FUNNY STUFF
Cat Burglar
The jokes on this page have been found in the public domain on the net.  Mostly because I am not smart enough to make them up or I can't remember a good joke 2 minutes after someone tells me.  If you have one to submit please E-Mail it to me below.  ENJOY!
WARNING>>> READ THIS FIRST!!!
IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, NURSING, HAVE A HEART CONDITION, BRAIN TUMOR, DIABETES, DA' GOUT, EPILEPSY, ASTHMA, ANY OTHER LUNG DISORDER (OTHER THAN LUPUS, OF COURSE),  HAVE MORE THAN 3 EYES BUT LESS THAN 2, NICKNAMED SPUNKY, TED, CLEDUS, CLYDE OR LUCKY, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ENTER AND ENJOY THE FUNNY STUFF JUST LIKE ANY OTHER NORMAL PERSON!
West Virginia Jokes
I don't have a license to kill but I do have a learner's permit!
If you love something, set it free.  If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and shoot it!
DISCOURAGE INBREEDING...BAN COUNTRY MUSIC!!!
NEWS FLASH>>> Toilet seat stolen at regional jail, troopers have nothing to go on!
Gun Control... Use both hands!
West Virginia, 2,000,000 people, 20 last names.  (Think about it!)
How does the guy in the snowplow get to work in the morning?
If a cow could laugh, would milk come out her nose?
If you threw your cat out the window, would it be called KITTY LITTER?
24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case.  COINCIDENCE?  I think not!
Horn broken... watch for FINGER!
An example of the fine quality of workmanship and well-use of our tax dollars from the WEST VIRGINIA DEPT. of HIGHWAYS!!!  MADE IN THE USA BABY!!!
"And here today students we find the Yellow-Striped Opossum found only in the roadways of West Virginia.  It has a life expectancy of only 3 days and some say it goes great with grits!"
Other Jokes!
The dark ages were caused by the Y1K problem.
Here I am, now what were your other 2 wishes?
After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
Why don't they substitute floatation cushions for parachutes on airplanes?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If 7-11 is open 24 hrs/day, 365 days a year, then why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing sticks to TEFLON then how does TEFLON stick to the pan?
Why do they have BRAILLE dots on the key-pad of a drive-up ATM?
If you choked a smurf, what color would it turn?
What do they do to a Tickle-Me-Elmo before he leaves the factory...  they give him a test-tickle!
Corn oil is made from Corn, Olive Oil is made from Olives, so what is Baby Oil made from?
Cuban SUV
Gay/Lesbian Jokes
Why was the queer fired from the sperm bank?
He got caught drinking on the job.
Did you hear about the 3 gay guys that attacked a woman?
2 of them held her down while the third did her hair!
When a man and a woman marry they get a marriage license.  When lesbians get married they get a Licker-License.
Definition of CONFUSION:
20 blind lesbians at a fish market.
Definition of a GAY MILKMAN:
Dairy Queen
Definition of a GAY DENTIST:
The Tooth Fairy
What did the gay whale do to the submarine?
It bit off one end and sucked out all the sea-men.
What is the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out the meat!
Jokes about Women
What is the difference betweeen a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares, what's she doing out of the kitchen??!
Why did god give men penises?
So we could have at least one way to shut a woman up.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
Why do men die before ther wives?
They want to.
Why can't you trust women?
How can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die?