. Patches: Her name means "having veins". I'm threatened. Sonjia: I guess she bleeds good. "Yes and once I’m done with you this time I will tell you exactly who sent me after you all these times." She said Patches: Not exactly the most intelligent thing to do. Sonjia: I'll bet it's Issei. She was a tall snake like woman with shot silver hair Jadarin: Cool! She shoots her hair! and solid black eyes she wore a silver cape no clothes as she was Reptilian Sonjia: I guess a cape doesn't constitute as clothing. and a belt with a sword on it that she drew into her green hand. Patches: I guess a belt isn't clothing, either. Jadarin: Man, she's gonna whip him with her belt! Ouch! "Bring it on." Kev said. Patches: Quoth any character in DBZ. She ran at him with amazing speed Sonjia: Remind me again exactly how a snake "runs". and then there was a clank of swords. All: "Clank"? Patches: Not exactly the most stirring of sound-effects. Jadarin: They fought like a metal chain lazily blowing against a post! Kev blocked her attack with ease. "So tell me why you went bad?" He asked pushing her away. Sonjia: Probably liked the anonymity. Jadarin: The pay is better. "I’ve all ways been bad." She said. She stumbled back but came at him again their swords clanged against each other’s, Jadarin: Now they're battling like the tolling of the church bell! Patches: How riveting. Sonjia: Maybe it's building action. the pulled away and they clanged again. Jadarin: That sounded kinda dirty. Girls: Shut up. She swiped at him missing the knight by millimeters. Jadarin: THAT'S why evil is better. They've converted to metric. Girls: (awed) Oooooooh. "Stay still so I can properly kill you Knight!" She said. Sonjia: Like he's gonna say "Okay!" and do what she says. Jadarin: It is Anime. More idiotic things have happened. "No way Venous! I’m not going to go down that easily." He said. Sonjia: Then maybe he'll go up. In flames. He was serious while he fought never once taking his eyes off her. Jadarin: (singing) Every step you take, every move you make, I'll be watching youuu... "Now you going to tell me who sent you?" He said having his blade to her throat suddenly. She growled and suddenly kicked him in the gut hard sending him crashing into the door. Sonjia: Remind me again how a snake "kicks". Patches: I'm more wondering what some random door is doing at the Gates of Time. He rubbed his head and knocked away her sword that stick into the wall. Jadarin: He beat her with a stick! No fair! "Looks like you have a bit of a dilemma Venous." He said slowly standing up. Sonjia (Kevin): You've been running and kicking, but as a snake, I'm afraid you have no legs. She punched him hard in the jaw and he went into the blade of the sword. The wound was not deep but Venous being the snake woman had it covered with a slow acting poison. Patches: Most snake venom is actually pretty fast-acting. Sonjia: I kinda hope this doesn't kill him, since it's a really stupid way to die. Jadarin: But if he does die, I won't complain. She smirked as Kev pulled his arm off the blade. Sonjia: Darn those detaching limbs. "Looks like you’re in trouble now little man. Before this battle ends you’ll be dead one way or another." Venous said as she laughed pulling the sword from the door. Patches: So... if he dies BEFORE the battle ends, who does she fight to end it? Sonjia: Probably yet another random person with no name. "Not if I can help it." He said grabbing at his belt, but the bottle was gone. Jadarin (Kevin): Drat. And I needed a good drink. "Damn... I forgot I used that..." He said. He ducked as her sword buzzed over his head, Patches: More strange sound-effects. Jadarin: Her sword's gonna sting him! several blond hairs fell. "AHHH! I DIDN’T ASK FOR A HAIRCUT!" He said watching it fall. Patches: Being over a thousand years old, you'd think he'd lose a bit of his hair by now. He knocked her feet from under her causing her to fall. Sonjia: There's those mysterious feet again. She flipped up onto her feet and both slashed at each other at the same time. Patches: How exciting! Like the end of Cowboy Bebop! Both: (yawn) "To bad you’ll die this time Knight, it was so much fun fighting you all these times." She said. She swiped at him and he jumped over her sword. Sonjia: And did a couple of backflips, for good measure. Jadarin (Venous): You must suspect me to attack with Capo Ferro? Patches (Kevin): Naturally. But I find that Tibal cancels out Capo Ferro. Don't you? Jadarin (Venous): Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa! (jump) Which I have! "I will not die with out a good fight." He said. Sonjia (Kevin): And since this one is pretty sucky, you can rest assured that I will not die today. The poison was starting to effect him and he knew it. Patches: Because he could no longer spell "affect". He felt slow and clumsy though his actions were fast and smooth. Jadarin: When I have gas, I may look like this, but I feel like THIS. With one swift motion he was able to pull his robe off All: (cover eyes) keeping the chain mail and the few potions on his belt. He wore a sweaty gray sleeveless shirt and baggy black pants and black boots. Jadarin: And a hard hat and goggles, to complete the ensemble. "Getting tired is the poison effecting you yet Knight?" She asked. Sonjia: Poor poison. He's wearing it out. Patches: The snake lady can't spell "affect", either. She came down hard on his shoulder cutting threw the thin chain mail. "That’s not going to protect you boy." She said with a laugh. Patches: There goes his arm again. Jadarin (Kevin): (British) Tis only a flesh wound! He pushed it off his shoulder bleeding his shit hung on just barely by his other shoulder. All: WHAT?! Sonjia: What exactly is... that... doing on his shoulder, anyway? Jadarin: And why is it bleeding? "What just cause you don’t wear clothes means I shouldn’t wear any?" He said. Jadarin (Kevin): I wear fecal matter instead! Ha! Patches: So... he's naked and covered in poo? Sonjia: My hero. "Shut up and fight!" She said as she struck at him. "While I’m down on my luck here why don’t you tell me who sent you?" He asked blocking her attack. Patches: He really is down on his luck. Covered in filth and not a scrap of clothing on him. She laughed at him. Both his right and left arms were bloody Sonjia: And... I guess whatever other arms he has are just fine! the poison of her blade was starting to run it’s course and there was no way he would survive this battle unless he remembered where the rest was stored in his room. Patches: But... then he remembered. Sonjia: And it was all okay. Jadarin: How exactly does remembering where you keep your poison help you? But his chances were slim as he was more cut up then she was. He managed to scratch her here and there but nothing to serious like she had done to him. Jadarin: (Miguel from Ruin Explorers) He didn't scratch me did he? He spun avoiding her attack and instead lost his shirt his strong muscular upper body was exposed and so were his scars from battles of long ago. Sonjia: Bet he's not as scarred as Vash. Jadarin: If he has a metal arm, I'd start to wonder. some from previous battles with her. "You bare many scars knight but soon no more shall become of that pretty body of yours but my last wound!" She said. Patches: That would have been an impressive threat if it meant anything in English. He slashed her right arm severely. "Watch what I’m doing not what you are doing." He said. Sonjia: Unfortunately, we're watching what you're both doing. "Now talk who sent you all those times?" He asked. She was shocked, it came to her that she might not live threw the battle ether. Jadarin: Translation: She wouldn't live to throw the battle ether? Patches: Must be more of her "poison". "I’ll tell you with our dying breath." She said. Sonjia: Not much good it does anyone if they both die. He jumped up and round housed her knocking her to the ground. He fell to the ground as well as he couldn’t keep his balance. Patches: Don't try a stunt if you can't do it right! Jadarin (Kevin): (lands in a splits) Owie... "Tell me Venous I’m dying here as well." He said he now held her sword as well. Sonjia (Kevin): And I'm dying to know, actually. He stood and pointed both at her throat he knew he would kill her this time. Patches: Hey, it's like "Hook"! Jadarin: Now he's gonna be sporting and give the sword back, and she'll cut him. "The king of Pluto sent me!" She said as he stood over him. All: AAAAHHHHH!! Sonjia: More spontaneous gender changes! He looked like she had repeatedly punched him in the gut. Jadarin: Given the nature of this battle, I wouldn't be surprised if she did. "I do not lie! He wanted to get rid of you because a witch told him that you would steal her from him." She said. Patches: Kevin must have a thing for kidnapping witches. Sonjia: (Dorothy) I beg your pardon. But I've never heard of a beautiful witch before. His hands trembled as he dropped her sword next to her head. "If the King wishes me dead then I shale die here where I was sent to guard by the honorable first king of Pluto." He said. Patches: Shale. He's developed a Southern accent, y'all. Jadarin: Either that, or he likes rocks. He stumbled back towards the door and slumped against it his blood streaking against the door it’s self. Jadarin: (Darien) How could I have been so stupid?! Sonjia: You want the short list or the long? She was shocked he was giving up just like that. "You would rather the king win and die, then live and tell all?" She said slowly standing up. Sonjia: Let me get this straight. If the king wins, he dies. Then lives and tells everyone about it? Patches: Hey, I'm not the one writing it. He nodded slowly as he placed his sword on the ground. Jadarin: Looks like he wants to go along with the screwy logic. Sonjia: Aspriiiiinnnn... "In order for him to win you must win, you must live as well. Sonjia: (Vash) I want to save them both! Patches: I guess that kind of logic only works in Trigun. And only on occasion. It’s OK go I’m dying anyways." He said. She blinked her eyes filling with tears he was being so brave when he could live and get his revenge. Jadarin (Venous): But since you're dying... can I have your computer? "No I can’t let you die your innocence in your self!" She said. Sonjia (Venous): Although you have no chance to survive make your time! "Venous Please I know you might feel sorry for me but I live to honor my family and the king if he wishes me to die then I shale do so. Jadarin: What is it with him and that rock? Sonjia: What family does he have, anyway? Other than his dad, who got killed by some nameless guy in the beginning. It’s too late the only cure for me is locked away in my room." He said Patches: Although you'd kinda think that the bearer of the poison has the cure as well. he spit blood to his right and then he looked at her. "I hope he’ll bring you back to good Venous back to your formal self." Jadarin (Kevin): He'll teach you to eat with utensils, and how to work in buisness groups. His eyes were glazing over slowly. "Where is the key to your room Kevin?" She said slowly walking over to him. Patches (Kevin): I think I locked it in my car again. He didn’t answer as he started to cry. She reached into his pants Sonjia: HENTAI! pocket Sonjia: Oh. Jadarin: Don't jump to conclusions so fast! and pulled out a small silver key. Patches: That's the key to his luggage, silly. "I’m going to save you I can’t let you die now. I know you can help me as well please hold on Kevin." She said. Jadarin (Kev): To what? (falls off a cliff) She ran over to the white almost invisible door and unlocked it going inside. Patches: What exactly is a house doing there, anyway? Sonjia: He must live in the guard shack or something. Jadarin (Kevin): Passing through the Gates of Time? Toll, please. The place was full of potions bottles things for making potions. Sonjia: She therefore ransacked the place and made a killing on the black market. She found it the other small bottle that contained the same potion as he had before she also grabbed the eye drops he used too. Jadarin: (Ben Stein) Clear Eyes even has an ingredient to moisturize. Wow. Sonjia: USED! She said "USED"! All: (faint) She walked out of the room and over to him. She tilted his head back that startled him. Patches: Poor man. Always getting frightened by his own head. Sonjia: Must have a heart attack every time he looks in the mirror. "It’s OK I’m going to help you." She said. "Don’t, I’m suppose to die." He said. Sonjia: Oh, stuff it. You're a sucky martyr, anyway. She opened his mouth and poured it down his throat. He gagged and tried to spit it up but it was to late. "Why?" Patches: Why not? Jadarin: It's not like an Anime avatar would actually die. "You deserve it Kevin. I want you to do, what is meant to be done, on her 18th birthday you are to give her the transformation pen she needs to become the Pluto senshi and help take your place. Sonjia: Wow, looks like just about everyone gets to be omniscient today. Jadarin: So what's with the trasformation "pen"? I didn't know Setsuna got Usagi's disguise power. You will fight the battles still but she will become the second guardian of the door." She said. Patches: Oh, so it's a "door" now? Jadarin: She'll be there to guard that mysterious door to his house. She put the drops into his eyes to help clear them up again. He blinked as he started to see again, her face was no longer serpent like it was human the scales slowly vanished revealing real flesh. Sonjia: Since scales are fake skin, ya know. Jadarin: Hey, they shed every once in a while. "Venous... your face... your changing back." He said. Jadarin (Kevin): Your body... you're still naked, remember. Sonjia (Venous): HENTAI! She touched a scaly hand to her soft human face and gasped in surprise. Her soft light green eyes became normal her hair turned it’s once reddish color Patches: Uh oh. More red hair. Sonjia: She's getting the hourglass figure back! her skin was a pail color as if lacked sun light for a long time. Jadarin: I wonder what color that would be. Sonjia: Probably some bright primary color. Kev passed out from exhaustion finally, Venous smiled and let him sleep. She changed back to a full human slowly and she took some of Kevin’s clothes, as she had none of her own. Patches: You know, if he got his shirt shredded, the only clothes he has left are his pants. Sonjia: What a little pervert. She tended to him while he slept she had dragged him into his room and placed him on his bed and tended to his wounds as he couldn’t himself. Jadarin: Darn selective omnipotence. Sonjia: So whatever happened to his awesome magic powers? Patches: They must be selective as well. She cleaned up the mess of a room as if to keep her self occupied, Jadarin: It was covered in the fecal matter he often wore. whole Kev was out cold, Patches: As opposed to only part of him. Sonjia (Kevin): My foot is asleep! she also guarded the gates incase any one tried to enter them. Jadarin: It's amazing how villians can turn good for no particular reason whatsoever. Sonjia: She just didn't want him making a spectacle of himself. It was about 3 weeks later that he finally came to, his head was throbbing and he felt sick as he hadn’t eaten in almost a month and he was still weak. Patches: Antidotes sure don't work the way they used to. "My head ugg I feel sick." He muttered. He opened his eyes and came face to face with a human Venous wearing his clothes. "Who are you?" Sonjia (Venous): A random person wearing your clothes. Jadarin (same): I'm going to eat you now. "Venous but I guess you can call me Angela again." She said. Sonjia: Wow, she gets two names. Jadarin: Even though the new one is pretty boring, it's better than "having veins". Patches: Anime, thy creativity in names stinnketh. "Oh I see your back to normal." He said almost drunk like. "Got any food?" Jadarin: Figures. The cure for anything is a good bottle of brandy. "Plenty, I thought you might be hungry when you woke up." She told him. She brought over a tray full off food all for him. He took one look and was immediately devouring everything in sight. Jadarin: Including her. Patches (Kevin): Drat, did I eat my houseguest again? "KEV! Don’t eat the FORK!" She yelled, as he seemed to be chewing on it. Sonjia: Kinda hard to eat with one when you don't bite it. "Oh... so that’s why it’s so hard!" He said pulling it out of his mouth. He started to dive into the food again. Patches: Sounds like Scrooge McDuck and his money bin. Jadarin: Swimming in spaghetti! "This is soooo good!" He said. She laughed and watched the plates clear off. "Ah now that was a meal." He said as he fell back onto the bed stuffed. Sonjia (Angela): Now, here's your bill. "Glad you liked it." She told him. "So how dose it feel?" Patches: Aw, drat. Back to giving doses. "How dose what feel?" "To be human again." Jadarin: (singing) When we're human again, only human again! When we're knicknacks and whatnots no more! "It’s a bit odd but it feels great... even better if your clothes fit me." "I can fix that!" Sonjia: Oop, looks like he's regained his omnipotence. Jadarin: Now that there's a time when there's no reason to use it, he's got it. "You should save your strength your still not back to perfect health yet Kev." "Mend." The clothes she was wearing suddenly started to mend it’s self to he body shape. Patches: The awesome powers of "Insta-Tailor". "You really didn’t need to do that now your loss one shirt and a pair of pants." "I know that’s OK." Sonjia (Kevin): I can just magic them out of nowhere, anyway. "You sure?" "Yup I’m going back to sleep." Jadarin: To make this story much more exciting, no doubt! "But you just woke up!" "I know I’ll be up again and really moving in about 3 days." Patches (Kevin): This time, I was just faking it. "Three days!? I Think not Kev you will be up and moving in 3 hours!" She yelled she was only responded with loud snores. "It figures..." she said with a sigh. Sonjia (Angela): He doesn't use those Breathe Right nasal strips. She turned and cleaned up the mess and then cleaned up the room. Sonjia: If he hasn't been up, who keeps making a mess? Jadarin: I bet she's been throwing mad parties while he's out cold. It was a never-ending mess so it seemed, every time she turned around it seemed something else was a mess, and he wasn’t even awake! Sonjia: Wow, even Anime doesn't know! Patches: It's like the case of the missing socks... She wondered how he even lived there. Kev awoke 2 days later and once again stuffed his face till he was full and then he looked at the date. Jadarin: It had been eaten by a squirrel. It was almost the end of the month. ‘October on Earth is a beautiful time.’ He thought to himself as he looked over the time line on each planet. Patches: I bet he's preparing for Halloween. Sonjia (Angela): I'll go as a snake! Things seemed stable for now. "Kev... when is your birthday?" Venous asked him. Jadarin: Wow, she's reverted. Sonjia: Preparing early, I guess. "What’s today? "You know the answer already." Patches: That's actually one of the harder questions you could ask someone. Sonjia: So, his omniscience returns as well! How conveeeeeeenient. "OK it’s the 26th witch means my birthday is in 2 days." Jadarin: Something tells me that this is also Anime's birthday. Patches: It's also Bill Gates's birthday. Sonjia: And Mother-in-Law's day, if it falls on a Sunday. "And how old you going to be?" "Now there’s a good question. How old am I going to be?" Sonjia: Why are you asking us? Jadarin: I'll make a guess this time. Umm... one thousand, four hundred and thirty-three. "Have you lost count?" "NO! I’ll be 1036 years old." Patches: You lose. Jadarin: That was my second guess. Sonjia: Whatever. "Now there’s a lot of candles to blow out." "Don’t remind me that’s like a small forest fire." "Yeah some day it will be a huge one." Sonjia: He's going to be 1? Patches: Does this mean he's going to be reborn? All: NOOOOO! "But who remembers? Jadarin: You do, apparently. It would have been so easy for you to kill me and no one would have ever known. I don’t remember the last time someone even recognized me." Sonjia: Oh, stop having your little pity party, sissy. She fwapped him. "Ow!" Jadarin: I wanna do that, too! All: (line up, ala "Airplane!") "Baka, your the Knight of Pluto it was your duty to be alone not dreary so cheer up!" Sonjia: I thought his duty was to defend the Gates. Jadarin: Maybe it was Bill Gates. Patches: They share a birthday. "Why did you have to hit me so hard?" "To try and knock some sense into you." Patches: Didn't work. Jadarin: Hit him harder. "Well it hurt!" "Good live and learn Kev, you don’t know everything and don’t act like you do." All: PLEASE. Sonjia: Anime's finally talking sense to herself. Jadarin: With a statement like that, she's gonna say something really stupid in a moment, isn't she? "I know I don’t because every day you learn something new. That’s fact not fiction." Patches: Meaning that, one of these days, she's gotta learn how to write. "Good now when is her birthday?" Sonjia: Whose? Patches: Mine? I'm not telling. "Believe it or not it’s the day after mine." Patches: October 29th, huh? Lemmie check that... Whaddaya know, she did her homework! Setsuna's birthday IS in fact October 29th. Sonjia: She never said he was talking about Setsuna. Maybe that witch from earlier. Jadarin: That was the same day Sir Walter Raleigh was executed. Patches: And was "Black Tuesday", the beginning of the Great Depression. "Wow you have the Heshin device?" Patches: Wow, it's a "device" now? Not a "pen"? Jadarin: I always thought they were "wands". Sonjia: And "Henshin", at that. "Huh what? Oh that yeah I do it’s over there." He said motioning over to the dresser top where a small gold box rested. "Once She heshins it will be final he can not take it from her..." He said. Sonjia: How does one do that, I wonder? Patches: The closest thing I can find is "does not push". "Will you still live here?" "Yup I have no other place to go my powers can over ride hers because I am the first. All: Naturally. Sonjia: You'd think they'd get progressively more powerful. And if a battle comes along she wont see it because she will live along the gates them selves and I will be sure she sees very few battles until it’s time..." He said. Jadarin: So, will she not see any battles, or not for a while? Sonjia: Probably never. He'll be sure to star in them all. "I wish I could be like that." "You could but living so long..." Patches: I wish I could make English make no sense like that. Sonjia: It's not that hard. Jadarin: Once happened the muffin mix of somewhere. "It’s more like a curse then a gift sometimes you don’t want to be like me." Sonjia: Sometimes you just don't want to be an insert. Jadarin: But they get really ridiculous amounts of power. Sonjia: We got shafted. Patches: (grins) "Kev... Will I be reborn some day?" "Yes we all are eventually... With the exception of a few ancients..." He said. Patches: They were smoking some stuff that sent their spirits weird places. "Like you?" "Like me, and soon Setsuna...." Jadarin: I thought that Coronus said in the first part that he'd be reborn once. Sonjia: Oh well. "I see..." "Why you ask?" Patches: While we're on the subject of questions, I have some, too! (pulls out a whole roll of ticker tape) "I want to know if after this life when I’m reborn... If we could meet again and be like this again not enemies but friends." Jadarin: It's not like people tend to remember past lives. Patches: I'm under the distinct impression that Anime was a hypocrite in a past life. Sonjia: And she's not now? "Hai I will look for you in your next life Venous but you have a long life here now." Sonjia: So much for calling her "Angela". "Where do I go from here Kev? I mean I can’t stay here in your place forever." Jadarin (Kevin): I think there's an apartment for rent somewhere on one of Jupiter's moons. "Once the doors reach Earth I’ll take you to there, where you can live in peace with out worry." Patches: Just what Earth needs. Another wacko. Jadarin (Kevin): I'll send you to find this 6-foor red-head named Anime. Live with her. "Will you visit me?" "Hai if you wish." Sonjia (Venous): I don't. I was asking out of morbid curiosity. Like, "You're not going to visit, are you?" "Thank you, I just hope I can meet someone as sweet as you on Earth." Jadarin: The Gingerbread Man is probably somewhere around. "You will." "You promise me?" "Promise you what?" Patches: (Tifa) That... if I ever become famous... you'll help me out... "That I’ll meet someone just like you and you’ll come visit?" "There’s only one of me All: Thank god. but I will visit." "True... Kev I just hope one day you can be happy too." Sonjia: Hopefully, in a better place, outside of this fic. Jadarin: Give him chocolate. "Me too..." With that Kev dosed off again. Patches: Get rid of the drugs already! Two days later when the doors had appeared on Neptune, it was Kevin’s birthday and Venous had made him a cake with only 19 candles. "In memory that you only look 19." She had told him. Jadarin: Considering how easy it is to pinpoint someone's age by looks alone. Patches: I mistook the 40 year-old Japanese professor for one of the students. He laughed and blew out the candles and both of them devoured the whole cake. The next day Kev was up early placing the 3 silver keys to the gates of time onto the small gold box Sonjia: Wow, he even made copies of the key to give to his friends. and then wrapping it with a greenish blue wrapping paper very carefully. He pulled out the rest of the wrapping paper and then cut out what seemed to be a dress Jadarin: He's making paper dolls now? Patches: What exactly is going on here, anyway? and with his magic he made it into an actual dress meant for Venous. He only hopped it would fit her Sonjia (Venous): It fits! Jadarin (Kevin): Boingy boingy boingy! as tonight they had invitations to the princess birthday party. Patches: If the king hates his guts so much, why invite him? His hair was now much longer and he left it down and he made it seem lighter then it originally was and he made his eyes become more of a violet color so it was hard to recognize him. Jadarin: He must've gotten a hold of the "transformation pen" from earlier. "AH! Who are you!?" Venous said seeing him. Sonjia (Kev): The great Mazoku Lord Spam Man. "It’s OK it’s just me." Kev said with that big goofy grin of his. Patches: That mysterious goofiness again. Jadarin: It's Anime's way of making her characters have personality. Sonjia: She just SAYS they have personality. They never have to exhibit it, though. "I can’t be recognized by any one so I adjusted my looks for tonight." Jadarin: If he can't be recognized, why bother? Sonjia: You'd think he'd adjust his looks SO he can't be recognized. "Oh jeez you scared me that way." She said She noticed the white Box he had under his arm. "What’s that that you got there?" She asked looking at the box. Patches: The rest of those drugs, probably. "This is for you I hope it fit’s..." He said handing it to her. She looked at him questioningly as she took it and opened it. Sonjia (Venous): Wow, this box is just my size! On top of the dress were 2 invitations to the party. "I hope you like parties." "We’re going tonight?" She said looking at the tickets, Jadarin: You need tickets to a party? Patches: Who'd go to a party if you have to pay? and then she noticed the silky green dress. "Oh my I guess we are." She said Shocked handing the invitations to him and pulling the long green blue dress out. Sonjia: What great invitations! They come complete with suggested attire! "I have to try this on now. You do plan on helping me with my hair and nails and makeup so I look decent right?" She asked walking into the small bathroom. Jadarin: I'm sure he knows all about that stuff. Patches: I sure don't. "I guess I have to." He said with a shrug. "Yes you do... wow is this silk?" "Umm yeah..." He said not telling her it uses to be wrapping paper. Sonjia: Is this gonna be like Utena where Anthy's dress dissolves in water at the party? Patches: They're all perverts here, I swear! She walked out in the dress. "It’s a bit big in some places and small in others..." She said. Jadarin: Sounds like Ranma in Akane's clothing. She looked stunning still. "Mend." Was all Kev said and soon the dress mended it’s self to her. Patches: Although it's a useful power, it's not exactly the most enthralling. Sonjia: Professional tailors are expensive. Jadarin: If that's all it took, why was he so nervous about it fitting? "Much better thank you so much Kev!" She said she hugged him. "Welcome now umm anything you might need, just ask and I’ll see what I can do." He said Patches (Kevin): I'll mend all your clothes lickety-split! Later that night Venous walked up the steeps a lovely sight with her mysteriously hansom escort. Sonjia: Wow, she came in a carraige! Jadarin: Funny how typos still sometimes make sense. Kev looked like a lady killer there was no sine that any one recognized him or his date, Patches: There were a few cosines about it, though. Sonjia: I'll bet his date looks like an "angle", then. he was glad for this though several people who didn’t want to seem sill for not knowing him struck up interesting conversations with him. Jadarin: About how they seemed like sills, apparenty. Sonjia (Kev): So, how are you getting along with the windows? Kev spotted the princess when she came in she was wearing his cloak that he had given her the last time that day that he had supposedly been killed. Patches: I thought he gave it to her the day he "obviously vanished". Sonjia (Setsuna): Wow, he disappeared. He must be dead. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that she still had it and she seemed to treasure it. Jadarin: Like Linus and his blanket. But he noticed she seemed a bit dreary as if she knew he was killed. Patches: Well, he'd show HER. They ate and then it was time to dance. He danced with Venous and then he told her he had to give the princess the package. Sonjia: It had a bomb. She nodded and let him go. Kev made his way over to the princess who still seemed gloomy even though it should have been the best day of her life. Patches: Parties are rarely all good. Sonjia: I prefer peaceful days of relaxation. "Princess Setsuna why you look so gloomy?" He asked seeming to have appeared out of no where he had startled her into jumping. Jadarin: She had been "hopping" someone would talk to her. "Sorry I did not mean to startle you." "It’s OK and I’m sad because I am thinking of a friend who I was told was killed." Patches: Funny how things work out. Sonjia: Is this a set-up or what? "Oh, but are you sure they are dead?" "I don’t know, why do you ask?" "I’m just a subject who wants to cheer up his sad looking princess." Jadarin: I'm also said friend, but I'm the only one here who's intelligent enough to see through people's ridiculously obvious ploys. Sonjia: I wish the other characters weren't so stupid. "I just wish I had gotten to know him better." "Well Princess maybe someday you will, come dance." He said taking her hand. Patches (Kev): And that day is now! See, you're dancing. "But-!" She said as she soon found her self on the dance floor with the tall stranger. Jadarin: Six feet even, I'd wager. "Just relax and don’t worry," he looked around and then whispered. "I’m still alive." She gasped and looked up at the Violet eyed white haired man. Sonjia: It's Xellos with a bleach job! "Kevin?" Patches (Setsuna): I thought we left you home alone! "Yes I’m here for the reason I was wanted dead." He said. "What do you mean?" Jadarin: If we had any idea what any of this means, we wouldn't be MSTing this. Patches: Anime's become too infamous to give up on. "Come follow me." He said pulling her away from the dance floor unseen. He pulled her to the hallway where he pulled out the small package. Sonjia: And pulled some strings, and her finger, for good measure. "This is for you and you alone. You see in the past every planet in our solar system has had a single guardian for their planet, except for your planet. Jadarin (Kev): Yours has had a zillion, but I killed them all. These people are called the Sailor Senshi, only the other Senshi know who they are and my self. Sonjia: I wasn't under the impression they knew him. Patches: I was under the impression that Pluto was one of the first Senshi, actually. The only other one’s who might know the identities of the sailor Senshi are the planetary knights to which I am one. Jadarin: Wow, someone else is the knight now? Sonjia: Must've handed the job over to Venous. I am the oldest and will continue living until I am killed or something else occurs." He explained. Patches: Like a correctly-placed comma. "You see you’re a chosen one the princess of every planet is one. But you are different your job as a Senshi is to guard the Gats of time from all danger." He said. Sonjia (Setsuna): But... I was already aspiring to be a dentist! She was shocked at what he was saying. "But isn’t that suppose to be your job?" Jadarin (Kevin): Yeah, but I just got a killer retirement package. Cancun, here I come! "No it’s not any more I know it seems a heavy burden but I’ll be their quietly to help you then it’s my job to vanish working to fix what I see. Patches: Kinda hard to see things when you're invisible. Sonjia: He's "their" now. Jadarin: Someone ownz him, I guess. You will be able to see 50 years into the future I can see 100 but you will not be able to see me and soon you might forget me yet you will always remember someone. Patches: Oh.... boy, that made no sense. Jadarin: (singin) I will remember you... Will you remember me... I know you may not like that Idea but that’s the way things go." Sonjia (Kev): As for me... I'm FREE!! Hahahaha! Patches: Now that he no longer has his duties, he can depart from the Sailor Moon universe completely and have the fic revolve solely around him. Jadarin: As usual. He noticed some guards heading his way. "Listen open it when you are alone, show it to no one, you will know what you are to do with it once you open it. Patches (Kev): I left instructions inside. Sonjia (Setsuna): Attach wand A to key B while holding in hand D. Whaa? I must go now enjoy the night Setsuna, and do not worry about me any more!" He said the guards were closing in on him quickly. Jadarin: Gotta love how they treat their party guests. Sonjia: Probably just realized that the invitations were fake. "Try and catch me you slow poke!" He called out to them Patches: So, is there one guard, or a few? Sonjia: Maybe it's that old guy/guys from Anime Yuy II! this got them mad and they soon caught up to him. "Stupid move! AHHHHHHHH!" He took off the guards right behind him. Setsuna watched looking down at the small package. Jadarin: Kinda hard to look at both at once. Sonjia: Maybe he shrank and is running around the box. "I’ll never forget you Kevin..." she said. Patches (Setsuna): Jack... I'll never let go... Sonjia: Oy, don't quote that. Please. Jadarin: Hey, that's the end! Patches: And, amazingly... it almost looks like an ending! Sort of. Sonjia: You mean an Anime fic actually ended? Jadarin: Let us hope so. Patches: Maybe she'll get back to one of her other ones now. Sonjia: Or start that Trigun fic. This almost seemed like a prelude to it. Jadarin: You're really looking forward to that one, aren't you? Sonjia: It's a morbid curiousity. Patches: Well, it looks like my work here is done. Adeiu! Jadarin: Finally, she left. Sonjia: Better not say anything, else we might incur her wrath. Patches: (deep) I'll be back. Both: Yaaay... Stinger: She ran at him with amazing speed and then there was a clank of swords.