"We know all about you. We've been doing some investigative work on you. I'd like you to answer a few questions."
I asked again, "Who is this?"
He didn't answer. Instead, he asked an odd question. "What can you tell me about the 191st Street crew? We know you were involved. Why don't you come clean about it?"
I asked what he wanted to know and why he wanted the information. The mystery caller wouldn't answer. I said, “Look, buddy. I don't have times to play games. You can tell me what you're doing or you can take a hike.” I got ready to hang up the phone.
All of a sudden the voice changed. Laughing, he identified himself as “Willy,” one of my childhood buddies from the old neighbourhood in New York City.
It's been many years since our time growing up on 191st Street. Willy didn't know where I lived or what I was doing. So he took a chance and plugged my name into an internet search engine.
He commented, “I checked out the stuff on the net with your name in it. I've gotta say you've gone further and done more than all our old crew growing up in the neighbourhood. I really like what you're doing. I would never have figured you'd turn out this way.”
We had a great talk. And we had a good laugh about his goofy introduction. It was good to know the caller was a friend, and not some spook trying to dig up dirt on my past.
But it made me think about the changes people make in their lives. Starting a new year, I am grateful that my life is going as well as it is.
New Year's resolutions are usually pretty basic. Quit smoking. Exercise more. Budget better. Be nice to family.
Sometimes, however, the quest for change is much more comprehensive. Some people are looking not just for a change in their habits. They actually want a change of life, a complete transformation of their reputation.
I work with lots of people trying to make major changes in their lives. Some criminals are looking to stay out of prison. Some addicts are trying to go straight. Some guys in “John School” actually want to quit being “johns.” Some hookers are trying to stop hooking.
As you struggle with your New Year's resolution to quit smoking or shed some weight, reserve a little mercy for those trying to outlive their past.
It usually takes a crisis to cause a person to seriously pursue changing the course of their lives. Kind of like what happened to Alfred.
Every morning, Alfred would get up and read the morning paper over a cup of coffee. One morning in 1888, just after the death of his brother, he sat down with his morning paper. He was stunned to see his own obituary on the front page.
Instead of his brother's obituary, the French papers had inserted an obituary for him. What shocked him even more was the caption - “The Merchant of Death is Dead.”
At that moment, Alfred Nobel realized how he would be remembered after his death. And he didn't like it. The inventor of dynamite wanted to be remembered for more than facilitating death and destruction.
Some say it was that early morning reading of his obituary which prompted the establishment of the Nobel Peace Prize. Today he's more remembered for the peace prize in his name than for his invention of dynamite.
What would people be saying at your funeral if you died today? How would your obituary read? If you don't like what you imagine people saying after your death, you can start living in a way that will enable them to talk nicer when you're gone.
Several months ago, an elderly woman called me and requested that I conduct her funeral service when she passes away. She had spent a large chunk of her life as a raging alcoholic, but has left that life behind. She can look courageously at her future, convinced that, like Nobel, she will be remembered for more than her past.
I said, “It'll be an honor to conduct your service, especially when there's so much good to talk about. That's not always the case.”
Willy has lots of memories about my past. I'm thankful he now has some better images of my present.
New Year's is a good time for resolutions. But it's an even better time for some honest reflection on the overall direction of our lives.
Have a good New Year!
Rev. Harry Lehotsky
514 Maryland Street
Winnipeg, Mb R3G 1M5
(204) 775-4929
lehotsky@escape.ca