David: The Compressed Autobiography

David was born on October 22, 1984 as "Qixin" in an obscure hospital in Canton, China. As the first spectacular example of his propensity to jump the gun with all things in life, Qixin learnt to walk before he could crawl. It is also said that he never spoke any "baby talk". At the tender age of 4, he flew from China to the United States. Alone. The bastard (dad’s friend) who was supposed to pick him up at the airport and take care of him on the plane, didn't.

Of all places, he ended up in the backwater square state of Kansas. But of course, poor little Qixin knew nothing of geopolitics at the time and was relatively satisfied with the simple pleasures of life. Such as being the lackey of the big bully next door. As one of the very few Chinese kids in Elementary school, Qixin was constantly picked by the other children in school. Incidentally, they were also quite unable to pronounce his name. Ergo, they gave him the most awe-inspiring English name ever conceived: David.

After his father received his PhD in 1992, David's family moved to Singapore where they lived for the next 10 years. David's family became officially "Singaporeans", although David never really considered himself one (David doesn’t concerns himself with things like citizenship). Having worked his ass off in primary school, he landed himself in first-rate secondary school. In 1999, David's mom, dad and brother moved to China while David moved into a boarding school and continued his secondary education in Singapore. Although he lived in the boarding school of the rival school, he was relatively happy with his new environment. Most of his fellow boarders were relatively friendly, intellectual, and sociable. His school curriculum, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as kind.

At the age of 17, David had an idea. He decided he was through with the wretched Singaporean education system. To hell with the last 2 years of high school: he was going straight to college. And what better place to go back to in the States than Kansas? After all, his parents still had friends there and he was quite familiar with the place. After a few emails and quick phone calls, it was settled. He was going to Kansas State University. As fate would have it, his Dad's PhD advisor 10 years ago was now the Dean at the college of Arts and Sciences.

However, David's initial enthusiasm was extinguished within weeks of his arrival. There was a slight problem: he realized that in Kansas, he fitted in like a strand of ass hair in a big mac. Not only was he not white, he wasn't a farm and/or cow-boy, wasn't a Christian, didn't listen to country music, didn't drive a Ford or Chevy truck, but worst of all, he was a "liberal" or so he was told. But alas, it was too late to change anything. He had already committed himself to years of misery.

David is currently a senior in Biochemistry and Pre-Law at Kansas State University. He plans to wrap things up in Kansas by the end of June 2006, after which he would return to Singapore for 2 years of National Service (read: conscription). The tentative plan after that is to go to law school, get a J.D. in Intellectual Property Law, become a billionaire a take over the world. (Details are still a little sketchy at this point.)

Spiritually, David considers himself something of a deist/pantheist. As a person who’s grown up in several different countries, he identifies with none of them in particular. He has, however, acquired a distaste for Kansas. In is spare time, David likes to mess around with his acoustic guitar, play basketball, assorted racquet sports, work out and read. His favorite bands are: Goo Goo Dolls, Our Lady Peace, Michael Learns to Rock, The Rasmus, and Rammstein.

David welcomes emails from everyone, even Kansans.

Updated: 28^th May 2005

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