| "Her Eyes" Copyright (c) Nov. 2001 Debi Gentry As I sit searching for the right words to put on the paper, the thoughts run back and forth through my mind of my moms eyes focusing on me. The alertness that has not been there to much for the past week....now she looks at me with much focus, after a short pleading prayer.... How I longed for God to hear my prayer. How I prayed for Him to let her just go to sleep....and rest.....and wait til He comes again...to take us home. I felt the tears rolling so fast down my cheeks....holding so tightly to the side of her bed, and with my other hand rubbing her soft straight hair. Oh God PLEASE hear me..... Please let this stop? I feel so helpless Lord...so very helpless. I am so weak Lord.....you tell me that you are strongest in my weakness Lord....(2 Corin. 12:9) help my mom Jesus...Please help my mom? Lord you know how long she has been fighting with this disease? She has been such a trooper...Oh Lord how I love her! As she grasped for air, and gurgling a little more, her eyes slowly started to close. Today, I seen my mom through her eyes, that I have not seen in a long time. And when her eyes looked into mine, I knew it was all about Jesus!! I knew it was Him that had helped her to move her head up, and look into my eyes, with a small on-coming smile. I knew that the prayer that was spoken was heard! He was giving me the time I needed with my mom for the last time here on this earth. I never said good bye.....but only "Mom, I will see you in heaven" and " It is going to be ok, Jesus is going to let you go to sleep soon, please don’t be afraid, and we love you so much......and it is ok to go to sleep". It was no more then 3 or 4 minutes...she took a couple more breaths and then, her last breath was gone....She had fallen asleep in Jesus! The fight was over.......and she ran a good race! The feelings of loss, and sadness were not as heavy as I thought they would be at "that" moment. The relief and ease came over me.....for my mom was not hurting any more....she was not gurgling, grasping for air.....or being confused any more. Jesus had allowed her to "rest in Him".... I do miss my mom very much.....the tears roll down my face every evening and every day that someone says something or does something that my mom had once said or done. But I "can" learn to let go....NOT of my mom's memories or her love for me and others.....but of all the pain and hurt that she went through! I thought back of how God worked in this situation... God opened the doors to where we could be close to her during this time. And He opened the doors where dad could see her and spend a little time with her too. And He allowed things to fall into place where she would be in a very loving home with very loving people to take care of her. I thank God for that over and over every day! I think of how much God must have hurt as His son was on the cross dying for us. How God must have hurt so deeply! Watching our loved ones during this time is not easy....but we do know that we have a heavenly Father that knows every thing we have went through and feel. Oh Jesus, come quickly! Reunite us and take us home. And I thank you so much for all you have done in my life.....and my moms life. I thank you for shortening her time here in the condition she was in. You are a merciful God! And I love you so much! You are real and you do care about everything we are going through! You..... I believe, were shedding many tears through this time as well as we were. You care for us....1 Peter 5:7 I do miss my mom. But I don’t miss her pain and confusion. And one day, we will be together again. And thank you for the strength you have given me , through her eyes! No words could ever express...the ease and at peace her eyes shined out. Thank you Jesus! Once again, it is not the end of the book....Just the end of this chapter! We will be together again soon. And we will walk the streets of gold with Jesus and our loved ones. No more to see the diseases of this world! He is coming back to take us home soon! 1 Thess. 4:13-18 (Mom went to sleep on Nov. 23, 2001~~12:20 p.m.) |
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| We will never forget you! You are a part of us. And you will live in our hearts FOREVER! |
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