As I drove down the road, looking all around, I see life in its different forms surrounding me. There is so much life in the beautiful green trees, in the birds that spread their wings and fly so high and free.
The flowers with their blooms of many myriads of colors.
And many different people , some full of joy and laughter. Others a bit confined to themselves and one that really stood out, they called her the
"bag lady". She was strolling her grocery cart down the busy street with
every thing she owns within hands reach. Then the grandfather who once held his grandchildren, one by one on his knee, teasing, hugging, talking about the once enjoyed fishing trips together. And now back into the mirror of time and see the wrinkles and thoughts a bit mingled or even forgotten. Do you find yourself asking the questions that I ask?
What is happiness all about? Can we really have true happiness while all
this pain and sorrow seems to be all around us?
Yes, I believe so! Even with the roses and their wonderful colors, there
are thorns.
We have a loving heavenly Father who loves us each one so much. He gives us many blessings to share. But do we choose to see those blessings? Or do we choose to focus on the thorns? The hurtful and bad things of this life? Do we say we believe God's promises and then forget to claim them? Are we really believing His promises for us in our daily walk with Him? The rose smells and looks beautiful even though it has the thorns. We can choose to see God's handiwork and His love through the warmest colors He has given each one. Or we an focus on the thorns and loose the blessing and the happiness.
The Lord tells us to think upon what is good. "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8. And know that He is with us in the sad times too. Jesus feels our sorrows and know of our tears. Jesus also wept for His friend Lazarus. "Jesus wept." John 11:35.
And in the times of our sadness and our dealing with our love ones' shortening life, Jesus holds us close to Himself and we must hold close to Him- and know He is always in control. No matter how things look or feel to us.
This week I had to place my dad in the nursing home close by. This would be a permanent thing. The word "permanent" really shined a whole new meaning for me. And in that moment of trying to get my dad to accept the changes in his life, was so devastating! Where are the good and positive things now? Where is the happiness for this moment of time? I feel such guilt coming in all around me! And how it is starting to weigh me down. I didn't feel any happiness, only the beginning of depression setting in. This is where our choices come in now. I ask myself, " Can I change my dad's health? And with his health and mental abilities declining, can I continue to be his only caregiver? Will he be able to understand the reasons for the nursing home?
Or do I need to trust now and allow others to help me take care of my dad?
"The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble;
and He knoweth them that trust Him." Nahum 1:7.
It is no longer safe for my dad to be in his home alone at night. Even though he thinks it is. I remember driving home from church one day. And how I was having such a rough time right after placing dad in the nursing home. I so clearly recall as my husband drove, and my son was in the back seat - the tears were impossible to hold back! How they rushed down my cheeks as fast as I would wipe them away.
At that point, my tears were not only racing down my cheeks but they had
been spotted by my husband and my son. It tried so hard to just stop crying! But it was like an endless river-so I prayed and prayed! "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for getting me through these hard times. Father God, I am Your child and I just can't seem to stop these tears right now. Please dry these tears for me. I want Your will to be done in my life and my dad and mom's life. Help me with Your strength to be able to cope with this and give me true happiness. Help me to know your will for my life now.
I'm your little girl, Father God- And this hurts really bad. I choose to
lay all these sad feelings down at Your feet. Help me to trust You and wait on You as You answer my prayers in Your timing. I love You, Jesus. In Your name I pray. Amen"
I thanked my God as we drove for hearing and answering my prayer. And held on to the promise that came into my thoughts. "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7.
As my tears finally dried up, within only a few minutes, I hear the encouraging words from the back seat. "Mom, You know when I was little, there were things I wanted to do, and when you told me "no", I didn't understand. I was even man at you for a while.
But now that I am older, I do understand that you said " no" for my own
good. You didn't want me to get hurt, and you said " no" out of the love
you had for me. Grandpa may not understand now, but he will when we get to
heaven, and he will thank you for taking care of him the best way you knew
how. He will see the love you had for him, when his mind is all cleared up
and working well. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelations 21:4.
Again the tears ran down my cheeks. But they were tears of "happiness." "Thank You, Jesus," I said, as I wiped away the tears once again.
My son continued to say, "Mom, Grandpa doesn't understand and he is fighting back with hurtful words- but he is just not able to understand now."
I said, " Thank you , Dusty, you will never know how much that has helped me
today. God is so good. He used you to give me the "happiness" I needed so
badly right now. " Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants, you have established strength, because of your enemies, that you may silence the enemy and the avenger. " Psalm 8:2.
All the negative thoughts are not coming from God. They come from the enemy and the avenger. So, when you find yourself as I did, hurting, crying, and next to depression's door, look to your heavenly Father's love. And give it all to Him. And He will comfort you right when you need it.
"You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side." Psalm 71:21. " I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation." 2 Corinthians 7:4.
And know that He can use anyone or anything to shine His love through.
Let's just choose to look for the good and the happiness He is so much
wanting to give us in this sin-filled world.
"What do ye imagine against the Lord? He will make an utter end and one day there will be no more sin, for sin and " affliction shall not rise up the second time." Nahum 1:9 What will be your choice today?
Copyright (c) 2001 Debi Gentry
Wipe my eyes and hold me close
Tell me things that mean the most.
Give me your love without words in return
Give me the time... even though I may not learn.
Take my hand and walk me along
Love me much....overlook that my thoughts may be wrong.
Give me smiles that mean so much
Please don't forget...I need your touch.
When you think I don't know what is said
Just keep on talking as I lay in bed
Tell me things of life and Jesus now
I know His words will sink in somehow.
Please, don't be sad...it hurts me too
But remember now... Jesus will get us through
Just take His cross and hold on tight
For one day, Jesus will make things right!
We must trust our Heavenly Father this day
And know, that He is in control as we pray.
So give Him praise and the glory for all
And know that He is there when we call.
And always remember, though this road is full of sorrow
We are not alone... and Jesus is there in each tomorrow.
So pick up your chin and focus on Him with a smile
And He will help you all the while.
Copyright (c) 2001 Debi Gentry
