Peeps, this is the dark truth behind the Black Crowes.....
I stumbled across this Black Crowes conspiracy recently, when I lent J (JayB), the video of "Who killed that bird out on your window sill....the Movie".............it goes something like this.......
J asked me "Who did kill that bird?"......
"the Butler did it!", I replied, jokingly. But then, we uncovered the REAL conspiracy. One which has resulted in multiple deaths, sackings of band members, bad drug habits and family loyalties stretched to breaking point!!!!!
Suspect No.1........Jeff Cease.
Could Jeff (JC) be the one that killed the bird? He was sacked, because (according to RR) because, quote, "We couldn't trust him on stage!"
Could this mean, that having killed the bird, the other band members became afraid of JC because he started carrying a gun, to shoot any more birds that fly-by the stage, during open-air TBC gigs??????? Being called 'crowes', did this mean that the rest of the band had become legit targets?????
They fired his ass!!
Suspect No.2........Marc Ford.
In the above mentioned video, there is one scene, where MF is asked "Where did you get to last night?".....After a long pause, he replies...."I don't know!"
Could it be that he simply did not wish to incriminate himself??
Because the previous night, he killed the bird!!!!?????
Suspect No.3.........Rich Robinson.
Maybe he thought the bird was coming between himself and his bro Chris?? So he killed it!!!!!
The evidence of this evil crime is there, for all to see, in various BC lyrics!!!!
Black Moon creeping. What you got buried in your back yard?
This is obviously a reference to the disposal of the body.
Soul Singing. I traded my black feathers for a crown.
Where did he get them from??......The dead bird was PLUCKED by the murderer!!! And the feathers given to CR.
Feathers. The whole song is an obvious reference to the above plucking.......
Nebakanezzer. He had 29 Blackbirds, but only 1 flew......
Does this mean that the avian death toll is in fact, risen to 28.???
Remedy. Apart from the obvious line, could the remedy be needed, to supress the guilt of the crime???
Cypress Tree. So you found yourself a killer, the one with the blue eyes. WHO HAS BLUE EYES??????
This is the single-most piece of evidence, that points to RR. The singer has obviously known the killer since childhood. Who has CR known the longest in the band?????
A conspiracy......is obviously, a reference to the whole affair.
Lay it all on me.........this CR trying to offer the killer a friend to talk to.
allegedly..............
Any other theories on this conspiracy??????
Ronnie
__________________
Bollox!!!!!
From Black_Moon_Creeping, 14 Jan 2002
All this speculation is getting out of hand. Please, let someone with their finger on the collective pulse of all Crowes, current and past, set you straight. The news is as follows:
Steve Gorman is going to be playing drums and touring in costume as "Animal" for an upcoming Muppets album, with the rest of the band as follows:
Dr. John - "Dr. Teeth"
Jewel - What's-her-face the hippy chick
Skunk Baxter - the guitarist
Andy Hess - himself
Audley Freed - Gonzo
Chris and Kate are indeed doing the southern version of Sound of Music, transplanted to Mississippi in the civil rights movement era. They will be performing in blackface and singing music from Disney's banned "Song of the South". Marc Ford is co-starring as the wiley, guitar-slinging Br'er Rabbit.
Rich Robinson has re-united with Jeff Cease, and will be releasing a cover album of country versions of hits of the 80s. So far, Bananarama, New Edition, Animotion and El DeBarge have agreed to let him use their songs. Pete Townsend has signed on for production duties. It was postulated that he figured "What the hell, I'm deaf anyway" but then he has been heard talking (very loudly but in an odd flat, uninflected voice)about how excited he is to be working on "Chris Robinson's new project with the Police", so it's now suspected he just misheard what he was getting into.
Ed Harsch, speaking by subspace radio from the planet Vulcan, has announced plans to "get really stoned and see what happens." You'd think he'd know what happens by now, but I guess you can never be too sure.
Sven Pippien and Greg Rzab have confessed that their feelings for one another are deeper and warmer than those of ordinary friendship and are living happily in Chicago's "Boystown" neighborhood. They have formed a new house band at the Man Hole Club, with James Iha and Darcy (formerly Smashing Pumpkins) and my old drummer Ray Kick. Apparently they are packing them in (ahem) and the highlight of their show is their cover of Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom".
So ... now that this is all straightened out, can we put it to rest and BRING ON THE NEW MUD EARTH, BABY!!!!