Alanna's Book Review Meters and Rating Systems...
To better understand how I judge a book (no, silly, not by its cover!)
I have set up my own system, in order for you to see how
good a book is, or is not!
Remember that these are only my opinions,
as it is my page!
(If you don't like it, set up your own page, and review your
own books! --Haha! :P )
So, without further ado,... here it
goes
Alanna's Gold Coins Rating System:
"$$$$$" --I give five Gold Coins for a really great book, a
"must read" !
"$$$$" --Four Gold Coins goes to a great book, one that deserves
(and probably gets) a lot of attention.
"$$$" --Three Gold Coins will go out to a book that
I feel should probably be read by everyone for a mind-opening, expanding
experience.
"$$" --I give two Gold Coins to a book that will keep you from being bored,
during the long, hot summers. Don't waste any sleep over a 2 Gold Coined
book, just your afternoons.
"$" --One Gold Coin for a book, means that it probably is
worth its weight in gold (one coin). Rent from the Library, or wait for
the paperback!
*If you ever see this in a review, remember that if I can spend the
time to read it, so could you! After all, reading is GOOD for you,
it builds character!
"Cry me a river"
Introducing...
The "Cry-O-Meter"
This rating system is judged in how many tissues, or boxes of tissues
you will need to get through the book! This would be based, of course
on whether the book makes you sniffle a bit at the end, or whether you
are bawling the whole time!
The meter uses up-turned noses,
( ^ ) to get its point across.
" ^^^^^ " --Five Tissues: A real Tear Jerker. Loud crying,
lots of sobbing here without much comic relief. You may go through a
couple boxes of tissues.
If this one doesn't
move you, you are made of stone, and should become a prison guard!
After reading a Five Tissue Book on the Cry-O-Meter, you may want to
call in sick to work. You're nose will be rudolf-red, your eyes akin
to marshmallows. You may sound like you just lost your best friend, so
take advantage of it, your boss may believe your little white lie! ha!
" ^^^^ " --Four Tissues: Don't make plans until after this one is read.
You may need to sleep it off! Stock up on tissues beforehand! Again, a
whole lot of sobbing going on here. Keep your message machine on, to avoid
the explanations over the phone as to why you are crying!
" ^^^ " --Three Tissues: Read it at home, because reading this one in
the park may cause people to throw money at you. You may look like you
just lost your cat, and people may feel sorry for you. Three tissues on
the Cry-O-Meter may cause you to cry silently, with your lips pursed and jaws
tense.
" ^^ " --Two Tissues: Some sad, moving parts, but relatively safe. If you
tear up a bit, one or two tissues would cover it. Wearing mascara with this
one would be safe!
" ^ " --One Tissue: Easy! You may have to claim that old line "I got somethin'
in my eye", and you'd be able to pull it off! Remember that sometimes laughing
can make you cry, if you laugh hard enough! A book that receives a One-Tissue
rating on the Cry-O-Meter could be read anywhere, in front of anyone without any
emotional embarrassment whatsoever!
© 1998 hypfox@oocities.com
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