Mom, As I grew up you taught me how to walk....how to smile..... how to overcome a rough fall. You gave meaning and reason's to start again.  Through the years as a child, you taught me how to not give up. To fight for what I believed in....maybe not in a physical way, but to hold tight to what I believed in. Through my eyes I seen the world as scarey....But through your eyes, teachings and love, I found......a place where  love wrapped around me and kept me safe.  Where kindness flowed from your warm heart to mine. As time past, with every year it seemed to be a harder road to walk. But one thing I could always count on...was I always had you!  You were my strength, protector,  and "friend". As time went on, you found times when you had to correct me. And at times I thought you were to mean.... times when I thought you were unfair.  But as more years went by, I soon learned that......you loved me very much!

Time has a way of slipping away....so fast....to fast!  I look back and so many times I took things for granted.  The times I could have shared with you mom,  I spent else where.  They call those the teenage years..... I was so busy...doing my own things.  While you were watching me grow up so fast....wondering where your little girl has gone.  You waited so patently to share time with me.......but I was too busy!  I never at that time, realized that you missed me so much...... That you longed to spend time with me....  That you waited up for me at night because you were worried and "needed" to know I got home ok....

After my first marriage, I too found myself doing some of the things that you use to do.  I now had desires to have a home, be a good wife and a good mother.  At times I would find myself thinking back during the night hours of how much you really did for our family and home.  I never really thought much about it when I use to be so busy. But my life was starting to slow down a little....and I can now start to see the beautiful person you really were.....and really are!  I have now learned of memories that were priceless!

Thank you mom, for instilling the love of Jesus in my heart.  You never really knew that I seen Him in you. But I did!  You were the most kindest, loving person I have ever known. And during the birth of your grandson, I felt the love that only Jesus could give.  As you looked into my eyes that day and said "I love you"....It felt so good.  And I love you too mom!  You were the only one at that time, to know what I was going through and feeling.  You had only a few years to see your youngest grandson grow.   He has grown to be a fine young man. Mom, you would be so happy!   He reminds me of "me" at times mom,  and now I know the thoughts and tears that you had hidden inside as I was growing up.  He is a good boy mom, but it does hurt to see him growing away from me!   I now, understand your hidden tears! If I could only take back the time....I would tell you just how much you meant to me, how must I loved you.  I would walk with you through this time, holding your hand telling you it will be ok..... And that I will never leave you!  Isn't it so sad that when we are so young, we seem to have all the answers and all the time in the world.....then one day, we wake up. And our loved ones are fading away right infront of our eyes....now, the time has no meaning here on this earth. Memories are just a thought away....dreams are heaven bound! If only I would have seen what was important when I was younger.....How much more our memories would have flourish. I wish you could understand me mom,  but one day I pray that we will both walk the street of gold and talk with Jesus. And  He will help us to understand then, what is happening now!

We had a few years together....... And those years I would not trade for any thing.  It broke my heart the day we got the news that you had the first stages of Alzheimer's Disease.  "What was that?" We asked.   It wasn't to long, and we found out about the tears and the sorrows of this disease.

It was very hard when people thought it would be best for you to be in a nursing home. You took care of me all my childhood life.  And now, doctor's and many people say this would be best. I could not see how this could be! Oh how I fought with this so much inside, no one could ever know. They said I needed help.  They said my dad needed the help. But we only seen that "mom" needed the help.  And we wanted to help her all we could.  So many emotions during this time....so many guilty feelings....

Dear Heavenly Father, Hold my mom in your loving arms and give her the peace that she needs right now. Please help her not to be afraid and to know that you are with her every moment! Touch her mind and take all the confusion away Lord, give her the rest and joy that only you can give. I ask this in your name, and I believe you have done it, and I praise your name always!! Amen

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Rev. 21:4

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with swelling. Psalm 46:1-3

E-mail

Home

However time or circumstance may come between a mother and a child, their lives are interwoven forever. Pam Brown

A mother's heart is the child's schoolroom. Henry Ward Beecher

Show Support Click Here

Dusty and mom

Dusty and Mom