December 30, 2006
this will probably be the last post of 2006. TWO THOUSAND SIX!!! gawd. And how much has mar changed? not by much!!!! just kidding! muchos changes. even more than last year. yayayay for growth!

anyhooo.... shopping at ruehl with erik was BA-DA-BING, CHA-CHING!!! yay. finally got some stuffy stuff to indulge my label-infatuation. then thursday night we wore our new duds to asian night at DnBs! woo hoo! how SAD.... how weaksauce we've become!!! what happened to our livers?!?! sad sad sad. but the adventure afterwards was a BLAST!!!!

Cut to erik and I running back and forth across the el cajon blvd overpass trying to take pictures of the christmas lights. then to la posta to get our grub on with a crazy jesus freak. funny times man, fun-E times. i'd post pictures, but i'm not smart enough to put my camera on night-mode when i take pictures at night. dur.

christmas was great. great presents, great people... the only thing missing was the little girls from japan. i miss my nieces. =(

anyhoo... hope you had a merry holiday... and soon to be HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! be safe. enjoy. BE SAFE.


December 18, 2006
a lot of hashing it out later, and i don't really know what the end result is. The point is, nothing will changed unless he addresses otherwise. Ignorance on my part is bliss. I just so happened to stumble upon something i would rather not have. erik says to just let it be. and if things go sour, then the fault is his, as well as the heartbreak.

so i'm letting it be. I'm gonna try to forget that i found what i've found, and just pretend that things are the same old same old. well... i guess we'll see what happens. i'm not looking forward to the outcome, cuz i know that in the end, someone's getting really hurt. =( boo hoo. sad face forever.

did i ever do my shpiel about tardiness? cuz really... that IRKS. i know i've had my moments, but at least i always have the decency to notify the person that i'll be late. YARGH!!!

been hangin with a few people that i really know i should not be so friendly with... my loose ball and chain allows it... but i know that i'm really taking advantage. ugh. stupid slutty mar. anyhoo... in honor of my commitment, i think i'll lay off of the food-runs and late nights with friends of the opposite sex. my single-ness is a-creepin and i don't like the feeling.


December 17, 2006
there are some songs that just get under my skin and have a huge effect on my mood. not necessarily in a bad way.... it's actually a great thing to have.

one being: "Home" by Michael Buble. I hear it, and it makes me melt. This song actually makes me feel all the love around me. If i'm having a shit day, i just need to hear the song once and everything bad goes away. Then again... it makes me miss the one i love (who, by chance is living far, far away). And missing hurts as much as loving. =P

Then the other... "Sexy Love" by Ne-Yo. (actually.. it's usually his voice that really gets me). And it gives me that feeling of new-ness. of POSSIBILITIES. and that my next great love or accomplishment is waiting for me around the next corner, ready to sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere I would have never pictured myself. But somewhere greater, ofcourse.

and regardless of what the song is ACTUALLY about... it just makes me feel otherwise. could be the voice, it could be the melody... but it's definitely something. and i LOVE IT.

on y way to compile a playlist... as soon as i have time away from work, from shopping, and saying goodbye to everyone leaving me.

p.s. "Kiss Me" just started playing... and now i feel like i'm back in high school... the good parts, ofcourse.


December 16, 2006
it's funny to read back to this date exactly a year ago, and to see that i'm still in the same situation that i was. NOTHING much has changed. good and bad, si? still having the same conundrum with China (story to follow), and tonight i see Dookie. just like last December. except without erik to get drunk with. BOO.

anyhoo... had a date with China on Wednesday. it was one of our usual dates... nice dinner, a walk, talk, bla bla bla. but holy crap, that boy looks SO GOOD. he's lost weight, he's been working out, and it hella shows. if i didn't have a boyfriend, i would have ravaged him. he's so hot. yargh. but it took a lot of self control not to let anything happen. which shows me how NOT READY i really am for the type of commitment that i've committed myself to.

and p.s. it's nice to get compliments from Charger players. boosts the self esteem =)

in any case, there's a lot of shuffling around going on in mission valley. we'll see where i end up. hopefully somewhere in arizona. but i highly doubt it after the whole China thing.

i asked brian for a digital camera for christmas. no, we're not getting back together. but sometimes i think that it might be in both of our best interests not to be so involved. but we just can't stay away from each other.

i dont know. YOU try to explain it. it's weird.


December 11, 2006
sounds disgusting, but i can actually smell the stench of eggnog on the bottom of my shoes. GROSS. that has to be the most disgusting thing touching the floor right now. (in my immediate vicinity, anyway)

anyhoo... tomorrow there are plans a-brewin to meet up with China for happy hour (appetizers for me, drinks for him!) he's leavin for another town, so it would really be nice to see him one last time before he leaves. ONE. LAST. TIME. sounds scary, eh? not like he's going to Iraq... nothing like that. just to a different port. with looser women... or something along those lines. it's weird for me to do this. but i'm actually looking forward to it. as much as i don't want to... i almost kinda miss the guy.

last night i got that "belle of the ball" kinda feeling. it was nice. =)


December 9, 2006
So.... i've been thinking of New Year's Resolutions for 2007. And you know what i figured? New year or not... resolutions need to be an ongoing thing. But here's what I've come up with anyway.

* Move out by MARCH. with a job. with a place to live.
* Maintain weight and skin (yay for routine!)
* Be better about taking pills/vitamins/medication (aka stop forgetting!!)
* Stay in good standing with all accounts
* Pay off both Macys accounts (and not charge them back up)

I'd think of more... but in all honesty... i'm pretty happy and content with the way things are in life. which is a good thing, right?

so in other news:::: guess who's back? and is now a "video game tester"?!?!! hahahahhahah! i'll let you sit on that a while. and then i've got stories to tell you.