ANALOGIES



Washington Post Style Invitational, 4/15/07

 

  1. Bob felt as out of place as a Kotex decal on a NASCAR vehicle. (Brendan Beary)

 

  1. He knew this argument with his wife was unwinnable, like the war in Iraq, but that's why he couldn't resist one final surge. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

 

  1. He mangled his prose the way he mangled his bifocals when they fell in the blender and ruined the margaritas, which he drank anyway, which might have been why he mangled his prose. (Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

 

  1. Her emotions were a mixture of fear and joy, like when you have a really good-looking stalker. (Kevin Marshall, South Riding)

 

  1. Her eyes were like twin cyclopses. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

 

  1. Her mouth was so sensual and delicate you would never use the word "piehole" to describe it. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)

 

  1. Her pushed-up cleavage reminded him of two Charlie Brown heads. (Randy Lee, Burke)

 

  1. Her skin was cold and clammy, like a clam that had been stretched over a human body. And not a cooked clam, either. (Andrew Hoenig)

 

  1. Her tears rolled down her face, playing pinball on her zits. (Chuck Smith)

 

  1. Jim was as nervous as an albino penguin in a bowling alley. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

 

  1. She was jumping up and down laughing hysterically, like a hyena duct-taped to a kangaroo. (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

 

  1. The daylight slowly stole away like a crooked bookkeeper. (Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

 

  1. The news hit him hard, like a stack of Sunday Washington Posts thrown from a moving truck, in fact exactly like that. (Drew Bennett, Alexandria)

 

  1. The truth was slippery, like a lake trout used as a ping-pong paddle. (W.H. Welsh IV)

 

  1. There was something about him that just screamed money, as if he'd trained a myna bird to fly around him shouting "money." (Russell Beland)

 

  1. There was something appealing about her that he just couldn't put his finger on, unlike that last girl, who smacked him when had put his finger on her appealing part. (Russell Beland)

 

  1. Trying to keep down his anger was like trying to stuff Siamese twins into a garbage can: No matter what part you shoved down, some other part popped up. (W.H. Welsh IV)

 

  1. We were all alone, just like the characters on that show "Lost" except that we were all alone. (Russell Beland)

 

  1. When the bomb fell on that freight train in the war zone, it sounded just like a tornado. (Ira Allen, Bethesda; Stephen Dudzik, Olney)