Ever stop and wonder why it is that so many people are getting divorced and separated? And what’s with society, now that so many women are in the workplace juggling a full time job, AND expected to be a housewife too? Were we really prepared for this cultural change? Could women take on a non-traditional role as the bread winner AND the housewife? And what will the men do when the change takes place? For that matter, what will the women do? Could they both continue a meaningful relationship with all the stress that goes along with it?

These are the kind of questions I try to answer in my book. Now I’m not some sort of college graduate who thinks he knows it all. Just a regular guy trying to make a living like everyone else. At the time I met my wife Shirley, she had been through more than most people will ever have to go through. Myself, I had seen and done a lot also. Neither of us were what I call “looking” for anyone or anything in particular.
 

But once we met, our lives changed forever, and would never be the same. I first started the book more than 10 years ago. I noticed a transition in our society and culture. More women were working, and more marriages were not. So what was so special that Shirley and I had? How was it that we had managed to be married for so long at the time, and there were 18 years between us? Everyone has heard about older men marrying younger women. Never do you hear the opposite. Sure, there are the talk show guests who are “dating” but with no “real” commitment.

I didn’t want this book to be a just right clean packaged piece of work. I wanted it to be real. Just like life is. And I wasn’t all that concerned about perfect grammar. So bear with me. The book starts by telling how and where Shirley and I grew up. I thought it was important to tell how our childhoods were so different. I must admit it can be a bit boring but again, after reading it I think later on you will appreciate the details. Eventually I get into the heart of matters. What are people missing or not doing that is obviously having an impact on their marriage?
 

Were there any key things in my marriage that I thought would help others? You can’t even begin to imagine the looks and treatment Shirley and I got, and still get to this day. The obvious thing was the age. But we have something. Something I don’t see much anymore. Towards the end of the book, is where I dive into matters that I think are extremely important, for a successful and long lasting marriage. And believe it or not, the basic principles are very simple on the surface. The hard part is making yourself aware of them, and making sure they are a part of the every day relationship. With all the stress of today, I think we could all use a little help. And don’t think I’m some Dr. Phil either. Shirley and I are very plain, but at the same time, sensitive and caring.
 

I really think that if people read this book, it will shed some light on some very important observations I have made in the 19 years I have been with Shirley. We have not only proved relationships and marriages can still work, but that they can work even in a day of such anxiety and stress. Just imagine for a minute what I’m saying here. My wife will be 64 in December of 2003, and I am 46. Just think, and I mean think. If there are 18 years between us, and we have been married for 19 years, how come we have made it for so long, while so many others have failed? Statistically, Shirley and I never had a chance.
 

I can’t even imagine life without Shirley. As we grow older each day, I find more and more things in Shirley that I am so lucky to be part of. She is what makes me the man I am today. If I only have one thing in life of value, let that one thing be my wife Shirley. No amount of material possessions or wealth could ever compare to the treasure I have found in my wife, my partner. Once we/you realize that value, nothing else will matter. I truly hope that anyone and everyone who buys this book will walk away a better person, and a better partner. Some of us just need a little help in finding the secret.
 

Paul New
 

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Last Site Update    05/29/2008