IWILLFEARNOEVIL

I WILL FEAR NO EVIL

    Every now and then I look back over my past life including my childhood. Such a warm and loving feeling comes over me.
I was truly blessed! But how different things seem to be now. Today I have my own family and finally understand the Christian values Mother tried to instill in me.
    Recently I went to my mom's and dad's house. My former feelings of joy and anticipation which I had taken for granted were shocked at the sight of their yard. Formerly Dad was usually outside working on the landscaping. He always gave me a joyful reception with his smiles, love and time for all my needs.
   But now instead of his usual greeting he was inside coping with my dear Mom now afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. Mom loved beautiful flowers. Her garden and her lush hanging plants were her great love. It was always such a joy to see my parents working together outside in their well-tended flower beds. Now I was shocked to see the geranium plants turned upside down, and the myriad variety of other plants were wasting away for lack of care.
     My parents' love was never physically demonstrative towards anyone, but you had no doubt that it was there. Mom never minded cooking a huge meal in the evening for not just our family but for any boy or girl friend who might need a hearty home cooked meal. She was adamant that no one visiting her home should go away hungry. She just had a special graciousness about her.
It seems like just a few days ago that things were normal, but in reality its been two years or more since Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
    Today when I go to my parents' house I go with fear of what heart-wrenching scene I will meet. As I walk in the door, I can see a woman I'd love to relate to as I have in the past, but I can't. I see my Mother's eyes reaching out, struggling to understand what is happening to her, but never able to fully comprehend. The woman who loved beautiful flowers is no longer planting and taking care of them. She now lives in a world of her own, not even thinking about the lush spider plants, African violets, ferns and palms she nurtured so tenderly in the past. It's hard to view the front porch now so bare of its former beauty.
   Knowing the future is uncertain, I have often wondered where I would get the strength to carry on. Questions confront me: Why has God our Creator allowed so much pain and anguish to fall on us? I thought He was a loving God. It's so easy during our hurts and trials to put the blame on the wrong one--our Creator! Unfortunately, our pain blinds us. Our Father does love us with a love that we cannot even comprehend! No matter how alone we may feel, God is always there for us! He wants to give us the strength we need to make it through these rough times.
   Sin is the reason for all this pain, sorrow and trial. Not God! And even though sin can destroy our bodies with disease, through Jesus this sin cannot destroy our love! As long as we have hope in Jesus we can never give up. When we and our loved ones are hurting like this, Jesus gives us promises to hold onto. Hebrews 4:16 says: "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Also 2 Corinthians 12:9 says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
    Could it be the Lord had a plan for me all along? Did He know I needed others when this hard time came to my door? I do believe so! My life has been changed since I have met people who do more than say they care about me. They show it with love. The members of my church have filled the empty space in my heart, and I owe it all to the Lord! There is a special love that is within my brothers and sisters in Christ that has carried me through many rough times. When I'm hurting and I see by faith the sympathetic tears from Jesus' eyes, I feel they are reflected within these beautiful people that have comforted me. I do love my Church! Jesus gives me the hope and strength and a true comfort of being loved. Thank you Jesus for the changes in my life!
   God says sin won't rise up the second time (Nahum 1:9). With this promise in mind, God willing, one day I will be with my loving mom and dad reveling in the beautiful flowers of heaven.   Mom will again be able to experience the joy of tending her plants.
Diseases here will have no effect on us in heaven. Words cannot express the incredible peace, joy and beauty of heaven. Today our lives may end in sorrow and pain, but thanks to Jesus it's only the end of the chapter and not the end of the book!
     David comforts us in the Shepherd Psalm with the promise, "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
   No matter what our sorrows, hurts or burdens we are not alone! God walks through the valley with all who have this disease, and especially with all the storm-tossed caregivers. Because of this knowledge, I can walk confidently into the future with Jesus!

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