| "You know how lava slowly spreads and eventually engulfs everything? That's what my ass is - slowly spreading and eventually it's gonna engulf everything." ~ Vicki Frederick |
| "I don't play defense, I play DIVA-fense!" ... "Go ahead, if you keel over, I won't serve it to the kids" ... "Speaking of Pimp Daddies, I have to go call Jamie!" ... ROWANDATANANNETTE ~ A camp for dysfunctional drama students ... Ghetto Roxie ... We ARE ghetto fabulous ... Hypotypical and Philisophetic ... "Dear Ann Landers, My spouse is a sexaholic..." ... I wanna be a supermodel ... Jesus lives in this piano ... It was a zuchinni, I SWEAR!!! ... Impulsive compulsive disorder ... Save the Cows! ... Look I'm a Tree! ... The bears are having sex in my bag! ... Shoes on the ceiling ... Athena Diner ... Dissed and dismissed by Wanda! ... Look, it's a squid! ... Banana as a gun ... Da Youts ... Chic chic, CLEAR! ... Congratulations on your diploma AND your 12 kids! ... The Shubert Wind Tunnel ... "We're goin to see Chicago! We're goin to see Chicago!" ... The hooker across the street from Starbucks - oiy! ... In the city that never sleeps, NOTHING IS OPEN! ... Diva detours ... "I'm one of the Supremes! I don't wanna be a supreme! I'm Diana Ross for chrissakes!" ... fairy godzilla mother/fairy g-mom ...Spastic Little Pixie ... I guess that gives new meaning to 'kissing the blarney stone' ... There are some MEN who can't drink her under the table! ... Ho ho ho! --> Wanda: "oh look! they're advertising Darlene at Fiddler's!" ...The Little Tiny Hello Kitty Stapler ... I am the new queen of mean! ... "U is for Uncle Wanda... Oh wait! That's not what I meant!" ... Gold tinsel garland halos ... Doesn't play well with others? ---> Me: He runs with scissors! ... I bit the ear off the cow ... I'm latin; we DO have hips! ... I'm gonna beat you in a minute! ... You lying piece of shit ... She's so loose, her lips slap together when she walks ... A thing that goes 'woof': "your mother" ... "Meal in a fancy dining room ~ free, Chinese food ~ $40, Seeing your friend walk in with a tutu on her head ~ Priceless!" ... "Budoo" ~ A cross between Buddah and Voodo ... "I am certifferably sure I did not say hire fydrant!" ... Why are all the Mother's Day cards for MOTHERS!?!? ... "Shows a neurotic tendancy, see note <bing> thank you!" ... Alterior Motives ... "Oh, just ask the fucking question already!" ... "Is that not the end of the dog I got?" ... "That's because we're in the cheap seats!!" ... "But my knees are sore!" ... "Honey, I told you to be more careful when you pull off your girlfriend's clothing!" .. The Ice Princess ... The Mouth of the South ... "His mother, his wife and his... (um) neighbor (his daughter!)" ... Hail Holy Queen - Sister Act Style! ... "If she had a cock ring, would she grow a cock to wear it on?!?" ... "Mayonayse at 2 o'clock!" ... Viagra Falls ... "That's how in 12 different directions I am right now!" ... Snake Boas ... Cool people can't multi task ... Excuse you ... "God Bless the Queen" ... The King of the Queens ... Dumb Bitch/Stupid Whore ... You should just lock her in the basement next time! <--- Damn Straight! ... Harigami = 2 Slap Bracelets ... I'm one of the beautiful people ... Oh my God! She's not picking up the phone! She must be DEAD! ... Wait, you're only 13?!? Get out of my house! ... John's Magic Eyebrows (I am STILL gonna post you on my website!) ... "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay" ... The New Jesus Marketing Strategy (Jesus the Carpenter Calendar!) ... Playing HORSE ~ "Who's a HO? You's a HO... Fine! Then you's a HOR!" ... Guido DeBanker ... I'm absolutely oblivious, right Vicki? ... I don't wanna know about the scuba diver ... Gary singing to himself ... Hottie Gazing with Judy ~ Wait! What do you mean he's married?!?! ... Hold up, Vic, you used to do WHAT?!? You were a dancer for WHO? ... aai'te ~ Ray's ghetto version of alright ... "How is my little mashugana this morning?" ... "You know, if you want to get fired, you're gonna have to do a lot more than lose a package that doesn't belong to us." ... POOL ~ The fool contact sport ... CHEESECAKE ... "Well, I'm nuts about Vicki!" ... Uh hmmm ... "Judy's a little TOO happy this morning" ... "Where's Evan? I need to send him to go get something... (what?) A gun!" ... The people who think I am the amazing kreskin and can tell them where everyone is; sorry, I don't see through walls! ... "I'll see you tomorrow!" ~ "Thanks for the warning." ... "What? Do you want to take it out to the wood shed?!" ... "So where'd you park your broom?" ... "Um, Joel, my phone's gonna explode..." ... The way to a man's heart is through his cock, er, stomach ... WWJD ~ What Would the Jew Do? ... Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Heather ... "Look at those calves! I'll bet she works out!" ~ "Nah, it's all flab!" ... Bob getting her to come back ..."Mom and Dad are gonna go home and bump uglies!" ... Brandi's Bad Visuals ... "Nah Mel, it doesn't bother me! After four years, I've learned how to block it out!" ... Harry, the guys, and the Fag Drink ... Miami Vices and Pink Sneakers ... If it was bad enough that WANDA covered my ears, I really must NOT need to hear it!!! ... "There is NO way you changed her that fast! (I did) YOU"RE HIRED!" ... "She makes an ugly blonde" ... "There's your brother in law!" ... Maryse, this is cash ... Sarah's Monday Morning Dance ... "Next time, just hang up on him!" ~ "Am I allowed to do that?" ... Moe, Larry and Curly ... Vicki dancing into the office ... "Obscene" phone calls ... So Kevin, how many trees DID we kill before we got the letter head right? ... Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town?! ... "Hey Shiela!" ... Hiding the ribbons from the "Rev" ... "Just think: shoulder blades together." ... HE'S HOW OLD?!? ... Conference Room screenings of A Chorus Line ... Going blind beading bracelets ... The straight left turn ... It's a Chrys-er - not to be confused with ChrysLer ... "It's a who?" ~ "It's a ho" ... "We are family!" ... So when's the next floor show? ... She's gonna put her two pussys for sale up on ebay ... Angela rubbing off on Vicki who's rubbing off on me ... Falling Divas ... "Memories... not a sound in my jail cell ... and my butt just got bailed out - cause my mommy is rich" ... I have a math equation for Ray: if Carole buys a gram of coke and splits it with three friends, how much is it costing you? ... "Awe! The puppy wants to play!" ... You know Vic, that red shed is looking better and better every day ... Gary: "Hey, we have a singing and dancing receptionist..." Me: "Um hello, you have TWO singing and dancing receptionists!" Gary: "Beamers doesn't count, Heather" ... I'm not as quiet as everyone thought, huh? ... ONE SINGULAR SENSATION! ... "Better?" ... "Yeeeeeeessss?" ... NEWSFLASH! She's dating Evan!!!! ... Exhibiting bumlike qualaties ... Do I have to dance on this desk to get you all to listen to me?? ... I'm going for All The Marbles! ... Hiding the chocolate and Vicki's rampage to find it ... THO: Titty Hard On ... I finally understand how all those people trying to get a hold of Ralph feel ... "I saw her again..." ... The Beach Police ... Dancing the Hot Honey Rag in an empty office ... The Cash Letter and Vicki's job ... I'm Tanika's lawyer - don't talk to her, you talk to me ... Quizzes on the office extensions ... What do you mean you don't know who called me? You're the RECEPTIONIST!" ... The TRUE dancer in Vicki comes out! ... Mr Mafia Man ... She's a biatch ... You're gonna be MY personal slave girl ... She got me a vibrator! ... Jumping the teller line for chocolate ... "Ba da bada bum bum! AGAIN!" ... Code words and passing notes ... Vicki, go to your desk ... If that's purple, than I'm a 36DD! ... The afternoon floorshow ... Now we've gotta wipe her ass too? ... Error: Smash head on keyboard to continue ... I never knew he had it in him! ... "Come on Vicki, put some back into it!" ... OMG, can I take Sebastian LeCause home? Puleeze? ... Quote me! Quote me! ... Did you ride the little yellow bus today? ... Son of a turd!! ... Excuse me scary man! ... Divasia ... The "gotta go" dance ... I feel the need for pee ... When is naptime? ... Hello Mr. Pretty ... The Pee -a ... Rum Tum Tugger is one curious cat! ... He was like, BOOBS! ... Damn, I guess I AM the only one the "Flaming Bitch of Broadway" likes! ... 3 roses?!?!?! ... Champagne in the dressing room ... Making me sing on command in the Shubert Wind Tunnel (coughROXcough) ... Roxane's impression of a turtle ... "Hmmm... The Flaming Bitch of Broadway, huh? I think I like that title!!!" ... Cynthia is SO quotable! ... I aim to please ... Slacker One and Slacker Two ... Mama Pawk! ... "All I care about is Rox... That's what she's here for!" ... Do as I say, not as I do ... The Stage Door Bitch Troll From Hell ... 40 year old stalkers ... JAILBAIT! ... I know I'm going to hell - I'll save you a seat! ... "I was fine until they started screaming, jumping and fainting in the aisles" ... The Concentration Camp which IS the teller line ... Distinct Flaming Bitch of Broadway, JR ... Carrasco JR ... The real live bonkey ... "That's a chick car... that is DEFINITELY a chick car!!!" ~ I know, let's go key it!!! ... Heh, Andy got lucky! ... She-la ... "What you lack in ass, you make up for in tits" ... Feather ... Hotter ... Jack and his viagra tie/pen ... She's a hoochie, but we love her ... The Roxane fan club from Ohio - god, I guess I have some competition tonight! ... "All bets are off - scream your ass off" ... Quotable ... WOO HOO YEAH ROX!!!! ... Donna Lynne and the Care Bears ... Bibi and "Denzel" ... Reinacting the Roxie Monologue with Bibi in Charlie O's ... Rob Bartlett and Michi press kits ... The Great Pawkinator Attack ... The "Woo Hoo! Yeah Rox!" Pillsbury Doughboy ... Mardi Gras Beads from DL ... Michele's contagious laughter ... Robio and Michi Press Kits ... CJR ... Woo-Yeah! ... The Lady Carrasco ... Chita-Fucking-Rivera! - It's all about the Chitaness! ... Flowers from DL ... Singing Chicago in the streets ... Rox and 'daaaahhhhling' ... Teaching Chicago choreography outside The Ambassador ... Upper West Side drag queens ... Shot Girl ... The new 'we never have to do another photoshoot again' Chicago Poster ... The Sugar Whore ... Random Roxie Monologues ... Chita magnet .. The Lady Carrasco saves the day in more ways than one!!! ... 4am talks with Bibi ... 100 reasons why you should never give Tracy, Roxane or Bibi mass amounts of sugar ... Big Loser with a Big L ... Roses with no stems ... Broadway Surprises ... Pitching a tent at the Shubert/Ambassador ... Lithium Roxie ... Hi, Loser! ... I love boys -- they're stupid! ... TheatreBeaver ... HoochMe ... Not For Sale -- Rent Only ... Milky Way ... Carolee Carmello = A solid stick of crack in a blonde wig ... "Will Work for CHICAGO for Food" ... "Michele won the Tony! Michele won the Tony!!!!" ... Stripping on a street corner to 'Let Me Entertain You' ... Being Sweeter than Bernadette ... Chicago comp tickets! ... Talking Aflac duck ... Rox telling people Im famous and to get my autograph ... Random tourists THINKING I'm famous and asking for my autograph and a picture ... Sending bootlegs to Equity Actress' families ... Bibi sending me to my room -- "Don't make me hit you with a flying shoe!!! Shezam!!!!" ... Should CHICAGO and GYPSY ever "accidentally" merge: (ala Me, Jemma and Jessica) "You gotta have a gimmick when you're good to Mama" "All I care about is Rose" "If Mama was married... he had it comin" "Everything's coming up Roses nowadays" "Razzle dazzle em, and they'll let me entertain you" "Baby June and her Newsboys: They BOTH reached for the gun!" "Caroline the Cow... and all that jazz" "I can't do it alone, Mr Goldstone" |