ΞΗΚ750Representative; Society of Death and Suffering
Hello friends, I am your local representative of The Society of Death and Suffering. We, here at the Society, are firmly commited to the belief that all people should possess equal capability of inflicting death and pain upon their fellow human beings. That is why we are presenting you with this special offer just in time for summer.
Our special this week is a black death and AIDS combo kit. You can bring the old and the new together in one booming epidemic of death and misery for just $89.99, or if you are just a novice at this and wish to start out slow we are also offering our deluxe Locust Plague package. One of our giant swarms can destroy millions of acres of good stable crops in mere minutes. Another exciting offer we have for teh beginner is our Jumbo Size Poisonous Horse Flies. These magnificent little beauties can kill up to a thousand head of livestock in just a few seconds. We also guarantee that all locusts and horseflies will arrive at whatever mailing address you give, alive and healthy in just one week. Prices for these kits are 29.99$ for the locusts and 39.99$ for the horseflies.
For the expert who needs a little more power we are offering our grand Nuclear Holocaust kit. Complete from the labs of Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico. Imagine having the power to destroy the earth at your very fingertips. Your friends and neighbors will be green with fits of jealousy, and if you buy now we will throw in our special Nuclear Suicide kit completely free, because after all, why just stop with yourself, when you could kill everyone. All of this for only 399.99$
Sincerely, ΞΗΚ750
Society of Death and Suffering Representative
_ice750@excite.com