January 30, 2005
i dont know how you sickly types do it. get sick constantly and have to go to the doctor and get check ups and get blood drained from your body. UGH.

so. i was sick for a whole week. i dont think i even had chickenpox for that long. HOLY CRAP that was an ordeal. it started out with an innocent fever. one that i thought i'd be able to shake after a day of orange juice and walking around. NOPE. not only did this fever cause me to go home early from work, it kept me in bed for a good 72 hours. it was at 102.8 for a good 24 hours before it finally came down to 101.8. So on top of my fever, my neck was stiff, my lymph nodes were swollen and i couldn't keep anything but water and Hi-C down long enough for it to be digested.

so i finally went to the ER. hey, i'm payin for insurance, might as well use it, right? 4 hours in the waiting room and they finally call me in, get me down to my skivvies and start pokin holes in me. first i had to pee in a cup. then they took 6 vials of blood from my right arm (after they found out that my blood pressure is extremely LOW), and stuck an IV in my left arm. a few detailed questions later, they told me i needed a spinal tap then drugged me. a heavy dosage of pain killers, an anti-nausea medicine, and somethin else was injected into my IV and within seconds, i had the decision-making abilities of a 5-year-old. and ofcourse, this would be the time they choose to make me sign 3 papters, none of which i remember, or received copies of.

so for a while, i'm in and out of consciousness. one time i woke up and i was being wheeled to a different room. WHEELED in my bed, like i was a quadraplegic. i was taken to a very cold room, with a huge machine, later which i figured to be a catscanner. so yeah. i guess they had to check for brain damage? (dont ask)

the worst was the second time i woke up. the doctor was on the right sight, and an orderly on the left. i was told to go into the fetal position, because at this point, the doctor would be sticking a large needle into my spine to collect spinal fluid. EXCUSE ME?!?! yeah. try to imagine it, and i guarantee that it's REALLY THAT PAINFUL.

the third time i awoke i thought that i had gone through it all and there was nothing else that would surprise me. well... SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! they had to collect my urine via catheter. now, for all you people that dont know what this process entails, let me enlighten you... this is done by sticking a large, cold q-tip lookin thing up my vagina, then taking a tube about the size of 2 large paper clips and sticking it into my urethra(/clitoris) and then sucking out urine. ooh. GLAMOROUS, isn't it? and yes, mighty painful. the vagina part wasnt so bad, but the urethra.... OUCH!

a few hours later i was released with a prescription for vicadin for the pain in my neck. they couldnt figure out what was wrong with me, just that i had a virus that a little bedrest and fluids would take care of. but... NO CAFFEINE FOR A WEEK! great. my life is complete.

a couple of days later, i thought i was fine. so i go to work, everything is okay... then the migraine starts. ooh. if you've never had a migraine, go and try this: lay down in your driveway and have someone run over your head with a car, then take a large rubber band, tie it around your head so that no blood can circulate, and have someone tape your eyelids open, afterwards, take an extremely bright light and shine it into your eyes for a good amount of time, or until you pass out. that is what a migraine feels like. my migraines make me vomit uncontrollably. so i clocked out and went to my car. couldn't drive, so i had to call my parents to pick me and my car up from work.

you'd think that it was a one-day kinda thing, right? NOPE! the next day i felt fine. so i went back to work. and lo and behold, here comes the migraine train! halfway into my shift i was curled into a little ball in the corner of my counter trying to protect myself from the light. i think i scared the begeezus out of everyone that worked that day because i had quite a few bags of barf lying around the counter. ooh! yummy!

two days of bed rest later, i finally went to my primary care physician. she prescribed me some migraine medicine, some antibiotics to get rid of an apparent ear infection that i had, and sent me on my way.

wow. i became a pill popper just like that. aint life wonderful?


January 19, 2005
it's times like these that i wonder what i'm supposed to be doing. i often complain that i lag and i'm supposed to be more grown up and bla bla bla bla bla. you've heard it. and i've screamed it. and to be frank, i'm tired of it too.

today i considered quitting and applying as a waitress at applebees and working at starbucks. nothing wrong with that. especially with the large population of today's youth doing the exact same thing. when i caught myself thinking that, it was immediately followed by a self-slap on the wrist to stop thinking like that. because i need to find an ADULT job. one that can carry me through my mid-life crisis and buy me a house and support my kids with.

then i got to thinking... DUDE. i'm only 23. i need to enjoy my twenties while i still can. because we all know how far all my hard work in high school got me right? (uh hur, sarcasm) so why NOT enjoy it? i should. and hell... a waitress makes more than me in a week than what i make in a month.

so lets just see where this gets me, shall we? i need to think up a quitting date. that way... i know how to budget =)

oh yes. and a quick recap: "Sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs" is a good read if you're into blogs and whiney white guys obsessed with pop culture. the "Body Worlds" exhibit at the California Science Center is good... but i still think working hands on is more educational... but at least the exhibit doesnt have as much of a squeemish factor than the hands on does. tonight the plan is to hang out with the starbucks crew and get completely wasted before work tomorrow morning at buttcrack daybreak. and lastly... school starts in full swing on monday. and guess where i'll be at? home. sleeping. and trying to remember better days when i got butterflies for the first day of class.


January 16, 2005
Dear jeR...
how ya doin old buddy ol pal? so i hear you're finally goin to long beach. i'm PROUD of ya! it's been a journey. and from the looks of things, you have nothing to regret of this detour. i'm just glad you're on your way to where you really want to be. because even though you're that tortured artist, you're still wunna the biggest geeks i know. that brain of yours can do wonders. in any case... to make this short and sweet... i know you're not gonna forget where you're from. and i know that you're not one to look back... but just as a reminder.. i still have your monkey hat productions dvd. SUCKA! you gotta look back for it now! j/k. have fun on your new path. blaze on buddy. =) there's a lotta stuff out there to experience. but remember.... STUDY hard!

your inverted caps math buddy fo life, maR


January 15, 2005
i've been trying to downsize my cds in my car. but it's kinda tough. cuz i know that as soon as i put a cd away, i'm gonna wanna hear it again. anyhoo.. i was thinking... i'm a track-skipper. i like mix cds because i get to listen to a cd without having to press the "skip" button. and i LOVE these CDs because i NEVER have to skip a track. (cuz i love each one! hooray)

No Doubt: Return of Saturn
Yellowcard: Ocean Avenue
TLC: Crazy Sexy Cool
Blink 182: Take off your pants and Jacket
Hoobastank: The Reason
Dashboard Confessional: Unplugged /// and /// A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
Queen: Best of Queen
New Found Glory: Sticks and Stones
Weezer: Blue Album /// and /// Green Album /// and /// Maladroit
Something Corporate: Leaving through the window
Sugarcult: Start Static
Midtown: Living well is the best revenge
Boyz II Men: II
Devotion: self titled
All American Rejects: self titled
Various: Aladdin soundtrack
Unwritten Law: Unplugged

i have a lot of other favorites, but there's always a couple of tracks that i have to skip (e.g. the American Pie soundtrack and Aerosmith's Big Ones) but who cares cuz no one's lookin anyway. impaired, my vision lost it yesterday.


January 12, 2005
So i'm watching an episode of Sex and the City. It's the episode when Carrie gets proposed to . the pear shaped solitaire set in gold. the girls said it best when they replied with an "ick!" Unique, yes. Vintage, yes. and if it was an heirloom, then more power to yah. but really... no. that just wouldnt work.

for the record... and as picky, superficial, and hoity toity as it sounds... i dont exactly want to settle for less than what i deserve in a ring. So here goes... i would like a rount cut solitaire (2ct minimum but not offensively large) perfect cut diamond set in platinum with my fiance/husband and I's birthstones set on the inside rim of the band and a heartfelt inscription. and p.s. the fact that i'm even thinking about this is making me feel queasy.

in any case, you know me and i know me. I've always been the girlfriend type. and i'm the family type. and the marrying type. the suburban living type. just not right now. i guess we'll see. and if anything... in 5 years, me and Ronnie can get hitched. =P


January 8, 2005
i've never liked the rain. the gloom and doom that it brings. the lack of sunlight... or any light, for that matter. the cold. the harsh, bitter wind. and the impending accidents and slow migration of cars along the roadways. january and february aren't months i look forward to for that reason.

but lately it hasnt been that bad. the rain in all it's glory has poured and thundered and wreaked havoc on san diego. roads are closed. the malls are flooded. and it takes an extra half hour to get anywhere. sunlight is somewhat of a rarity, even in America's finest city.

usually, i would HATE it. i would be crabby and want to stay indoors until it went away. but this season... for some strange reason, has been a welcome change. dont ask why, because i wouldnt be able to explain it. but despite all of the inconveniences and the cold and my thirsty skin, this year i've embraced it. we finally have somewhat of a real winter. and maybe that's the case. i dont know.

maybe i've just become a more positive person. hmm. but i'm not complaining.


January 5, 2005
in spite of my best efforts, i CRACKED. sorry. but the Vickies sale is too good to miss. and i got a good supply of undies so i dont go overboard the next time. (but you know me)

everything else is good though. but let's just see how long i last with my goals in mind. =P hopefully i'll get at least through june. if not the whole year. =P

oh well. here's to hopin. (ooh. p.s. what's this i'm hearin about jager bein too strong? i dont think so)


January 1, 2005
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful turn of the year. Havent heard any bad news, and hopefully i wont receive any at all. It's been a great... frustrating... but great 2004. so let's just hope for an even better year this time around. you can never improve too much, right?

so... this year i decided on GOALS, not resolutions. which is more forward thinking than having to think back this past year and think of what i have to change and improve and blah blah blah. moving FORWARD is the key this year. so among my goals... here are just a few.

*get back in shape. being fat just isnt working for me.
*find a grad school program and try to enroll
*quit robinsons may and find a real job
*get rid of at least half of my credit card debt
*keep my room and car clean and happy (or at least less cluttered)
*drink more water
*train my internal clock on a more regular schedule
*party more
*shop less (last year i was able to shop SMARTER, so this time it will be LESS!)
*transfer accounts into better standing ones
*call friends
*learn how to cook... or at least how to bake
*learn how to knit or crochet (thanks jazzy!)

i have a longer list. but for now we'll stick to baby steps. i have my whole life ahead of me... but i'm not getting any younger. (yesterday i realized i'll be 24 this year. YIKES!)