Don't Blame Oscar Or Mystery of the Cheese Sandwich By Heather P. Knight "Where is the G.D. remote?" "Well, how should I know?" "You had it last." "No I didn't. Oscar did." "Why do you always blame him for everything?" "Because he's Oscar." "That's so unfair." "Only if you're Oscar. Are you finished with the paper?" "Yeah. I wanna watch TV." "I'm throwing it out, then." "What? The TV?" "No, the paper. Smartass." "Oscar might want it." "Go ask him." "You ask him." "Fine. Out it goes." "Why don't you ask if he wants it?" "I'd rather throw it out now." "You just don't want to talk to him." "You're the one who needs the remote." "It's here somewhere. Who would take it?" "You can have three guesses." "Found it! Ha ha ha!" "And the blind shall see. It was on top of the TV, wasn't it?" "Yeah--Hey! If you knew that, why didn't you say so?" "Lucky guess." "Right." "Oh, gross!" "What?!" "There's a half-eaten cheese sandwich under the sofa!" "You give me a heart attack for a cheese sandwich?" "You people live like pigs." "There's three of us in this house." "God forbid anybody should pick up after themselves. Oh, this is so disgusting!" "Take a chill pill." "Ugh! There's bugs crawling all over it." "It couldn't have been there that long." "When's the last time you looked under the sofa?" "Just throw it away already. Wrap it in the news." "Can't. Already threw it out." "Well, use something else then." "God! Oh, this is sick!" "It's just a sandwich." "Yeah? Well, you can haul Jimmy Hoffa out next, alright?!" "You're so cute when you're disgusted." "Pervert." "Are you going in the kitchen?" "Get your own beer. I'm not your maid." "Yeah. The frilly apron and the rubber gloves confused me for a second there." "You've got to tell Oscar to take his half-eaten food out of here from now on." "Me?! Why me?" "He's your friend." "He's your friend too." "Here's your beer." "How suspiciously nice of you." "So, will you tell him?" "I'll think about it. Right now I just wanna watch TV." "Be careful where you sit. No telling what's in the cushions." "OK. Now, where's the G.D. TV Guide?" "Well, how should I know?" "You had it last." "No I didn't. Oscar did." "You always blame Oscar." The End