TITLE: Unreservedly Remus

AUTHOR: Llama

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: R

FEEDBACK: Fluffy_Llama2000@yahoo.co.uk

DISCLAIMER: I don't claim to own these characters and I make no money from this.

SUMMARY: Four consecutive Saturday nights in the life of Remus J. Lupin as he attempts to come out of his shell…and the closet.

NOTES: Part of 'Howling At The Moon: The Remus J. Lupin Fuh-Q-Fest'. Written as a response to the following randomly drawn challenge: 41 - Remus is sick of people thinking he's the quiet, studious one. (Madilayn)

SPOILERS: None.

BETA: Huge thanks to Essayel for the beta and kind comments!

ARCHIVING: 'Howling At The Moon: The Remus J. Lupin Fuh-Q-Fest' of course, and any lists posted to later on.

Chapter 1

"Don't wait up, lads!" The door slammed behind Sirius as he ran up the steps to the street, his leather coat flapping as he passed the window.

"Nice to see you too, mate." James Potter pulled a beer free and tossed one each to Remus and Peter. He raised an arm to sniff as he opened his can. "I did have a bath before I came out."

"You know Sirius, always the party animal." Remus tried a small smile, which didn't quite come off. "I think he must be seeing someone. He's been out of here every Saturday night at this time for over a month." His voice sounded uncharacteristically hoarse even to him.

"Probably." Peter seemed less interested in Sirius' possible love life than working out how to open a packet of peanuts without putting his beer down.

James sighed. "How many times, Peter - we've left school now, you're allowed to do magic for silly things like that."

"Um...Bustio!" The bag split, peanuts bursting out in all directions. Pettigrew narrowly avoided losing his beer in shock - whether because of the suddenness or because it actually worked, Remus wasn't sure.

James turned back to Remus. "You two don't go down to the Fig and Firkin on Saturday nights any more then? I know we haven't been around for a bit but you seemed to have a good routine." He stole a handful of peanuts. "Cracking barmaids down that place, though don't tell Lily I said that."

"I missed a couple of nights out when I was doing my exams, and when I lifted my head out of the books Sirius had a whole new social life." But please not a love life as well, or if it is, let it stay secret.

"Some things never change, eh Moony. Books before fun with you every time." James teased.

Peter nodded, and swallowed another mountain of nuts. "He wasn't dressed for the local pub tonight, was he? He'll be off to one of those noisy clubs, the sort of thing he used to sneak off to with James in the summer holidays."

Remus could sympathise with the wistful note in Peter's voice, although it hadn't bothered him like this back in their school days, even when they had all been separated for holidays.

"Oh some of those places were awful." James grinned, nonetheless. "If he's back in some of those haunts you're best off out of it Moony, you'd hate them. Throbbing music, clouds of smoke, crowds drinking...hell for you quiet types!"

Remus agreed privately, but it would be nice for once to be thought of as a party animal, even if the effort of actually being one would be a lot less fun. "I know how to have a good time too, James. How do you know I'm not out clubbing every other night of the week?" His voice was rather sharper than he'd intended.

James just smiled. Remus loved James like a brother but he could have cheerfully strangled him for that oh so patronising look.

"No, really, come on Remus. You know it's not your thing. I wonder where he's gone? Let's see, there was one we went to...Daffy's or something, you had to use the girls' toilet because the gents was full of men...um, getting friendly." He chuckled at the memory. "Sirius came out as pale as a ghost! Don't think he'd go back to that one, especially if he's meeting a girl, as you say."

James ran through their clubbing escapades in a wave of nostalgia, accompanied by gasps of horror and nervous giggles from Peter, an appreciative audience as always. Remus tuned them both out and began to form a plan.

Chapter 2

"Just off in the shower!" Sirius called in passing Remus’ room.

Remus undid one more button on his shirt, then quickly fastened it up again as he caught the reflection in the mirror behind him. "What?" He watched Sirius get closer in the mirror until he stood right behind him.

"You're going out?"

"Yes, just for an hour or two."

"I didn’t think the lads were over again so soon?" Sirius hovered, looking puzzled.

"They’re not." Remus shook his hair out and half heartedly ran a brush through it.

"You’ve made some friends in that class of yours then? That’s…good, that’s really good." Was that a touch of disappointment?

"Not really. Not up to socialising level anyway. They formed their cliques pretty early on." Just like we all did, was the unspoken addition. Oh boy have I found out what it’s like on the outside of one of those.

Sirius looked guilt-stricken. "Moony, we haven’t spent any nights out together in ages, why don’t we go to the pub tonight?"

Remus smiled. "It’s okay Sirius, I have plans."

"I smell secrets…." He could see Sirius' eyes widen suddenly. "You have a date!" That tantalising mouth moved closer to his ear; soft black hair brushed his face, smelling faintly of the expensive shampoo Sirius couldn't live without. To Remus' mind it was the most erotic smell he'd ever encountered, but he doubted that was a result of the price.

"Moony’s got a girlfriend, Moony’s got a girlfriend!"

"Really Padfoot, are you still twelve?" Remus laughed all the same; this was the closest to the good old days things had been for months now.

"You have! Come on, you can tell me anything, this is your old mate Padfoot."

"No, I really haven't." Are you completely blind, Sirius? Have I ever shown any interest in a girl? Not like you, always drooling over someone - although sometimes I’ve wondered if it wasn't too much...

"Well make sure you have a good night. You don't get out enough." Sirius reached round and undid the top button of Remus’ shirt again. "Much better that way." As he pulled away he gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek, ever the flirt. "Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!" he called as he ran off to his shower.

Remus touched his hand to his cheek, seeing his startled face gazing back at him from the mirror, then tried a rakish grin on for size. "Can’t guarantee that, I’m afraid."

Well, this was…not quite what he'd had in mind. Remus sighed as the elderly man at the next table carefully counted out his shrapnel for one last half of the cheapest draught beer. The jukebox slid into half-hearted life with yet another mindless love song. Love Is In The Air? How utterly moronic, not to mention inaccurate. Mothballs and boiled cabbage were all his nostrils were picking up.

He suspected he was just depressed. The evening had started badly - half an hour on a bus cornered by a woman with a string bag full of tin cans and a battered toy dog under her arm. By the time she'd finished giving him the full gory details of her daughter's hysterectomy he'd been convinced if he wasn't gay before then he would be now. Things deteriorated from there with almost an hour trudging down littered streets on the outskirts of the city trying to track down the address given for the club and keeping the worn soles of his boots out of the trails of glass from the broken windows of empty concrete office blocks that lined the way.

It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't finally bolted for this rather shabby pub as soon as he'd actually located the bloody club. It was either that or get more funny looks from the doorman who had already asked him twice if he was looking for something. He wasn't sure he could ever go back now.

Why was he here? Why did he ever think he could break out of the sensible studious image and live a little outside of tagging along with his more exciting friends' lives? The thought of going home without achieving anything but deepening his insecurities was…no. It wasn't happening. He downed the rest of the pint he'd been nursing for the best part of an hour, and braved the street again. Saturday night was just about creeping up on the surprisingly empty streets, and small groups of people were hanging around in the pools of light spilling out from pubs and doorways to the accompaniment of a jarring variety of music.

He took a deep breath and tagged onto the end of a laughing group all making their way towards the now brightly glowing sign reading 'Daffy's'. He sighed in relief as the doorman didn't seem to notice him, and followed the mesmerising shiny leather jacket of the man in front of him into the broiling depths of hell.

Remus clung to the bar as crowds jostled and elbowed their way past, bending close to each other to shout greetings, all way over his head, literally. Why bother having bar stools if it was impossible to sit on them without sweaty armpits in your face? He struggled to his feet, deciding the other options of checking out the dance floor – even with his two left feet – and maybe just possibly taking a very quick glance towards those notorious toilets had to be less daunting than this. Possibly. When it came to the toilets, his mind took a detour into no-mans-land when he tried to imagine what went on. God but he really needed some proper information. For some reason the minimal sex education delivered with clinical propriety by McGonagall in his sixth year had been of limited relevance.

Reaching his feet and preparing to thrust forward elbows first into the mob, Remus found himself face to face with Mr Shiny Leather Jacket. He was smiling. Remus had been smiled at before, or so he had thought. He decided those were some inferior species of smile and this one…this one that said "I don't know you, but I find you attractive in a really shallow kind of way" was the best one he'd seen in a long time. Mr Shiny Jacket was no Sirius…but the smile was the first friendly sign he'd had in hours. And the new Remus, or the pretend Remus – whatever it was – he could deal with shallow.

"Not leaving already I hope?" Shiny Jacket yelled down his ear, leaning in close.

"Um…" Remus was stumped. If he mentioned the dance floor, would it sound as if he was fishing for an invitation? He certainly wasn't going to mention the other place he'd been contemplating. He opened his mouth then realised he was never going to make himself heard. He shook his head instead and gestured at the crowd.

"Yeah, it can get bad in here. Fancy trying somewhere else?"

He nodded without even thinking, and followed the jacket back out of the club into the cool night air, breathing deeply now he was away from the smoky darkness.

"I'm Joe." Remus hoped he'd remember that when he tried to use it and not revert to Shiny Jacket.

"Um, I'm…" What on earth was he going to call himself? No way was he giving his name to this stranger. "James." He prayed James never found out as he followed the man down the hill. He hadn't the faintest idea where he was going, but Joe seemed to know his way around.

"James. Right." Joe obviously didn't believe him, but he didn't seem too surprised. He stopped suddenly. "Listen, it's getting a bit late, and everywhere is packed on a Saturday."

"Right. Yes." He didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed he was being dumped already. "Well, I'll…"

"But my place isn't too far if you-"

"Oh. Um, yes. Why not." He hoped he looked less terrified than he felt, but it seemed unlikely.

"Great. We can get a taxi down here. Come on." He beckoned Remus down to the main road.

A taxi? But hadn't he said it wasn't far? Where was he going to end up, what if he couldn't afford…but Joe had stepped into the road and miraculously found a taxi. Remus wondered at that, he hadn't managed to pick up that knack and he was a wizard for god's sake. There see, he was a wizard. If Shiny…Joe, turned out to be a crazed psychopath, he could deal with it. Joe, who had found him attractive. Joe, who had picked up a complete stranger and was now waiting for him in a taxi not five minutes later. There had to be something wrong with him. Sirens, police tape and News at Ten flitted through his mind briefly and were rejected as melodramatic nonsense. Joe, who was going to take him home and expect him to….shit.

When he stopped running, Remus was at least six streets away and could no longer hear the streaks of traffic passing on the main road. He felt slightly stupid, but immeasurably calmer. He wondered if it was entirely normal to be more concerned about not knowing what to do with a man's cock than about him being a psychopath. Rather more pressingly, however, he wondered where the hell he was. At roughly the same moment he realised he'd left his coat behind in the club, it started to rain. The evening had now officially passed disaster three stops back and was heading into uncharted nightmare regions.

By the time he'd walked home by probably the longest possible route bar going though Scotland, it was nearly 4am. At least that was outrageous by Remus standards. He'd be able to say "Oh, I'm so tired, didn't get in till 4. A good night? You know how it is, I can barely remember it." It wasn't much, but it was all the proof of a successful and exciting evening he had, so it would have to suffice. It was so late even Sirius was probably in by now, spilling coffee all over the kitchen and mightily impressed at Remus not being there for him to wake up with his off-key drunken singing.

But there was no sign of Sirius in the silent, darkened flat as Remus let himself in. No coffee spilt in the kitchen, no trail of shoes and shirt leading to his room. Remus sat on the sofa in miserable darkness until sleep overtook him, wondering what Sirius was doing…and to whom.

Chapter 3

Remus listened out for signs of life as he let himself into the flat as quietly as he could. No music, no TV, no gorgeous tempting flatmate…he was alone.

He hurried into his room and pulled a package out from under his long shabby winter coat, looking around for a hiding place. He settled for jamming it into a half unpacked box under the bed, and took a few deep breaths to relax. Calm, Remus, calm. Oh god what if he comes in here looking for…even in panic mode Remus was having trouble thinking of any reason Sirius would be searching under his bed. Anything could happen though. He grabbed some books from the nearest shelf and stacked them up in front of the box. Layers, that was the answer. Put enough stuff there and anyone would lose patience and give up. He almost dropped the last book as the rattle of a key in the door and a thump as it was kicked sounded from the other room. He took off his coat and tried to look casually busy. It was harder than it sounded.

"Bloody sodding taxis."

Remus just grinned. Sirius' shopping trips always ended the same way. He hated buses but it was never easy getting a taxi back to their unfashionably south of the river address, and almost impossible if it looked like the driver might actually have to help with luggage or bags.

Sirius appeared in the doorway heavily laden, and dropped the collection of bags with a shrug. "God I hate shopping."

"Liar. You love shopping. You're such a girl Padfoot." Remus teased.

Sirius stuck his tongue out as he ripped the packaging off a dark blue shirt and held it up to him. "What do you think?"

"I think you'll be fighting them off, as usual." You'll certainly be fighting me off if I don't get out of here before you put that on. "That for tonight?"

"Yeah." Sirius stuffed the shirt back in the bag carelessly. "Don't look like that, I'll hang it up in a minute." He grinned at Remus' sceptical face. "Looks like you're catching my bad habits now." He bent and picked up the books from the nearest pile on the floor. "What on earth are these doing down here?" He pulled the next pile out and squinted at the titles.

"Nothing." Remus pulled them away from him quickly. "I was just checking a reference and got distracted."

"Typical Moony." Sirius reached out and ruffled his hair before turning back to the book. "Checking a reference in '101 Uses for a Dead Cat?' I won't ask. Except - is there anything you haven't read a book on?"

"Oh one or two things." Remus cast a surreptitious glace to the disturbed defences of his under the bed stash. "Mind if I get the first shower? It'll give you time to unpack."

"Help yourself. I'm going to try it all on first anyway!"

Remus groaned to himself. He really didn't need the image of Sirius pulling on and off shirt after shirt just before he went in the shower. He shut the door carefully before retrieving the secret package, wrapping it up in a towel and making a dash for it to the bathroom.

OK. Door locked. Check again to be sure. Push. Pull. It's locked. Remus sat down on the toilet seat and unwrapped his package.

"Practical Gay Sex." Do they set homework too? Is there an exam? Oh god, this was the most embarrassing thing he'd ever bought. Three buses it had taken him to get far enough away from home to find a bookshop where the staff weren't on first name terms with him.

He flicked through the first couple of chapters. This was going to take time to read. Even at his pace, he wasn't going to get through more than a chapter before going out if he wanted to go out tonight. He flicked onto some illustrations. Oh my…he shook himself. Yes, it would take him some time to…study this as it deserved, and if he wanted to avoid seeing Sirius in his new shirt…oh god. Shower time.

Remus loved the shower. After an especially bad day he'd been known to stand under the scalding water for an hour, just feeling the warmth surround him. He tried to ignore the bottle on the shelf that kept catching his eye – no time for that today.

The pictures from the book…he hadn't had chance to examine the activities going on in detail but all that naked flesh…every time a memory popped up, something else popped up too, until he couldn't ignore it any longer. Remus leaned back against the slippery tiled wall, eyes closed. He allowed a hand to stroke through the streaming water over his chest, across his stomach, bumping into the column of flesh that refused to go away. With a sigh of half pleasure and half resignation, Remus grabbed blindly for the forbidden bottle.

It had started by accident, really it had. Sirius had been hungover, and washed his hair in the sink, so ill that he forgot to put the lid back on his shampoo. Remus could remember leaning naked over the sink himself later while he shaved - how his nostrils had filled with the scent that made up so much of Sirius' unique smell, and how it had made him instantly hard against the cold porcelain. He had stood there at the sink, looking into his own rapidly dilating pupils in the mirror while he had smeared the smooth runny gel all over him, surrounded by the scent of Sirius.

He used the shampoo sparingly tonight – too much and he'd be distracted for hours daydreaming of his face buried in that soft black hair, breathing Sirius in for real. He smoothed traces of its silky coolness across a nipple, hissing as he made contact with skin sensitive from the scalding spray. He wrapped a slick hand around his impatiently waving cock and slid into a silent world of touch and smell as the shower roared and bubbled over his head. Hand working expertly and fast he moaned and gasped, his orgasm washed away as quickly as it appeared by the relentless flow from above.

Remus left the warmth of a lively Muggle pub in a more relaxed mood than he had any right to be considering he was about to have another attempt at Being Gay In Public. The terrors of the club were a little less daunting now – he'd made it in and out of there once with no major catastrophes. He really hoped Mr Shiny Jacket – whose name he couldn't for the life of him remember – wasn't going to kick up a fuss if they met again, but he didn’t know anywhere else to go.

In the event he found it easy to blend into the crowd now he knew more about the social conventions. He kept moving, avoided meeting anyone's eyes to start with, and tried to look as if he stood in a room full of 500 men who might possibly lust after his body every night of the week. He checked for signs of imminent panic at that thought but found it oddly arousing instead. Thank god for the session in the shower; at least he might be able to display some judgement if anyone approached him.

This time he soon located the area that had been so daunting for Sirius in James' story. Oh Padfoot, if only you knew where I was and what I'm…well I don't know if I'm going to do anything, but looking can't hurt. I mean, it's a toilet, I'm new, I can't be expected to know what goes on…oh sod the morals, I just need to know. He casually made his way over towards the trickle of sated men occasionally exiting the swing door and tried to get a glimpse each time the door swung open and back again.

Summoning up all his courage he finally pushed the door open, almost knocking an exiting man over in his nervousness. The dim fluorescent light was harsh after the coruscated gloom of the club. Two men were locked in each others' arms over by a sink, and low sounds emanated from a couple of cubicles from behind closed doors. Going with the 'just here for the toilet' innocent abroad plan if challenged, he made his way down to the open door at the far end of the cubicles, only realising it was occupied once he had a full view of the occupants.

Stark light gleamed on a pale throat; shaggy head thrown back in ecstasy. Flashes of music burst in as the door opened and closed. Rhythmic bobbing of a blond-haired head as a practised mouth slid noisily and enthusiastically up and down the shockingly naked erection. It was the shirt that caught Remus' attention even more than the fascinating act the blond was performing just south of it. Unbuttoned almost to the navel so that it half-slid off the lean muscled shoulders, this was a shirt he had last seen only a few short hours ago. The shaggy-haired man arched against the wall and thrust hard into the attentive mouth, crying out. He lifted his head slowly and stared straight into Remus' eyes as his hands directed the blond's head to clean him up. Dark blue eyes widened in shock. Remus took advantage of the stupidity of the post-orgasmic haze and bolted from the club, losing himself in the empty streets at the bottom of the hill for the second time in two weeks. He stopped in a shadowy alley, panting, and leaned against a high wall to regain his breath.

A few moments later soft padded feet bounded into the alleyway. Remus didn't even bother to open his eyes as Sirius transformed. Silence. Then…

"Remus? Moony?" The cockiness was gone; none of the Black arrogance was present in the quiet plea. Remus forced his eyes open. Sirius was still the picture of debauchery; jeans hastily zipped and a shirt tail caught in them, only one or two buttons fastened, chest gleaming with cold sweat in the yellow street light.

He stepped out of the shadows. "I'm here."

Silence. Remus wasn't sure how so many thoughts could stay in his head without bursting out. He didn't dare open his mouth in case he said the wrong thing, the right thing, the true thing – anything.

"It's not how I wanted you to find out."

He expelled a long breath. "I know." It's not how he'd want anyone to find out about him, assuming he ever got that far. "I didn't run because it – I was just surprised, that's all. I'm sorry."

"Did you follow me there?" Sirius sounded more curious than annoyed.

"No!" Oh shit. That might have been the better option. He couldn't see any other way out of it now than to admit he'd deliberately gone to the club knowing what to look for. He stumbled on blindly. "James-"

"I might have known." Sirius scowled. "Him and his bloody pranks. Sorry Moony."

"It's not a problem. If I'd told you…" Yeah right.

"Too many secrets on both sides I think." Sirius sighed. "What happened to us all Moony? A few months out of school and we're already all growing apart, even you and me. If we carry on like this we'll all be strangers soon."

"Never happen." Remus took his arm impulsively and brought him into a near hug for a second. Sirius hugged him back gratefully. "But let's have Prongs and Wormtail over next weekend for a good night out – all of us together?" He grinned. "But not that hellhole, eh?" He shuddered, relieved he was free of any obligation to go back to that place. Surely there had to be quieter places to go? Why was it always pubs and clubs - didn't they do gay libraries? He pondered the problem as he followed Sirius into the Saturday night taxi hunting fray.

Chapter 4

"So, down to the Fig and Firkin is it? Is that little blonde still working in there?" James threw the book down he'd been fidgeting with while he waited for Sirius to get ready.

"You mean the one that fancies Sirius?" Peter was checking his collar in the mirror above the mantelpiece, straining to stand on tiptoe to see himself properly.

"She does not! That's what I liked about her – for once someone who can see through that superficial charm." James smirked. "She gave me free roasted nuts you know."

"That was a promotional freebie you wassock." Sirius was resplendent in yet another new outfit. Remus tried not to look for too long.

Sirius took up a pose lounging against the fire. "Actually…" He waited until he had everyone's attention before continuing. "I wanted to say something before we go out. I've got something to tell you." He took a deep breath. "I'm gay." He looked around expectantly.

James' mouth dropped open. "But…" he trailed off, looking confused.

"Thought so," said Peter, shrugging. "Is that it, or is this leading up to you bringing out some big leather boy and announcing your engagement, 'cause if it's all the same to you I'd like a drink before you do that."

Everyone stared this time. "What?"

"So how long…" James was still casting wondering glances at Peter.

"Well we didn't end up at some of those clubs by accident you know." Sirius grinned.

"I might have known. You weren't…you didn't…do anything though? Did you? I mean, I'd have thought I'd have known."

"No. I only went those few times with you by 'accident' and I couldn't get up to much with you around." He grinned even more widely. "Now of course is a very different story."

"I don't want to know!" James put his hands over his ears as if he could block out the tales.

"I do," said Peter happily. For the second time he left the others speechless. "What? I'm just taking an interest."

"Okay…so I take it Peter doesn't have a problem with it – possibly to a rather disturbing level – what about you James? Still want to be my best mate?" Sirius' tone was light but Remus could hear the uncertainty in his voice. He crossed his fingers tightly and berated himself for the cowardice of letting Sirius go through this alone.

"Course I do, pillock. You don't get rid of me that easily." James smirked. "As long as you don’t fancy me I don't have any problem with it."

"Prongs old pal, if you were the last man on earth, women would look a whole lot better."

"Good." And after a second, "Hey!" Laughter flooded the room.

"So, shall we go?" Sirius started to put on his jacket and search for his keys.

"You haven't asked Remus." Peter pointed out.

"Asked Remus?" Sirius looked blank for a moment. Remus tried to think of a change of subject but busied himself looking for his shoes instead.

"Yes. Did Remus already know about you? With you being flatmates and all. Only you didn't ask him what he thought."

"Well thanks to someone's little prank, Remus found out before I was quite ready to tell you all. I think you owe him a drink for that Prongs, you can pay up tonight."

"Prank?" James looked at Remus. "What did I do? And how drunk was I?"

"You know, telling him to go to Daffy's not knowing what sort of place it was. And very, knowing you."

Peter was looking puzzled. "But-"

James interrupted quickly. "Oh that was just a bit of a laugh, no harm done, eh Moony?" Remus shook his head, colouring slightly under James' appraising look.

"Well, thankfully I was there to stop him getting into any trouble." Sirius grinned. "He'd be the one engaged to the big leather boy if I hadn't found him, and wouldn't that have been a shock."

Remus chucked a cushion at him, glad of the diversion, but hadn't banked on Sirius' need to relieve the tension. Sirius advanced on him with mischief in his dark eyes.

"Now haven't I told you not to start with me, Moony? You know I always win!" He held his arms wide, trying to shepherd Remus towards the sofa, but they'd been here many times before.

"Arrogant little pup!" Remus grabbed a second cushion and launched himself at Sirius, who fought back valiantly before collapsing onto the sofa underneath 12 stone of determined flatmate, giggling helplessly.

James and Peter exchanged glances full of dawning comprehension.

"When you've quite finished with the foreplay lads, Pete and I will be in the pub." James smirked as Peter smothered a laugh.

"You mean horseplay." Remus corrected breathlessly, dodging the hand Sirius had worked free and was trying to swat at him with.

Remus had no time to wonder why James went off muttering "I know what I meant" as Sirius took advantage of his distraction to wrest the cushion from his hand. He shrieked as Sirius pushed him up and over with an evil look of intent on his face, and the cushion began to descend towards his head at an alarming rate before the sofa toppled over and landed them in a heap on the floor.

"That was good. We need to spend more time with Wormtail and Prongs." Sirius yawned as he stumbled in the front door. "I've missed them."

"You're the one started going out on your own every Saturday night, you….shameless tart." Remus looked around the untidy kitchen. "Where have you hidden the coffee this time?" He sniffed. "And what on earth is that stink?"

He opened the fridge. "Well that solves one mystery." He removed the coffee jar and put it by the kettle where it belonged. He poked cautiously at a plate of slimy stuff at the bottom of the fridge. "Is this meant to be green?"

"Tart? How else am I supposed to learn what's what, read a book? Not my style." Remus was thankful his head was obscured by the fridge door. "I'm just a seeker after new experiences, an experimenter in the adventures of life…"

"As I said, a tart." Remus stood up and shoved the plate under Sirius' nose. "What is this?"

"Who knows. If it smells, chuck it out." Sirius shrugged.

Remus carried the plate at arms length to the bin. "It's still going to stink the place out, Sirius. Stop buying things you won't eat just because they sound interesting and trendy."

Sirius opened the window, grabbed the plate, and tossed the contents outside into the darkness. "Problem solved."

"Padfoot!" Remus was almost speechless.

"Oh pack it in." Sirius finished making the coffee and carried it into the living room. "You're so fussy sometimes." He took a long gulp, gasping at the scalding hot drink.

"I'm not fussy; you're a slob."

"Tart and slob in the same evening, ooh Moony you say all the sweetest things." He ducked as Remus aimed a playful slap at his head, then dived for a nearby felt tip pen before Remus could get there. Coming out of the scrum victorious, he pinned the struggling man down and pulled the lid off with his teeth. Spitting it out he struck a thoughtful pose. "Revenge! Now, what shall I start with…oh yes "F...U…S…" As the pen squeaked across his forehead Remus wriggled and squealed, trying not to laugh but determined to get away. As the pen approached for the next letter he wriggled free and jumped to his feet. Sirius dived again as he made it to the door but Remus was out and away into the hall.

Breathless and giddy, Remus pushed the door shut behind him and shoved the umbrella stand against it to slow Sirius down. He heard it crash to the floor as he ducked into his bedroom and leapt onto his neatly made bed, throwing the quilt over himself and wrapping it tightly around his head. He pulled it closer still as he heard heavy stalking footsteps enter and cross the room.

A soft sing-song voice whispered deliciously in the dark. "I'm coming to get you, Remus."

Remus shivered and held his breath, heart threatening to break out of his chest and send the quilt hurtling off him if he didn't grip it with all his strength.

"It's going to be so much worse for you now." The voice was filled with suppressed laughter and a hint of menace that thrilled him and set his nerves jittering.

The voice was creeping closer, though the footsteps were silent now. Remus strained for clues as to how near Sirius was getting, though it was difficult through the thick quilt.

Suddenly a voice far too close for comfort added. "There may be tickling involved now…"

That did it. Remus shuddered and threw the quilt off him, catching Sirius off balance. As Sirius tried to push it off and grab him, Remus made it to the other side of the room and stood panting, trying to calm the unfamiliar feelings rushing through him as it dawned on him how close to occupying the same bed they'd been.

"Chicken." Sirius wasn't moving, just eying Remus with a predatory look, as if he would start again any second.

Oh you don't know the half of it. Remus stayed alert, edging closer to the door. Sirius stretched theatrically, his t-shirt still dishevelled from the struggle riding up to display too much skin for Remus' peace of mind even in the half light coming from the open door. Sirius grinned. Remus gulped. That was never good.

Pushing the messed up bedclothes aside, Sirius settled himself on the bed, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes. "Comfy bed this one, Moony. Think I'll just stay here for the night." His voice was still full of laughter. "Why don't you take my bed?"

"No way am I going near your bed, and you damn well know it. God knows what you have lurking in that room."

"Looks like you're on the floor then, Moony."

Remus still suspected a trap, but approached carefully. It looked as if Sirius had his eyes shut properly, but he'd thought that to his cost before now, and in the poor light it was even harder to be sure. As he got within arms reach and Sirius showed no signs of moving he relaxed slightly and nudged Sirius' leg over so he could sit on the edge of the narrow bed.

The leg moved slightly and brushed against Remus as he manoeuvred over a little; touched him far more than was strictly necessary it almost seemed. Remus hardly dared breathe as he stilled the leg with his hand, involuntarily stroking lightly, barely aware of his hand as it began to repeatedly caress the spot gently.

The tiny rational piece of his mind that remained muttered insidiously that any second Sirius would push him away and jump up, and this moment of closeness would be over. Sirius was on his bed only because they had been fighting, as good friends do, just playing like the schoolboys they no longer were. That long black hair was littering his pillow for just this moment, then would be gone, as if it had never sprawled there begging Remus to run his fingers through it. This was nothing. Nothing. He had to move, had to laugh and tell Sirius to get up and bugger off to his own room…not touch him and beg him to stay.

Sirius' hand casually rested on Remus' arm, and almost imperceptibly, the fingers stroked in time with Remus' out of control hand. With the returned touch Remus knew Sirius wanted this, knew it in every part of his being, but…but this was him. How could this amazing creature - that it still astounded him was even his friend – how could he want this from him? Sirius was the one everyone wanted, always had been, but always unattainable it seemed…until now, and all he had to do was find the nerve.

For all his cockiness and self-confidence, he knew there was no way Sirius could make the move – not the final, make-no-mistake-this-is-what-I'm-doing move. It was up to him. Remus, the one who had to be dragged away from his books into mischief by the others every time. Remus who wrapped his arms around himself at night - and sometimes in the day too - to imagine someone was there, just for him. Remus who…could go back to that, back to his books, back to living through other people….or he could lean down, slowly, rest his hand among the thick, soft black hair, and kiss the lips of the most beautiful man he had ever known, before the spell broke. Every time he played it out in his mind's eye, the movie stopped when their lips touched. Beyond that, his imagination seemed incapable of venturing. So much for the bloody books, he thought, and that settled it.

Remus leaned down. Sirius' face still betrayed no sign of a reaction. He supported himself with a hand on the pillow, brushing the hair aside, and moved closer still. As Remus made to close the final distance between them, too close to stop now, two warm, strong hands pulled him the rest of the way down.

"Knew you were faking." Remus murmured as he fell into the kiss.

Remus knew he was trembling, but there was no shame. He wanted to tell Sirius he had no idea what he was doing, but every time he pulled his mouth away it went immediately back of its own accord to latch onto whatever piece of skin was nearest. He was wrapped in Sirius' arms, and the wonder of it swept him away, hours of time dissolving into split seconds of memory that broke through the desperate caresses.

// A bell chiming some non-existent hour as he felt Sirius' hands slide under his shirt to knead his spine. Whispered nonsense flowed through him, placating his panic at the intimate touch. //

// A fight; raised voices and the clattering of dustbins in the alley were ignored as streams of black hair trailed down his chest, following the sure mouth that kissed and nudged its way down to his belt. Lifting his hips; hardly aware as the remainder of his clothing vanished onto the floor; Sirius' lips barely leaving his skin for a moment. //

// The squall of cats in one of the neighbouring gardens; Remus shuddered as Sirius' mouth engulfed his cock, the heat speading through him to finally quell the shaking body as – oh god – Sirius sucked and coaxed his release out of him. //

Daylight filtered through the haphazardly closed blinds by the time Sirius pushed slowly into him, nipping and kissing his shoulder, murmuring reassurance. Remus clung tightly, carried along in trusting passion. He knew now that wherever Sirius went, he'd be right beside him.

Though maybe next weekend, staying in would be more fun.