YUPPIE ON VACATION


An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and had the time of his life...until the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no one else and nothing but bananas and coconuts.

One day, when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said, "you were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replied the woman. "I whittled the oars from gum tree branches and wove the bottom from palm branches. The sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy was stunned.

"Let's row over to my place" she said. When she docked the boat at a small wharf, the man nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. As they walked into the house, she said casually "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you" he said, still dazed, "can't take any more coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a pina colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.

"This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"

She returned wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias.

"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering close to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know..."

She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing:

"You mean – ?", he replied, " – I can check my e-mail from here????"