Thereisnopriceformemories

"There is No price for Memories"

What a dismal day! Or should I say, month? Today We started packing up
the things that were left in my mom and dads house. The memories again,
start to fill my mind, and the tears begin to fill my eyes.
As I rummaged through the bathroom closet I noticed a dress that my mom use to wear
around the house. "Come look at this", I said to my brother.
As I sit down wiping the tears from my eyes, "This is, well it was, moms favorite dress."
My brother looked at me as he was loading the truck with boxes filled with many years of
memories and treasures. He too, with tears in his eyes said, "Yes, I see that".

Mom had worn that dress many times. As she cooked for our family and did the washing
for the week. As we continued to work at packing things up
and cleaning out the house, many things came into view that we had not seen for awhile.
Like the dress, and even towels that she had bought and put
back for use later, for when company came or when her old ones wore out. Under
the coffee table we found one of our family Bible's. And in the dinning
room in a box, picture's of the "good-ole" days.

As we kept working, there were many times that I would have to just sit down and cry. It
was so true that I was not just packing "things" up..I was packing "memories" up too. So
many feelings rushed through my mind as I wiped the rushing tears. "Oh Lord, this hurts
so bad! I feel so bad packing the things up and getting rid of them. But we can't keep
every thing."

My brother and I also went through a time when it just didn't seem right to pack every
thing up and not tell my dad....but how this would hurt him
so badly! We still to this day, fight with these feelings. It would not bother mom, but dad
is not as confused in mind as she is. But yet, he's not well enough in mind to understand
what we are having to do now. I find myself trying to reason things out. "Debi, if you tell
him it will only hurt him, and he will not understand how you could do this to him. He will
worry about this til the day he dies...On the other hand, if you don't tell him, he will not
have to deal with all the hurt feelings and trying to sort things out in his confused mind."
Oh how these thoughts felt like they were ripping my heart to peaces.
The tears and heart-ache, its so much to deal with.

Well, we worked for days and got every thing done. Now it was time for the real Estate
Agent to come look at it. I never felt so "numb" as I did that day I made the phone call to
the Realtor. My heart beat so fast, it was so unreal.
With every word that came out of my mouth, a tear fell to my cheek as well.
"Hi there, is this Mr. Anderson? This is Debi, and we have dads house clean up ready to
put up on the market." I knew this Realtor, so he understood what my feelings were here.
He said, "Yes, Debi, I will meet you there on Thursday about 3:30. Is that a good time for
you?" I said, "Yes, I will be there to meet you." Then we hung up the phone. At that
moment, I felt so sad! Like I was not just selling their "home", but everything seemed so
"final"! And I was doing it behind their backs! WOW! Did that ever feel bad! But I just
don't know what the best way would be! I don't want to hurt them in any way! The doctor
says, dad will ever get to be at home ever again. And I do see his memory slipping more
and more each time we see him. But it still feels so "hurtful" to have to do this!

I remembered as Mr. Anderson talked to me at the house when we met, the feelings that
were flashing through my mind. We had to turn the gas and lights off as well as the water.
Winterizing the house. And it was so cold in the house....so empty....so barren! Kinda like
the way I was feeling right at that moment! Will these feelings ever go away? Will I ever
really get over this part in my life? And be able to live and feel again? So many questions
I had filling my mind as I just felt like falling down and crying. Mr. Anderson asked me,
"Debi, what do you think we should put on it for a price?" I looked down and then said, "I
really don't know, there is no price for memories!" We agreed on a price and we both left
that cold and lonely house, that was once filled with so much love and warmth.

I have learned so much through these heart-aches and trials. That old house was cold, and
lonely and empty. It was the love of a dad and a mom that made that old-house a "home"!
And I will keep asking God to give me the strength I need to get through this time in my
life. And I will claim His promises to get me through, and to keep me focused on a better
day!

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's
house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place
for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and
receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know,
and the way you know." John 14:1-4

I hold to the promise that one day we will be in a "home" that will never get cold, empty
or lonely! And one day God will answer all of our questions for us. And then we will
understand the way we were guided. And it was once said that, if we knew the out come
of the way God is leading us, we would never think of asking Him to take us another way!
And I pray that I will never forget where the Lord has brought me from.

When things get me down, I pray that I will not get so focused in on the dilemma that I
can't see the Savior! I pray that when trouble comes, I will know that it is not bad to feel
the hurt and pain, but it is when you sit in it that it becomes bad. And Jesus wants us to
look to Him! Not sit and wallow in our trials. But to KNOW there is a better day. And
then as we sit in our home in heaven, we can talk of how God lead us... and how He knew
what we needed and when we needed it. And we will see just all the tings God saved us
from here on this earth. And then our saddened memories here on earth, will be blessed
memories in our new "home"! No! There is no price for memories! But the bad ones will
be all washed away. And there will be no more tears. (Rev. 21:4) There IS hope! We must
just hold on tight to Jesus!

Each day, I will ask Jesus to walk with me all the way. And help me to make
the right choices on what to do. And then I must believe that He DID!

"And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
Matt. 21:22

The road is not easy, but thank God, we don't have to go it alone!