| Habits, habits, habits...... Will they ever stop controlling me? This was my question as I sit down at the dinner table with my head in my hands. It seemed all hope was gone. Friends would tell me, “If you really want to stop, you can.” Others would add, “It’s a matter of wanting to quit.” One lady told me “When the time is right, you will stop.” My brain was churning, How can they be so sure. Is this really all it takes? You just wanting to? I don’t think so. I was learning more and more about the Seventh-day Adventist faith from my new friends. I was also struggling with Tobacco. A doctor’s appointment for my son reinforced my overwhelming desires to stop this miserable habit. The doctor had stressed that I must stop smoking around Dusty, because it was creating asthma problems for him. One day after a futile struggle with cigarettes, I decided to write down all the reasons I could think of for not smoking. I placed the paper inside my Bible where I have it today. One of reasons I logged in on my list was the tremendous cost of this filthy habit. I wanted to enroll Dusty in a Christian school, but we didn’t have the money. If I quit, I would have $60.00 more for his education each month. That left me only $30.00 short of his complete tuition.Where are your priorities? I kept asking myself. How does God feel about smoking? I don’t want to hurt our relationship, He’s becoming very precious to me. The day came when I saw all the reasons for stopping. I gritted my teeth and told myself, I WILL STOP SMOKING. I also prayed earnestly for God’s help in quitting, and I knew I could do it because, I wanted to! Each day I would try to taper off one less cigarette. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I knew I was getting closer to my goal, because I wasn’t smoking as much. More than anything else in the world I wanted to stop completely. Each day I struggled, my goals; of total abstinence was getting farther and farther out of reach. At last I was at the end of my rope. I seemed to be getting weaker and weaker instead of stronger. I found myself crying out, “Oh, Lord, help me, please. The craving is just too much for me. How do I let this habit go?” Then this verse would flash into my mind: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 RSV. Because my body belongs to God I didn’t want to violate his laws for healthful living. My days were filled with tears. No matter how hard I tried, I found that I would inevitably end up with smoke encircling my head. I wanted so badly to clean up my life and rid myself of this craving. Finally one day I couldn’t even look up to my Father in heaven. My head and my heart were so heavy from guilt and crying, I found myself dropping to the floor with empty arms and hopes. I felt completely exhausted from the struggle and from all my crying. Worst of all I was still smoking! This time, however, as I fell to my knees I sensed my desperate need to surrender my all to Jesus. I cried out, “Dear Lord, I cannot stop this habit. It is too much for me! It has a great hold on me, and I cannot overcome it! Please, Lord, I need your strength and help. My overwhelming desire is not enough, but I know You can do what I cannot do. Amen.” Amazingly I felt this heavy load being lifted off my shoulders. The tears were not because of weakness and sorrow, but of happiness and contentment. The Lord and I continued to overcome this habit for three days. At the end of this time I had absolutely NO desire for a cigarette! The habit I had struggled with for so long was all gone! I realize now that all along he heard my cries. He felt my pain and knew my struggles. He reached out to me with His victorious right hand, but could not act decisively until I gave up all. He waited for me to see that I was helpless and that He alone could bring about my victory. “For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15, 16. It has been four years since the Lord has taken this habit from me. My son has been in a Christian school during this time and has not had the asthma problems he used to have. We have all been blessed by the love of Jesus in our lives.Is it possible to win by giving up? Only if you give up ALL your will to Jesus! “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. |
| Copyright (c) Oct. 1998 Debi Gentry |
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| “Give Up To Win” |
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