Copyright (c) 1994 Debi Gentry
My son was only two and a half years old when his dad left us! My world was destroyed; my hopes were all gone; my life seemed to be totally shattered!
All my life I was reared to believe that once you got married, it was for life. You worked problems out somehow, some way. I would sit up at night trying over and over to figure out what I could do to make my husband happy with me. But each day brought only more anguish and pain. I listened to my husband promise his son he would take him places just to be with him. As he spoke these words my heart broke, and tears rolled down my cheeks because I observed that he never carried through on his promises. Why, why dear Lord?
One day, however, we woke up to the fact that we were going to be alone. We were left sad and empty. Supposedly he was going to look for a job, and then come back to get us. But he never did! Day after day my son kept looking out the window hoping to see his daddy driving a familiar truck down our long driveway. Dusty knew he would come to fulfill those promises, but he never did. We sat in our country home waiting and praying for over one year. Then we had a chance to move back closer to my family in Ottawa, Kansas.
It was comforting to be near my parents, but I was still confused, sad and lonely. How I prayed for my husband to come back to us.
I needed my husband and Dusty needed his daddy. Oh, but why couldn't my heavenly Father see this? How could He let this happen to us? For months Dusty would never let me out of his sight--not even to go to the next room.
He would cry out in a painfully loud voice, "Mommy, mommy, please don't leave me like daddy did." This crushed me even more. What could I do to heal my son's pain? Why, Lord why?
As more time passed and more prayers were spoken, I realized the Lord did not see fit to bring my husband back to us. This was my own selfish desire. I had married this man in spite of inner warnings. I did not seek counsel of the Lord. It was I who had done this to my life, not the Lord.
My son is 10 years old now and I am 35. Four and a half years ago my prayers were abundantly answered by God. Dusty is no longer a confused boy. His mixed-up heart has found rest now. Once again he has a normal, happy life, and no longer do I find myself longing to find ways to make someone special love me. I know now that the most important love there is is found only in Jesus! His plan is infinitely more satisfying.
He has given me a new husband and Dusty a new daddy, and, in the process, both of us have experienced a new life in Him. I know that these changes in my life and in my son's life could only be possible through the power of Jesus' love!
Job 42:10 says, "And the Lord restored Job's losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before." Even though I may not understand why things happen, or why people have so much pain and sorrow, I do know that our heavenly Father loves us so much and He will look out for us.
My husband, Steve, is truly a blessing for both me and our son, Thank you, Jesus, for having the patience and love to guide us even against our selfish wills. I really thought at one point that you had given up on us, but you never did!
Through prayer, Bible studies and our brothers and sisters in Christ, we can live a more loving life for others as for ourselves. I thank the Lord for His blessings and His church. And through all the hard times that we may go through, always remember: "Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24. And, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
