BACHELOR'S PORK CHOPS
by Ian Campbell
Required:
We recommend that if you have a smoke alarm, disconnect its power supply before starting cooking.
Check expiry date on package, if it is more than a week past due, throw away and buy another. Remove chops from package and dump into fry pan. Turn up heat as far as it will go and go crank up the stereo. Come back and flip chops just before they burn. Repeat every two minutes until they look like they are definitely done. You can't take any chances with pork. If the phone rings while you are cooking, let the machine get it.
Dump finished chops onto fairly clean plate and eat in front of the TV.