March 31, 2003
whoever said "third time's a charm" obviously didnt take statistics. it's a game of odds and chance. but whatever. lil sis #3 just de-pledged on me. but whatever. i was already expecting it. lack of phone calls, emails, and just general interest in the group. sorority life's not for everyone. and apparently, those seem to be attracted to me as their big sis. oh well. you win some, you lose some. im thinking that this is bad karma cuz i thought of de-pledging so often. but whatever. i had the heart for it. and my sisters were ubersupportive.
anyhow, im on spring break. but it's still monday night and no one else is on break. damn. whatever. me, khris (best buddy at work) n bri hung out at the beach yesterday. its been a while. damn my legs are white. but it was fun. frolicking in the water. (it was CLEAN... cuz we went to a secret beach... and there was less than a hundred people there in the middle of a sunday afternoon during BEAUTIFUL beach weather.) it's where me n bri fell asleep together for the first time. the water is clean. the beach is relatively empty. ample parking. beautiful surroundings. and enough eateries to get us thru the day. but it was fun. i got a tad tanner. it's a start... me n bri are plannin to be beach bums this summer.
bah. okay. i gotta get back to reading Freud's biography. ONLY 650 pages left! im excited. ive been reading every free minute that i have. i just wanna get it over with already. but its coo... it's interesting reading. the author chose a novel style of writing. i dont mind if the details are inaccurate. it makes the content easier to take. otherwise... bleh. it's kinda hard to make the life of a med-student turned research assistant turned psychiatrist turned psychologist interesting. but the book was well written. i like it. actually ENJOY reading it (but im a science geek so nevermind).
well anyway, my archaic computer is beckoning me to shut down now. back to 19th century germany for me! YEY!
03.27.03.span.lab.again.
one exam and im FREE!!! didnt do so hot on my abnormal exam, but whuuuteva. we'll see what happens next week. i dont wanna think about it during break. i just wanna work. and get my shit done. and prep for VEEEGAS. which means i gotta get some rest. get my boss to work with my schedule. and see what happens from there. yippee! im excited.
despues, regresar en escuela... we gots SIX WEEKS of classes left before summer break. WOO HOO! you just dont understand how ecstatic i am. yes, mother effer... ITS ALMOST SUMMER! time to get my gorda ass in shape and my blanca legs tan.
(p.s. sorry for the spanglish. if you couldnt tell, i use this journal to kinda apply what ive been learning. ... if you read back on a lot of posts, there are a lot of psych notes encrypted in the text. sorry. im a neeeerd.)
03.27.03.in.lab.
im in the spanish lab. but ive taken a quick break to make a post. haha. my instructor grades on time, so now im just killin some.
well anyway, i was browsin around... just killin time.. and started thinking. (k. set yourself up for disappointment, cuz if you knew me better, then you'd know that i like to drift off into superficial-land every once in a while). but guys that have a sense of style are H-O-T-T HOTT! could be anything. as long as they know how to pull it all together. because, lets face it... there are muchos wannabes out there (specially in so cal/sd) that have muy fea ropas because they have no idea how to put it all together. but anyway... its nice to see that some guys know how to match... and not just colors. because color matching is easy... but style... thats a whole nother thing.
i should probably study for my exam that's in 20 minutes. but damnit.. i gotta pee. and im hungry. cant go takin exams on an empty stomach now, can i?
March 27, 2003
i never got any of my papers done. i was hoping to type them up this morning, but i got home late this morning, so i slept in. so i was late for my 930 exam. its okay. i still finished before half of the class... not really confident on how i did, but i should have at least passed. passing would be really good considering i was half an hour late and i dont have the book and i missed 2 weeks of class. whatever. we'll see, right?
i still have 2 exams. im gonna ask my professors for extensions on those papers. if not, then hell... we'll see. guess im not gettin that 4.0 i hoped for this semester. but im at least shooting for a 3.0. big diff. but whatever. maybe it will be good enough to get me into a mediocre MSI/O grad program. sorry mar. no med school for you. =(
k. time to get coffee. im beat. i cant wait til tonight. SPRING BREAK! woop woop. me n bri are bakin cookies tonight. hahaha. we burnt em the other night. so we're makin a second attempt.
March 26, 2003
damnit erik, i SWEAR it was green. it was it was it was! grr. maybe it was the computer i was on. or you probably changed it. YOU DID HUH! you're like a chameleon. changin your colors on me. dorko.
anyway, i have papers to write. and books to read. i dont have time to argue with you about what color your middle table is. why are we always arguing about COLORS? remember that one time when we were arguing about that damn AE shirt that you wanted? it was BLUE by the way. not gray. what is this obsession you have about gray? hmm. (speaking of gray, DONT watch that new steven king movie... dreamcatcher or whatever)
no really. i have to study. ill let yalls know after my spanish exam how everything went. cuz that's my SPRING BREAK! woohoo! 2 exams down. 2 quizzes down. 4 papers and 3 exams to go. wish me luck!
March 24, 2003
there really ISNT enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished. oh well. at least im clear for VEGAS. a vacation i seriously NEED. somethin bri&mar need. we've both been pullin 40+ hours per week at work. plus school. we're both burned out. and really need a vacation to just chill and not have to worry about anything. cant wait!
in other news... sorry if you dont hear from me in a while. my exams are gonna be harder than i thought. i just took a quick peek at the material i need to know for this week... and it's not a pretty sight. i have a LOT of catching up to do.
but at least Freud's biography is well-written. makes it a lot easier to down a good thousand pages. OY! shoot me.
ive had this unbearable headache for the past 3 days. and no sign of it disappearing.
oh well. maybe i just have gas.
03.20.03.sooo.
so i fell asleep in my abnormal class. i guess i was tossin n turnin a little too much... cuz my TA came up behind me, rubbed my back and asked if i was feeling okay. griefus. all i could say was "oh. sorry. i just havent had my coffee today."
in other news:: depending on how long you've been reading this site, you may hear a dabble here and there about erik. you oughtta see his page right now. and go to my REALLY REALLY REALLY old archives. like from 3 years ago. when i often joked of his resemblance of a mexican. (when he was bald, he looked mexican... and his name being erik andrade and all... you get the gist). haha. his central colors are red, green, n white. haha. how appropriate. okay. shut up. well i thought it was funny.
p.s. i think i have a bipolar disorder. no seriously. i think im gonna have my abnormal professor look over my journal. he might agree. but whatever. i can still function in society. and as long as i have that, then im coo.
oh yeh. just found out that i have 5 exams next week. stats lab & neuropsych on tuesday. abnormal, spanish, and I&C dvmp on thursday. doesnt that sound like fun? on top of that, im still behind 3 papers, and just got another one added today. YIPEEE!! haha. i emailed my I&C prof for approval on a book review... he replied with "i approve. but it's a long book. plan on doing a lot of reading." fun fun fun! my life just keeps getting better and better.
03.20.03.open.your.eyes.and.you'll.see.beyond.the.obvious
i figured it out. ive been feeling so resentful lately because the one factor that i could always depend on, the one factor that i thought would always be there, to be the most supportive... turns out to be the least. the opposite was true. and all those times were fleeting. simply moments that ran together. and now that it's gone, ive taken the characteristic of that one factor and applied it to the whole. when it's not the whole that i resent. because in reality, the whole is what keeps me there. and i didnt realize that until today. i thought i was keeping myself in this close-knit relationship by clinging ever so hard to this one string. but that's not necessary. because even if i let go, there are still an abundance of threads to keep me knit. to keep me as a part of the whole.
ahhh. that's a big weight lifted off of my shoulders. now i can focus. my brother was right all along. i DONT need to be stressin about this. because my situation is understandable. and just because one refuses to understand, i shouldnt take it out on everyone. because the rest do. and if one refuses, then i need to learn to get over it, and hopefully they do the same.
no more of these bottom up processes. i need to start processing top-down. i think thinking bottom up was making me a little insane. time to apply.
March 20, 2003
figured out why my life is in the crapper... along with my credit, my money, and the relationships ive tried to build on my entire life...
cuz i dont know how to set my priorities straight. take THIS for example. im supposed to be in lecture right now. i was supposed to only be 15 minutes late so i could type up my papers. BUT. lecture is over in 15 minutes. and im online trying to catch up on blogs.
fuck me. i have 5 exams coming up. and what do i do? TRY TO CATCH UP ON READING. smart. reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallyyyyy smart.
March 19, 2003
there's a will santos clone walking around the sdsu campus. hmm. makes me wonder. damn. if he'd just put his site back up, id probably be a blogger nerd again.
speaking of which... a betaomegaphi pledge brother informed me the other day that there are 25 alphaphigamma sisters with zanga sites. meaning.. there are other sisters just as addicted to blogging as i am. but there are only 2 from my chapter. and guess who hasnt found their zanga sites yet. yeap. cuz i have SOOO much time on my hands right?
speaking of which... i finally looked thru my syllabus for my 331 class. because my prof mentioned that book reviews are due soon (april 10th... day before VEGAS!!! ... and brimar 5month). so i checked out two books today... hmm. didnt think that i would have THAT large of a reading load. yeah. basically... i have 2500 pages to read, review, summarize, and write a paper on. FUCK ME. like i dont have enough shit to read. looks like ill be reading thru my entire spring break. damnit. its okay. whatever. i need to feed my brain anyway.
i also need to go get an fMRI done. because i have a very strong belief that there is something seriously wrong with my inferior temporal lobe. no really. because the rest of my brain functions normally. but the functions from that area... not so good. i think i have a serious problem. and it needs to be dealt with before any more damage occurs. crap. oh well. at least i recognize it early. that's good right?
okay. my brain is fried. ive been reading psych articles all day and i still have a few more to go. then type up papers for them. shit. all due tomorrow at 9:30am. no more procrastinating for mar. (p.s. someone remind me that i have an overdue book). 5 exams next thursday. i have a week to study. then the rest of that week after exams to read 2500 pages. CRAP. time management is such a bitch.
and it's greek week. my favorite week of the semester. and i cant even participate in any of the activities. =( mar is sad. can someone help her please?
its k. im trying to stay optimistic for the summer. when summer time rolls around, i should be okay.
sorry. im trying to distract myself from what's going on in our world. ive been bombarded with so many different opinions within the past 48 hours. liberal. conservative. prowar. antiwar. empathetic. apathetic. (you may hold strong to your viewpoints... but as a libra, it's hard) i just got really upset while i was listening to roger hedgecock. and i found out one of my childhood friends left on a flight this morning for kuwait (he's a marine. meaning he's first into battle). he left me a message on my voicemail saying goodbye. i just wish i could have done the same.
living in san diego... it's hard not to know someone... or love someone... or be close to someone in the military. it's pretty devastating. just keep them in your prayers. for a safe arrival. and for the innocent to stay out of harms way (even tho it's virtually impossible). all we can do now is PRAY. regardless of religion. everyone has a god that they believe in, right? so pray to Him.
ack. okay. time to distract myself. i have to email my prof. gnite yalls.
03.18.03.up.all.hope.
ive been in this damn chair for the past two hours. getting absolutely JACK SHIT done. been looking up hotel rates for vegas. and that pretty much sums up my whole two hours. so at this point, ive given up all hope of getting anything done today. screw it. it's my day off. but its already 1pm. and my mashed potatoes are gonna go bad soon. and i still need to get some coffee for my hike across campus so i wont fall asleep in my abnormal class. oy vey. i had intentions of going to all my classes today. guess its not gonna happen. whatever.
see that lazy sack of shit in the corner? you can label it "mar" from now on. cuz that's what ive been for the past couple of weeks.
well actually... i dont know. i think i just need to feed my personality a bit. i think im becoming extremely socially inept. my life as of now consists of class (psych classes. so my human contact only deals with people with psychological problems), starbucks (caffeine-dependent people who havent had their coffee yet), work (ASSHOLE customers and dipshit management), and brian (afraid we've fallen in the couple LULL... of routine and married life). im afraid my quest for success has left me void of having any sort of personality. i think i just need some FREE TIME. but knowing me...ill end up on a computer somewhere being antisocial. or at a starbucks studying. because knowing me, i will make no attempt whatsoever to contact friends.
damnit. i gotta get the fuck out of this hole.
March 18, 2003
i dont like how this mouse doesnt have the scroll button in the center. makes me use the keyboard to scroll up n down on the screen. stupid primitive mouse.
anyway... HI JESS. long time no chat. sorry i havent been on aim. chattin with you was interesting. wish we could catch up. feel free to call me anytime. hope everything is well. good luck on your finals.
brian's best friend is comin back home. as in.. he's moving back to san diego. i dont know how i should feel. i should be happy because mike's a cool guy. he's fun to hang out with. but i know that time with bri is gonna have to be sacrificed or compremised. i CANT be the girl that gets between best friends. i REFUSE to be that girl. what me and brian have is worth fighting for, but not for the price of him and his best friend resenting me for it. we dont get enough time together as it is (cuz we both work full time n we're both carrying full loads at school). so i dont know exactly how it's gonna work out. but knowing the three of us... it's gonna work out well. im being optimistic about the whole thing. cuz he really does need someone other than me to turn to. at least i have my sisters. but anyway...
enough of that. im just getting paranoid because for the past week, all ive seen is breakups. EVERYWHERE. i cant escape it. at work. at school. in the fucking FOOD COURT. it's like everyone all of a sudden is having drama within their relationships and choose to display their anger in public... around me. khris has been trying to spook me lately about me n bri's relationship. only cuz the other day, my horoscope said something along the lines of "it's time to move out of a relationship and start finding your own path." and with all these breakups happening around me, i just a weeeee bit paranoid. i know i have nothing to be paranoid about. i shouldnt even feel what im feeling. bah. but im PMSing. so i cant really say much.
speaking of which... ive gained 3 inches around my waist in the past 3 months. someone needs to get me to the gym PRONTO. im gettin so fat its not even funny. haha... but in vanessa's words... "it's happy fat."
March 15, 2003
sorry i didnt get to post on thursday night. it's been... um... interesting. i was studying thru both of my breaks. and it PAID OFF. cuz i did super well on my stats exam. the exam that scares the shit outta me. but i did good. and that's what matters. you should be very proud of me.
'sides.. that was jerry (the athlete foot's manager)'s last night in san diego. (he's leavin to go manage the store at THE BLOCK. big promotion. so we (his kids at the athletes foot... me, vanessa, mae, n bri... cuz im jerry's little errand girl. he pays me with coffee and food. haha) so we took him out to dinner after school/work at hooters (he's a real PIG). so he could oggle the waitresses. afterwards, we hit up a bar next door to cheetahs (cuz they know mae there and dont card) to get a little drunk. midnight rolls around and we ask jerry what he wants to do... and we end up at CHEETAHS. my first time. it was interesting. and i got a LAP DANCE. from some chick that i think is in one of my classes. i liked her. she was nice. we got bri a lap dance from some SKANKY broad. (jerry thought she was pretty and didnt bother to consult me or vanessa whether bri would like her or not. if it was up to me, i woulda got him the hot blonde that jerry got a dance from). but jerry got the skanky asian girl. bri was PISSED. cuz she couldnt dance. and the whole time that she was tryin to get him aroused, she was tryin to get some sympathy cuz she "had" to work there every night. i was pissed cuz she was tryin to get sympathy from him. and she looked like she carried a little too many STDs. glad he was wearin his work khakis. (p.s. he has new khakis for work now) it was an interesting night. (you shoulda been there erik. then you could reminisce about that "so i have a GIRLfriend" post a few months back) jerry was FUCKED up. so we called it a night after cheetahs. n dropped jerry off. gave him the appropriate goodbyes. and we were off.
and that was that. that's why i didnt post. may not sound fun reading it. i guess you just had to be there.
k. that's it. its saturday night. i really shouldnt be online. but its okay. im just waiting for bri to come over so we can start our night.
03.11.03.oops.
oops. i lied. i didnt get a chance to post on blogspot. but i will before thursday. i promise. cuz the stupid lab computers are all MACS. and didnt have explorer. so i was on shitty ass navigator. blah. i hate navigator. and if you view my page thru navigator, you must hate it too. eep!
k. that's all. my sweetie is waitin for me in the next cubicle.
03.11.03.so.im.in.lecture.
i should really be listening to whats going on. cuz we're playing a team game for exam points. but. ah. no motivation. could care less about the lab. it's only one unit. not gonna make a significant impact on my GPA. bleh. but that's the wrong attitude to have, isnt it? haha. whatever. OOH! k. here's one story that i owe you.
so i was sitting in the RBR. and th guy to my left was sitting at a table adjacent to a table with some asian-greeks (lay mens terms:: frat boys and sorority chicks that are asian--- err... my sisters n some RHOdogs). ofcourse they're talking-- but mind you it's academic talk. and it was at a very acceptable volume... the polite library volume. apparently, it was too loud for him. so he gets up and moves to the table to my right. asks the chick sitting there "do you mind if i sit here? those people are talking too much." sh replies with a "sure. i hate when people do that. it's so distracting." and they proceed to have a conversation. a LOUD conversation. in their native language. 2 strangers. i swear. he just wanted to pick her up. SMOOOOOOTH. but still. what a hypocritical asshole. haha. its been somewhere around 15 minutes. it's NONSTOP! the table to their right has been trying to SHHH them. haha. that's funny. k. i have to get back to my stats. TOODLES!
those two fucks kept talking for the next hour and a half. never got around to studying. and they left together. *cue porno music*
k. there's a blogspot. post waitin for ya. the one i promised you about a month ago.
March 11, 2003
damn. i bitch and moan like a mothereffer. then i sit and do nothing and everything gets worse. what a TARD. but whatever. anyway... i skipped my 930 with the intentions of going to the lab and doing my lab assignment for my 1100. and i still havent STARTED. i was supposed to be on campus by 8am. got here at 10am with a killer kink in my neck from trying to get a lil more sleep in an awkward position. what a LOSER! (but brian says im not a loser... i just need to get back on track. and i know he's right. but thinking that im a loser just gives me an excuse to act like one)
speaking of which... it's our 4 MONTHAVERSARY! yey us! hmmm... trying to think if we got into any fights within the past month.... hmm.... NOPE! although there WAS that incident at mardi gras when we raised our voices because we were so frustrated that you couldnt get alcohol without waiting in line for 2 hours and the FREE BARS were chargin to get in and it was POURING out and we basically WASTED $40 that night on JACK SHIT. but by the end of the night, we were huggin n kissin like it never happened. happy ending. =) as always.
by the way, i've given up all hope of going somewhere decent for grad school. i had a talk with my parents yesterday about it. THEY came to the conclusion that it was either UCSD or out east to live with my older brother. UGH. im too old to be dealin with this shit.
March 9, 2003
i have a few stories for yalls. but second round of exams is creepin up my ass. so it'll have to wait. dont worry. they're tucked safely in my notes. a nice distraction when i go back to study. haha. anyway. yeah. you'll hear em. i think they're funny.
friday night christian was spinnin at E st. alley. BIG jump from spinnin at PURE. pure is superlame. but yeah. i havent drank in a while. i got pretty fucked up. holy shit. all i remember is dancin the night away. oh man. i bet i had NO rhythm that night. haha. oh well. whatever. JEFF called. how odd. seems like the only times i ever talk to him is when im drunk off my ass. some good times tho. jeff is probably the keeper of all of my deep dark secrets that only surface under the influence. hahah. OOH. he's got the power over me. HAH. you wish.
but no more alcohol. the toll it took over my performance over the weekend was overwhelming. DEPRESSANTS ARE BAD! i need to learn self-control. oof. whuteva. k. that's it.
March 6, 2003
someone remind me that i have a hold at my store that needs to be renewed today. =P stupid LP.
so i just found out that NFG is taping a concert video today in OC. but it's sold out already. BOOOO. we actually coulda gone too. and made it on time. but whatever. speaking of which,... i never noticed it until last night... but look on NFG's first album (i forgot what its called) but whatchamacallit (the guy with the belly that never has his shirt on. damn. they say his name ALL THE FUCKING TIME but it never seems to stick in my head. but yeah. him) is wearing an UNWRITTEN LAW shirt. haha. whoa. both bands are so old school. but anyway. random trivia i thought you guys should know.
you know how wherehouse is shuttin down all of its independently standing stores? (as in the stores that arent in malls) yeah. the sale is SOOO not worth it. it's only 20% off the lowest sticker price. and you know wherehouse... the lowest sticker price is always like 35% higher than the normal selling price at tower. screw that. no thanks. that's why they have to shut down stores. bad business management. no. it was probably mostly greed. see what happens when you're a sinner?
oh yeah. so what did you give up for lent? i ended up giving up SHOPPING. i was gonna give up alcohol, but then i remembered that spring break falls during lent. then i was gonna give up coffee... but i have 7 exams during those 40 days that i know i will really need the espresso for. so no go there. so what's my other passions? brian and shopping. and there's no way in hell that im gonna be able to give up any aspect of brian for 40 days. so shopping it is. haha. you like that? i dont. but lent is about sacrifice. so i guess my shit's gotta hold off on being bought for another month n a half. oh well. maybe it will all go on sale by then. we'll see.
this post is getting too long. i need to get my lab turned in so i can start my day already. k. peace fish.
March 4, 2003
happy birthday mark.
i FINALLY got my resume all typed up. i think it sucks. but its something. it will have to do for now. whatever. we'll see where it gets me. but for now... in my pre-career years, it will do. yecht. whatever. anyhow. im planning a trip around the area to drop off my resume and what not. remind me that i have to get my lil sis's present to my big sis by tomorrow. which means i gotta finish it by tonight. here i come walmart.
03.03.03.i.just.wanted.to.see.03.03.03
anyway, im feelin lyrical. i shoulda posted these lyrics a while back, but i never got around to it. the streams of mindlessness had to be released. oh well. here's some food for thought. just to keep things interesting.
Hung up here on a web of comfort.
Taking off with nowhere to go.
Standing tall with but your new cloak armor.
Making out like it's all been done.
It's harder than it seems.
You slip but never fall.
They'll take you, when you wont come back to me.
Tearing down what we built up so well.
Layin low as you came my way.
Look alive with your head on backwards, goin off when there's nothin wrong.
It's only in your dreams, but it felt like it was real.
They'll take you, when you won't come back to me.
Hang loose, my friend dont walk away from me, because i really think you're cool.
Is it worth turning back despite these open hands?
You're tearing me apart.
They'll take you, when you won't come back to me.
(you need to find yourself).
--jimmy.eat.world-17
When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again
--linkin.park
p.s. linkin park is playin a free show. tickets are limited. yah gotta be on some list. anyone care to find em for me? or better yet... fly me out to see NFG & good.charlotte. just to arizona. that's the closest they're comin to san diego. which makes me pretty angry. cuz its a free show. but the twist is funny. it's for a CIVIC tour. how you figger it's gonna be a tour for a car that targets SHEEP. how fitting that it be 2 bands that have found themselves in the mainstream. im not gonna knock the music. but certain threads on the lyrical content of the songs from these 2 bands as of late have consisted of "they rock" "these guys kick ass" "blablabla is so hot" and other mindless brain pellets. makes me sick. but whatever. at least they're livin the good life. ridin on they're fans' mommies and daddies buyin random paraphernelia. haha. but whatever. i get a chuckle watchin Mr. & Mrs. country club pickin stuff out at the local hot topic.
March 3, 2003
im guessing that NOBODY ever reads thru my blogspot. understandable. cuz the only posts i post there are cheese and lyrics. goes together like fruit n alcohol. but anyway... i think im to capacity with the cheese and lyrics, so im letting it spill over here. sorry. but yeah. k. ill shut up now.
this is my revised version of "cailin" ... duly entitled "brian." haha. k. sorry. but unwritten law was the first band we ever saw together.
well it seemed like yesterday
when the world was looking dark
it felt so cold and grey
and why the hell am i even here
what's the purpose all i feel is guilt and hate and fear
uh huh...yea yea yea...ohhhh
til that day you came along
my heart was empty like the soul was missing from a song
and i thought i'd loved a few
no one ever made me feel the way that you do
hey brian paul
look what you do
oh i love you
hey brian paul i love you
well i know i'm not always right
and boy it breaks my heart
when i have to see you cry
so many things i wanna say
no one knows that you're the reason why i'm here today
whenever you're here just stay near
we'll be alright yea alright....
hey brian paul
look what you do
and you do
when all my love starts running thin
i 've got you my own BRIAN
hey brian paul
oh i love you
i love you...
yea...hit me...
yea yea i'll be alright
hmm but i, i need you close
please stay tonight
as long as you're here
just stay near
we'll be alright yea alright
hey brian paul
look what you do
oh i love you
hey brian paul
look what you do, and you do
when all my love starts running thin
i 've got you my own BRIAN
hey brian paul who i love...
yea brian paul who i love...
hey BRIAN PAUL OH I LOVE YOU!
03.02.03.still.march.second.
so i was gonna go and archive february (typing that reminded me of this one argument jeanelle and i had about the pronunciation of the word. silent R or do you say it? so for a good hour or so, we must have pronounced it a hundred million times. never even bothered to look it up in the dictionary. but in the end, she won. cuz im a FOB. and she's a little white boy. conclusion... it's pronounced feb-YOU-airy. like... "hey Feb, you airy." k. bad example. but you get my point.) but anyway... i was gonna go and archive feb-YOU-airy when i noticed my post when i posted my grades. (my post when i posted my grades? english please!) check it out! the grades i got actually reflect my feelings... in EMOTICONS! when i got a B, it was that goofy "i wanna show you my teef cuz i didnt do as hot as i wanted, but whatever" look. see... =B then when i got a C, it was a sad face. cuz i really hate getting Cs. see.... =C okay. (Cs see.... hahah! that makes me laff) so does that mean that when i get an A, it will be a happy face? =A i guess so... if i had that one disease where i can only move half my face. i forgot what it's called. so lemme look it up.
March 2, 2003
slowly but surely... im catchin up on my schoolwork. OOF! this is taking a lot of work. that little illness of mine didnt exactly help either. but im gettin caught up. AT LEAST. my spanish is almost halfway finished. so are my I&CD papers. still have to do the booknotes for stats, but ill get to it in time. i have a few hours in the RBR before it hits midnight. and ive gotta get up bright and early tomorrow morning to clean up the department at work. gotta get my resume typed up SOON. so i can go ahead and turn in my 2 week notice. ive got my fingers crossed that i get a $12+ per hour job. so i can work less hours and still have the same income. less hours of work and more hours studying. that's what i REALLY need. plus, i need to have a dependable schedule in case my lil sis ever needs to talk to me. damnit. i forgot to factor in the time i need to spend callin her and emailin her and what not. CRAP. oh well. that's what i get.
anyway, just found out that SDSU and palomar's spring breaks are scheduled at different times. damnit. there goes the road trip. wherever it was. at least we have the summer. hopefully i have a good job by then. and a research project. damnit. meaning i should probably take a year off of school to get my student loan paid off and better my chances of getting into a GOOD grad school. i dont wanna just go to any hunkydorie school just to get my damn masters (phD). i want it from an honorable institution please. but we'll see. maybe im looking too far ahead. but whatever.
p.s. my daddy just bought a new camry. which i know he cant afford right now. bleh. sorry erik. another TOYOTA in my driveway. hahah. the nissan JUST quit on us. bless her poor little soul. she kaput at a young 13 years old. =(