By Gary Curtis

Powerpuff Girls created by Craig McCracken. All cartoon characters appearing in this story are owned by their respective rightsholders. Similarities of other characters to any actual living persons are intentional and parody only.

 

 

TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE-DAY

NARRATOR: The city of Townsville...a town that is simply animated...

(We see townfolk happily scurrying to and fro, walking on the sidewalks and driving in the streets, seemingly wanting to get somewhere in a hurry.)

NARRATOR: ...and just what is it that has simply drawn the attention of these simply animated folk?

(Three rapid cuts to two large suburban type mega-theaters and one downtown. The 'Townsville Movie Mall' and 'Megaflix' are the two in the 'burbs and the downtown theater, of course, is the 'Shank-a-plex'. People are crowding to get inside, waiting in line to buy tickets.)

NARRATOR: Why, it's the big 4^th of July weekend and everyone's off to see the new hot movie releases!

(Cut back to Megaflix and then inside, to a line of people. Standing in it are The POWERPUFF GIRLS and PROFESSOR UTONIUM. Camera pulls in tightly on them as they advance toward the ticket counter.)

BUBBLES: Finally! I thought today was never gonna get here!

BLOSSOM: Yeah! I'm glad they decided to release the Puppet Pals movie again after the monster attack ruined the premiere and scared everybody away!

BUTTERCUP: And we're gonna finally see some good-old-fashioned bonking!

PROFESSOR: Well, girls, this movie is far more than just bonking. It's the story of how Mitch and Clem first became friends, and I'm sure it will have all of the things that made us fans of their show to begin with.

BLOSSOM: (as the professor hands over his cash and takes the tickets) You're really looking forward to this, aren't you?

PROFESSOR: (as they walk to the concession stand. Bubbles is hopping up and down and the girls all hungrily eye the goodies.) Yes, Blossom. I've been telling all my friends that this is a film everyone can enjoy, not just young boys who like hitting each other over the head.

BUBBLES: I hope it does good so they'll make more Puppet Pals movies.

BLOSSOM: I don't think anything's gonna beat out the 'Alien-Ghostbusting Blues Brothers' sequel.

BUBBLES: Well, I bet it'll do better than that dumb MJ movie.

BLOSSOM: Michael Jordan?

BUTTERCUP: No, Blossom, Mojo. It's called 'Like Me (Except It Is NOT Like Me Because Mojo Jojo Is Not In The Movie Because They Hired An Actor Instead Of Hiring Mojo Jojo to PLAY Mojo Jojo)'.

BUBBLES: Yeah, it's about some kid who finds one of Mojo's head thingies and becomes a super-villain. They hired someone else to be us, too.

BLOSSOM: Gee, I never even heard about that! Remind me to thank our agent for keeping us out of it.

(They all head inside the theater with an armload of snacks.)

PROFESSOR: Now, girls, I want you to quit worrying and enjoy the show. It'll do just fine.

(But inside, the theater looks rather empty. There are a few parents with young boys holding foam 'bonkers', hitting their parents or siblings over the head. Off in a far back corner by themselves are THE JUSTICE FRIENDS; MAJOR GLORY, VALHALLEN and THE INFRAGABLE KRUNK, who is crammed into his seat. They all have on their 3-D specs. Even the professor's face shows surprise at the sparse crowd as they take their seats.)

NARRATOR: Oh, there's nothing to worry about, girls. It's only the first showing of a long, five-day weekend. The theaters'll be packed by Friday!

(Fade into the four walking out of the theater, still wearing their 3-D glasses, followed by the few families. Everyone seems to be smiling, even the parents, who don't mind getting 'bonked'. The trio of Justice Friends walks out last and high-fives each other before walking off screen. The girls and the professor all wear big smiles as they pull their specs off.)

BUTTERCUP: That was awesome! I wanna see it again!

PROFESSOR: Yes...it was everything I hoped it would be...the folks who made it did themselves proud.

BLOSSOM: The best part was when Mitch lost his bonker and Clem went out and got him a new one, even though he knew it wasn't the best thing for him personally. Talk about selflessness...(she wipes away a tear).

BUBBLES: (drying her eyes, too) Yes, that was so sweet!

BUTTERCUP: Aw, what're you talkin' about? It was the bonking!

GIRLS: Can we see it again, Professor?

PROFESSOR: Of course we can, girls. Let's go watch some aliens get their bootys kicked and we'll come back to a packed house for the next show.

(The girls are all smiles at that. Fade into the next scene, the group heading into the theater.)

BUTTERCUP: That movie was excellent! But now I'm ready for some more bonking!

(She puts her 3-D glasses on.)

BUBBLES: (pointing off to her right) Hey, look!

(Their mouths all drop.)

BUTTERCUP: It's?

(Pan to several of the JUSTICE LEAGUE members standing in a group holding their armfuls of munchies and their special specs. SUPERMAN, BATMAN, GREEN LANTERN, THE FLASH, AQUAMAN (who is tossing a handful of Goldfish crackers into his mouth) and MARTIAN MANHUNTER).

BLOSSOM:'The Justice League! What're you guys doing here?!

(The heroes quickly exchange handshakes with the professor except for Martian Manhunter, who, typically, is rather dour-faced.)

SUPERMAN: Well, girls, the first showing didn't exactly set Metropolis on fire...

BATMAN: Or create a panic in Gotham...

FLASH: So we thought we'd race out here to see how it plays to the hometown crowd.

GREEN LANTERN: We were hoping we'd run into the Justice friends.

BLOSSOM: They're around someplace...but where's Wonder Woman?

BUBBLES: And Hawkgirl?

(The Justice Friends pass behind the group. Superman and Flash see them.)

FLASH: Yo, Val! Dude!

SUPERMAN: Hey, MG, long time no see!

(Those two walk off with Green Lantern, who begins chatting with Krunk.)

BATMAN: Well, girls, we tried to talk them into coming with us?

AQUAMAN: ...but we just couldn't shake their preconceived notion that Puppet Pals is a 'guys only' thing.

BATMAN: To be honest, I'm kinda surprised to see you here.

BUBBLES: Are you kidding? We love Puppet Pals!

BUTTERCUP: (arms flying) The action!

BLOSSOM: The feelings!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: (wiping away a quick tear) The male bonding! (sees everyone staring at him) What?

BATMAN: Well, we didn't come all this way to talk. Let's go see it again!

(Fade into a shot of the movie room's double door opening. Only a handful of families come out, but everyone appears to be smiling. Two little girls have foam 'bonkers' and are hitting their brothers on the head. Cut to inside the theater. The group of superheroes is standing there, dumbfounded.)

BLOSSOM: This is as bad as before!

BUTTERCUP: What's wrong with everybody? This movie rocks!

PROFESSOR: I don't get it either, girls.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: (arms crossed and frowning) It's the marketing. This one was botched from day one.

MAJOR GLORY: I couldn't agree more, J'onn. Did you notice how all the fast food joints packaged 'Ponypuff Princess' toys with the Puppet Pals, because they thought girls wouldn't be interested?

BUBBLES: Maybe everyone's afraid to see it, 'cause of the monster the last time.

BLOSSOM: That's ridiculous, Bubbles. Townsville knows they've got us to protect them.

VALHALLEN: Yea, verily, as if anyone should be afraid with the likes of the Justice Friends to protect them also!

FLASH: Hey, we're no slouches in the 'save the day' department, either!

GREEN LANTERN: Indeed. Word of mouth should overcome poor marketing or fear of monsters, unless there's something more sinister afoot!

BUTTERCUP: Yeah! And I say we find out what!

(Krunk suddenly smashes through the door, leaving a gaping hole. Cut to the theater lobby. He is holding several screaming movie patrons in each huge fist and stomping his feet. The whole place shakes.)

KRUNK: Krunk say go see Puppet Pals! Now!

MAJOR GLORY: Now, now, big fella! Put the nice people down and let us deal with this like super men!

(The girls fly up and carry the people to the floor.)

MAJOR GLORY: (looks at girls) Er...and super ladies...

(Krunk slumps his shoulders.)

KRUNK: Krunk sorry. Krunk just try do 'word of mouth' thing.

SUPERMAN: Krunk's right, though. We should try the direct approach. (Holds his hands up and speaks in a suitably dramatic, 'superhero' tone.) Citizens of Townsville! We-

BUTTERCUP: (shoving him aside) Sorry, Supes old boy, this is our turf!

(Blossom goes through the same routine as a crowd of moviegoers stops to pay attention.)

BLOSSOM: Citizens of Townsville! (her voice changes back to the confused child's) Why isn't everybody going to see Puppet Pals? It's a really excellent movie the whole family can watch and enjoy together and the reviews have been mostly pretty good and-

MAN: (pointing a finger at her) Oh yeah? That's not what they say!

(A crowd of angry citizens gathers around them. Several are holding newspapers.)

BLOSSOM: They? Who's they?

All of the heroes grab papers away from the crowd and start reading, obscuring their faces, except Blossom, who takes one and her sisters read over her shoulder. We see the large headline above a picture of the monster breaking through the movie screen (Powerprof). It reads: 'Puppet Pals Movie: It Bites!'

BLOSSOM: Oh no! It says here that Egghead & Doper, on their live syndicated review show tonight, are giving the Puppet Pals Movie the thumbs down!

(Tight shot on Batman as he lowers the paper.)

BATMAN: Well, that's it, folks. This movie is officially toast.

(One by one the other heroes lower their papers.)

SUPERMAN: Badly burned toast...

FLASH: Egghead & Doper, man, that's like the kiss of death.

BUTTERCUP: Aw, what do they know. Half the time they got their thumbs up their-

(Blossom puts her hands over Buttercup's mouth. Buttercup pulls them away.)

BUTTERCUP: Noses! I was gonna say noses!

AQUAMAN: (shakes his head) Dead in the water...

VALHALLEN: 'Tis indeed a most major downer, dude!

The girls stand slumped with the other heroes around them. The professor kneels to comfort his girls.

PROFESSOR: Don't take it so hard, kids. It's only a movie. Besides, the important thing is that you liked it. It doesn't matter what other people think about what you enjoy.

GREEN LANTERN: Your father is right, kids. We all know the movie is good, and so will anyone else who sees it.

BUBBLES: But it's not fair! The people who made it worked very hard on it!

BLOSSOM: And now no one will go to see it!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: Well, I, for one, will go to see it again, and I will continue to tell those I know that they should, too.

FLASH: Yeah, I'm gonna get Diana to see it if I have to drag her!

(The rest of the Justice League finds that hilarious.)

SUPERMAN: I'd like to see you try! (more serious now) And you can do the same thing, girls. Tell all your friends to go see it. There is still that 'word of mouth' thing. Now, we all have to get home to our own cities. Maybe we can make it in time for the evening showing!

BUTTERCUP: What evening showing? They aren't showing it at night!

SUPERMAN: Oh. Well...keep the faith anyway, girls! Up, up and away!

(As he begins to take off, we cut to...)

STOCK SHOT-EXTERIOR OF GIRLS' HOUSE-NIGHT

(Cut to the living room. The girls are sitting on the floor in front of the TV set. The Professor is standing next to them.)

BUTTERCUP: All right, let's see what these clowns have to say!

PROFESSOR: Girls? I want you to promise me that you'll take whatever you hear with a grain of salt.

(Bubbles zips out of the picture and the others give her that 'oh, brother' look when she returns a moment later with the salt shaker.)

PROFESSOR: I meant, don't let what these guys say upset you.

BUBBLES: Oh.

(He sees Buttercup's fierce look as the 'Egghead & Doper and the Theatre graphic comes up on screen.)

PROFESSOR: Besides, it's not you I'm worried about...

(He sits on the couch and the show starts. We see two men sitting in an actual theater, now darkened and empty. The man on the left has a very rotund, egg-shaped body and a mop of gray hair. His name is REGGIE EGGHEAD. He wears a plain blue dress shirt and tan slacks with a dark tweed jacket patched at the elbows. On the right is DICKY DOPER, tall and thin with dark hair and half-closed eyelids. Both wear glasses. Doper's are tinted, presumably to hide his dilated pupils ;). He speaks in a somewhat slow, tired voice and slouches in his seat, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that hangs loosely.)

EGGHEAD: Good evening and welcome to our weekly look at the new theatrical releases. With me is my partner, Dicky Doper, and I'm Reggie Egghead.

DOPER: Uh, like, hi, everybody.

EGGHEAD: (gives Doper a look). Right. OK, then, on with the show. This important July 4^th holiday week was greatly anticipated. Newly released this week are the much-ballyhooed sequel to 'Alien-Ghostbusting Blues Brothers', the retry of the aborted 'Puppet Pals' leap to the big screen, and 'Like Me', something to do with a kid who accidentally becomes a supervillain.

DOPER: And has a really unbelievably long subtitle, to boot. What, do these dudes think they get paid by the word? (chuckles)

EGGHEAD: They certainly aren't being paid for the quality of their work. These three movies are a major disappointment. First up we have 'Like Me', a really pathetic piece of filmmaking. The premise of this film is, well, here, watch the clip...

(We see a teenage youth leaving a playground basketball game and cutting across a construction site with 'No Trespassing' signs. Without warning he is struck on the head by a steel girder. Above in the sky we see three little girls who are dressed like the Powerpuffs attacking something, hear them say, 'Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!' and a second later, a purple and white helmet lands at the boy's feet. He wakes up, sees it and puts it on, immediately going into a spiel about how he is the evil Mojo Jojo.)

BLOSSOM: You've got to be kidding me!

BUTTERCUP: What a rip-off!

BUBBLES: (bursting into tears) Professor! They stole my bestest story!

BUTTERCUP: What jerk made this thing, anyway?

(The film clip ends suddenly and we see the surprised faces of Egghead and Doper. They look at each other, then at the camera, and back at each other.

EGGHEAD: Mojo Jojo?

DOPER: Uh, I think that's what I heard. Dude, I swear, I had no idea...

EGGHEAD: You mean to tell me you didn't watch it?

DOPER: I thought it was your turn!

EGGHEAD: No, it was yours!

DOPER: Uh...like, what now, Reg?

EGGHEAD: Well, Dicky, as I was saying, 'Like Me' is filmmaking at it's most brilliant. Mojo Jojo must be very happy indeed with this wonderful movie adaptation of his life and I give it an enthusiastic thumbs up!

(He raises his arm as high as it will go and Doper joins him.)

DOPER: Two thumbs way, way up!

BLOSSOM: These guys are idiots! Who'd believe anything they say?

PROFESSOR: Never underestimate the American public, Blossom...

(Fade in to later in the show.)

EGGHEAD: ...and so, Dicky, we are in complete disagreement on this one. The sequel completely failed in its attempt to keep up with the Smiths and Joneses by giving us more of the same tired nonsense.

DOPER: What are you talking about, man? What's so bad about givin' everybody more of what they liked the first time? I thought it was great fun. You need to lighten up, Reg!

(Egghead shifts his bulk uncomfortably.)

PROFESSOR: In more ways than one...

(The girls giggle.)

BLOSSOM: Professor! That wasn't very nice!

EGGHEAD: So that's one thumb up and one down. Now, before we get to the final film of the week, which is about as weak as an animated feature can get, I think it's time to recap how that wonderful Dizzy production of 'Hyper & Bole', now in its third week in theaters, is doing. Dicky?

DOPER: Yeah. It's still packin' 'em in and it's easy to see why. What a genius story. Who'd ever think that a kid all hopped up on sugar and some blue alien reject would hit it off so well in this 'not-a-ripoff-of-Gremlins-and-ET'? Not that being hopped up on sugar is so bad. I loved it when the little guy went off on that dork who tried to force the kid to take his Ritalin. Great stuff, Reg!

EGGHEAD: Well, it's obvious that Dizzy knows how to make a fine family film and their animation is once again top-notch. In fact, Dizzy is the only studio that knows how to do animation. Blah, blah, blah...

(While Egghead continues to extol the virtues of the Almighty Dizzy Corporation...)

BUBBLES: What's wrong with the drawing in Puppet Pals? I like it just fine!

PROFESSOR: (standing up) Girls, I see what this is all about now. The company these guys work for is owned by Dizzy Corporation. They're nothing but paid pitchmen, running down the competition. They're going to trash any animated movie that isn't made by Dizzy. Let's not pay any more attention to them...

(He heads for the set to turn it off but before he can...)

DOPER: And that critter's name cracks me up every time! Heh, Bole! I think maybe I'll do a bowl before I go see it again.

EGGHEAD: For the last time, Dicky, it's 'Bo-LEE', not 'bowl'!

DOPER: It is? Oh, yeah...I forgot...again.(chuckles)

EGGHEAD: Well, doing a bowl might not be such a bad idea before going to see the abomination that is 'The Puppet Pals Movie'.

BUTTERCUP: Oh, here we go...don?t turn it off yet...

DOPER: Rilly. I wanted to, like, throw my popcorn at the screen, dude. Those 3-D effects were so cheesy I ordered my nachos plain! (chuckles)

EGGHEAD: And that isn't the worst of it. Why this franchise is even a success on the small screen is a mystery...any message the film is trying to get across is completely lost in the endless, mind-numbing bonking.

DOPER: No kidding. One guy hits another guy on the head. What's up with that?

BUBBLES: It's funny!

EGGHEAD: The only ones who'll get anything out of it are young boys who love senseless violence. I pity the parents who have to sit through it.

BUTTERCUP: They don't know what they're talkin' about! Do I look like a boy?

EGGHEAD: And another thing. After the first try at showing this film was met with that monster attack, I can't believe they had the gall to subject moviegoers to that sort of terror a second time.

BLOSSOM: What? But, the movie and the monster attack had nothing to do with each other!

DOPER: Yeah. I won't even waste my time giving it a thumb's down, 'cause it's obvious the cretins who made it don't have thumbs.

EGGHEAD: Indeed. Dicky, this movie is truly vile.

PROFESSOR: Oh, now that is just plain vicious. Those guys are going to get an angry letter from me!

DOPER: What's really strange, Reg, is that I hear the Puppet Pals have a big following among the superhero crowd. Jeez, I hope I never run into any of 'em!

GIRLS: What?!!

BUBBLES: You're gonna run into me, mister!

BLOSSOM: We'll see who doesn't have thumbs!

(The girls take off.)

BUTTERCUP: (as her words fade out) When I tear 'em off and shove 'em up your...

PROFESSOR: Girls! Wait! Come back! Oh, no...

NARRATOR: It's OK, Professor...she said nose...I heard her. But what can the girls possibly hope to accomplish with these influential but misinformed individuals?

(Cut to the girls flying in the sky with the city lights twinkling below.)

BUTTERCUP: Hey, aren't those guys in Chicago or something? Will we even be able to get there before they leave?

BLOSSOM: (grinning evilly) No problem, girls! Just think 'vile'!

(Her sisters' expressions quickly match hers and they disappear with a 'warp' effect.)

CUT TO-EXT-TV STUDIO-NIGHT

(The girls float outside of a large, old building with a neon sign saying WKMA-TV. A big poster on the front says 'Home of Egghead & Doper and the Theatre' and has their faces on it.)

BUBBLES: Well, here we are in the Windy City.

BUTTERCUP: Now let's go get those windbags!

BLOSSOM: Quietly, girls, let's try not to be seen until we know where they are.

(Cut to a dim hallway. Echoing laughter can be heard coming from somewhere. They look both ways cautiously. Blossom points down the hallway to the right.)

BLOSSOM: (echoing whisper) That way!

(Pan to a door with the words 'Studio 1B' and an 'ON THE AIR' neon sign above it. The sign is unlit.)

BUTTERCUP: (whispering) That's them!

(Cut to inside the studio, which is actually an old theater. Egghead and Doper are still sitting in their seats. A worker wheels the remaining bit of camera equipment out of the scene on a dolly. Pan to show three blinking sets of eyes in the dark, away from the pair of critics. Pan to P.O.V. of the girls as they watch and listen. The shot slowly moves in on Egghead and his partner.)

DOPER: Heh, I think Puppet Pals'll be in the cheapo theaters by next week, after what we did to it!

EGGHEAD: And none too soon. Good thing that Mojo piece of junk was live-action or we'd have had a tougher time trying to save our skins. Those Powerpuff Girls looked terrible in that. Even worse than the real ones. Can you imagine how awful they'd be, animated?

BUTTERCUP: Grrrr! Lemme at 'em!

BLOSSOM: Shhh! Not yet!

DOPER: Dude, I hate to tell you, but I hear they do got their own movie in the works.

BUBBLES: Hey! Nobody's 'sposed to know about that!

DOPER: Talk about your characters with no personality.

BUTTERCUP: C'mon, Blossom!

(Blossom is trying to hold her sisters back.)

BLOSSOM: Not yet. When I say so. We haven't heard anything really incriminating yet.

EGGHEAD: Say it isn't so! But, if Dizzy were to get hold of it instead, they could probably make it tolerable. Do something with those ridiculous oversized heads and give them fingers, for crying out loud!

BUBBLES: Blossom, please!

DOPER: Yeah. And give 'em some personality, Dizzy-style.

EGGHEAD: Ah, well, if it doesn't happen...

DOPER: (grinning) It'll make it that much easier to totally destroy them when we review it.

(The girls gasp.)

EGGHEAD: Won't that be fun. Especially when I take apart Miss Bunny Rabbit! (holds his fingers over his head in an imitation of Blossom's bow.)

BLOSSOM: Auugghhh!!!

(She charges at Egghead. Her sisters are right behind her. The critics see them coming and split up.)

EGGHEAD: Powerpuff Girls!

DOPER: Yikes!

GIRLS: Not so fast, Egghead & Doper!

(Doper heads down the stairs toward the floor and Egghead up toward the balcony exit. Buttercup nabs Doper and carries him by the collar to where Blossom is floating. Bubbles heads Egghead off.)

BUBBLES: (smiles smugly) Sorry, mister! The balcony is closed!

(She brings him by his collar and she and Buttercup drop the two roughly back into their seats. The three girls float above them, scowling down at them while they cower.

BLOSSOM: No personality, huh? Well, you're about to see some!

EGGHEAD & DOPER: NO!!!

BUTTERCUP: Oh, we're not going to hit you! See, there's those misconceptions again!

BLOSSOM: All we're going to do is give you our opinions of you!

BUBBLES: Yes. You see, you hurt our feelings very much with your very unkind remarks about our favorite show.

BUTTERCUP: A show that you obviously know nothing about!

BLOSSOM: Or the movie, which you never even bothered to see!

BUBBLES: If you did, then you'd know it wasn't any of those things you said it was.

BLOSSOM: You were mean-spirited for no good reason, and you owe all of Puppet Pal's many fans an apology. A lot of people believe what you say and won't go now.

BUTTERCUP: And you owe an apology to all the people who worked so hard to make it something that makes us fans proud of being fans. You think just because something's not made by Dizzy, it stinks. Well, who says things always have to be one way, huh?

BLOSSOM: And as far as the violence goes, anybody with half a brain understands the difference between absurd silliness and what happened in real life with that monster attack. You guys should have been smart enough to see that.

BUBBLES: It isn't all your fault people think it's only a movie for boys.

BLOSSOM: We're here to tell you it's not. And you have the power to help change those misconceptions.

BUTTERCUP: So, you see, we're not the one-dimensional little girlies you think we are. (points at Doper) We're even gonna let that cheap 'superheroes' remark of yours go.

DARK, FORBODING VOICE: (off-camera) But we will not!

(The girls and the critics gasp in shock. Fast pan to the two upper exits as dark shadows move in from both. They are revealed as the Justice Friends plus the Justice League, now including Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl. They slowly march down the steps and crowd in around the two critics, who look up nervously. The girls fly right up to the two female heroes, who smile at them, then join the entire group of newcomers in scowling downward.)

GIRLS: (joyful) Wonder Woman! Hawkgirl!

EGGHEAD and DOPER: Uh oh!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: (the 'voice' of a moment ago) So, you wish not to associate with the likes of us?

SUPERMAN: Yes, you two, your comments did not escape us.

DOPER: (cowering) Uh, no, man, I was just kidding!

VALHALLEN: Methinks thou speaketh the truth... not!

MAJOR GLORY: And now, prepare to have justice exacted upon you for your vile (emphasis on that word) deeds!

(Wonder Woman holds up her hands and Hawkgirl her wings.)

WONDER WOMAN and HAWKGIRL: Wait!

(The girls look surprised, as do the critics who think they're about to be spared.)

WONDER WOMAN: We are guilty of the same misconceptions. We too at first refused to see the movie, thinking it was not for us. But I found it quite enjoyable.

(She turns to a grinning Flash.)

WONDER WOMAN: The movie, Wally, not your company.

(His grin fades. The girls giggle.)

HAWKGIRL: And I'm glad we went! It was a blast!

KRUNK: (jumping up and down, making the whole place shake) Krunk want to see again!

BATMAN: (taking Krunk's arm) Easy, big guy, we will as soon as we finish here.

GREEN LANTERN: And now, prepare for your punishment!

(The girls look fearful, but not as fearful as the two cowering critics, who raise their hands to defend against what's coming.)

EGGHEAD and DOPER: NOOOOO!!!!

(All of the superheroes except the girls suddenly pull out foam 'bonkers' like the ones the kids in the theater had. Wonder Woman has three extra and gives the girls each one.

GIRLS: YAY!!!

(Even Martian Manhunter grins as they all start bonking Egghead and Doper, who quickly realize it isn't really violent at all, but fun. Soon, it turns into a melee and everyone is bonking everyone else, including the critics, who have managed to get their hands on bonkers themselves. Camera slowly pulls away from the big happy fight.)

NARRATOR: Ahahahahahaha!!! Sort of gives a whole new meaning to going bonkers, doesn't it?

(Fade into the girls and the professor, in front of the TV set as earlier, only now they all look much more relaxed. On screen are Egghead and Doper. They are both dressed in tuxes and in front of them on a table is a covered silver tray.)

EGGHEAD: And as we close out this week's show, the management has prepared us something special instead of the usual popcorn.

(Doper removes the lid with a flourish. Something black and vaguely bird-like is lying on the tray.)

EGGHEAD: Crow!

DOPER: Um, yeah. Last week, we sort of gave a bad review to a movie that we didn't know a whole lot about.

EGGHEAD: (covering up the tray) Actually, we didn't know anything about it. We allowed our preconceived notions and our biases against certain artistic styles to get in the way of our objectivity, and we didn't do our homework.

DOPER: In short, we forgot how to have fun. 'The Puppet Pals Movie' is a film that kids and superheroes of all ages can enjoy.

EGGHEAD: So when you go out to the movies this weekend, take the whole family to see 'The Puppet Pals Movie'. You'll go bonkers.

DOPER: Next week, we'll be previewing the eagerly awaited Powerpuff Girls movie. Can't wait for this one, Reg!

EGGHEAD: Same here, Dicky. Based on what I've seen so far, it's sure to change at least a few people's ideas of what little girls are made of.

GIRLS: YAY!

EGGHEAD: From my seat on the aisle, this is Reggie Egghead saying, 'til next week, see you at the theater!

(The show is over and the professor stands and turns off the TV.)

PROFESSOR: Nice job, girls. I'm so proud of how you handled this situation. The way you took off last week, I was worried you might do something rash.

BUTTERCUP: Oh, we were angry all right. But hitting those guys would've just proved them right.

BUBBLES: So we channeled our anger and used it in a positive way.

BLOSSOM: And we showed some of our biggest detractors a thing or two about one-dimensional superheroes, one-dimensional fans...and one-dimensional movie critics.

NARRATOR: Ah, well-put, Blossom. I just hope that when your movie comes out, I don't wake up to find that this was all a pipe dream.

(Closing sequence.)

NARRATOR: And so, the Puppet Pals Movie is saved...by its biggest little fans...the Powerpuff Girls!

THE END

 

 

Author's Note: No crows, real or fictional, were harmed during the making of this fanfic.

Gary Curtis

July 8, 2002