Hate to Shop



  I hate grocery shopping with a passion. When I go to the store, I just want to throw a bunch of food into the cart and get the hell out of there. A typical man, I guess. My wife, of course is never in a hurry while shopping. I still remember the time I sat in the car for a good hour while she shopped. She went into a place called Rag Shop. The name alone is bound to send shivers of terror up a man's spine. I would have gone in with her into this exciting place, but I thought I would sleep more comfortably in the car instead. 


What happened at the end of this very long hour? Why, she came out of the store without purchasing anything!  Even if she had at least picked up a spool of thread it might have been worth the long wait. Thankfully, when she goes into the grocery store, she will leave the store with food, even though it might take three days of shopping. The reason it takes so long is because she is looking for sales. I realize in the long run this is the proper thing to do, but I just don't have the patience to compare prices on a can of tuna. I have seen my wife study not only the price of a can of something, but also the ingredients.  I have watched her reading ingredients like it was a novel. I'm almost expecting the novel to continue on the very next can... I have shopped by myself, but when I come home, my wife isn't too pleased, possibly because the bill is for $150 instead of the normal $100... I also might buy something like tuna in oil instead of tuna in water and she won't speak to me for a week.

The other thing I hate about grocery stores is that  more people are there to socialize than to buy food. I think they should set aside a room at every grocery store and have a sign in each aisle that says "No Talking Permitted. Please go to The Gossip Room". I remember countless times cursing under my breath while two old ladies block the aisle to discuss their hemorrhoids or some other vital issue. Nothing stands between me and a bag of potato chips. I've been very tempted to turn into a hockey player and check them into the shelves. Then again, they'd probably just get right back up and start complaining about their backs hurting...

I thank my wife for her dedication to the art of grocery shopping. She has probably saved us over five thousand dollars over the years. (Although I have probably spent five thousand hours in a grocery store to accomplish this... )


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