Toad: (in a cheesy voice) Hello and welcome to Iggy’s Castle Survivor! I’m Toad, the host of the event!
Peach: Toad! Stop acting so cheesy!
Mario: Cheese? Where?
Toad: But I worked forever on getting my show host voice just right!
Wendy: Right? You call that right?
Toad: …
Peach: Just speak in your normal voice, Toad.
Toad: (in his normal voice) We’re here with fifteen people who think they are deserving of the prize for winning this competition. And here they are!
Toad points off screen while Koopa the Quick turns the camera towards the fifteen contestants, none of which are looking directly at the camera.
Toad: … Heh heh. Seems like they’re out of it this morning…
Mario turns around and spots the camera.
Mario: CHEESE!!! Camera! Oh!
He runs up—er, into—the camera.
Mario: HI MOM!!! HI CHEESE!!! HELLO NICE PEOPLE IN THE T.V.!!!
Koopa the Quick: Mario! Get out of the camera!
Mario climbs out of the camera.
Mario: But it was fun in there!
Dani: How did he…
Crazykoopa: Don’t ask.
Toad: This is gonna be a long… several weeks.
Bowser: But it’ll be worth it when I win that prize!
Luigi: You’re right, when I when that prize!
Iggy: Oh…
Lemmy: …Geez.
Toad: Well, there are no sides, and you choose your own teammates… The whole deal is to be the last one standing at the end of this (really dumb) event!
Peach: What was that you muttered, Toad?
Toad: Um… I said, “I hit my thumb!”
Peach: Oh.
Crazykoopa: And she believed that?
Toad: Quiet! If she believes it; she believes it! Got it?
Crazykoopa: Er… Okay. …I guess.
Dani: So, we get to choose our own teammates?
Toad: That’s what I just said.
Iggy: I know…
Lemmy: …One of my teammates! Me, too!
No one else knew their teammates at the time, so everyone was silently staring at each other. Mario broke the silence at long last.
Mario: Last night was the hardest night of them all!
We reflect to the night before where Mario roasted marshmallows over an oven fire, went swimming in a sink, and attacked a rather large guy who was wearing a fur coat.
Luigi: …Mario, we were in a hotel last night!
Mario: But I saved everyone from that bear!
Luigi: Mario, that was Wario wearing a fur coat!
Peach: Coming to Mario’s defense here (although I don’t know why), you really couldn’t tell that was Wario. You can’t really blame Mario, can you?
Luigi: I can.
Crazykoopa reaches into a bag he brought along with him.
Crazykoopa: Crumb cake, yes!
He starts to eat the crumb cake.
Dani: I’m bored already!
Wendy: I think it’s stupid that we’re out here! I’m getting dirty and there’s insects crawling around everywhere!
Roy: You sure those insects aren't flies and that they’re flying around you for a reason?
Wendy: …
Daisy: Well, it’s been about ten minutes and already everyone is starting to go insane.
Ludwig: Well, half of everyone here are insane.
Daisy: Good point… I think.
Everyone sits around in a crowded…crowd. The twins are playing Tic-Tac-Toe in the sand, Roy and Ludwig are arm wrestling, Wendy is complaining, Morton would be talking, but his mouth had been taped shut, and Larry was staring at the grass. Mario was digging a hole, Luigi and Daisy were talking, Peach was brushing through her hair, and Dani and Crazykoopa were talking.
Toad: The ratings are gonna go down unless someone does something interesting.
Mario: Hey, look! I found a silver pipe! Pretty!
Mario uprooted the Dark Land’s water pipes. He got sucked into it while screaming “Whee! Free ride!!” Everyone looked at the pipe, then shrugged.
Luigi: Well, so saves us from the main moron around here.
Roy looks at Morton.
Roy: You’re next.
Morton pulls the tape off his mouth.
Morton: Ow! Hey! What do you mean I’m next? I’m not next and I know that I’m not because I’m the one who’s more than likely gonna win this game!
Roy: Shut up! And the reason I say that you’re next is because your name is very close to “moron.”
Moron: Is not! Hey!! Who spelled my name wrong!?
Mario comes flying out of the pipe holding a “T.”
Mario: I found a “T” lying around! It’s my pet!
Crazykoopa: What’d you name it?
Luigi: Dare you ask…
Mario: I named him A!
Everyone falls over.
Dani: But it’s a “T.”
Mario: His name is A!!!!
Dani: Okay… I’m gonna go over here now.
Dani scoots away from Mario slowly.
Larry: Wait! How can you tell that it’s a guy?
Everyone glances over at Larry, who blinks.
Larry: Um… never mind.
Iggy: Good plan. Last thing we need…
Lemmy: …Is Mario telling how he knows that “T” is a guy!
Ludwig: The “T” isn’t even alive!!!
Mario glares in horror at Ludwig.
Mario: A is…dead!? Waaah!! He’s dead!! And I didn’t even get to teach him how to run into his first wall!
Mario runs off with the “T,” crying.
Kamek: What a spirited performance.
Bowser: I give it a one.
Peach: I give it a five.
Roy: I hate all of you.
There is a slight pause.
Crazykoopa: Okay, who hit the Pause button?
Morton: Oops! Sorry.
Morton takes his hand off the Pause button and everyone unfreezes.
Larry: This is been, well, interesting. Is it voting time yet?
Wendy: We’ve only been here one hour! But it feels like eternity! One as beautiful as I shouldn’t be in such conditions!
Peach: Well, you won’t be here much longer. No one likes you anyways.
Peach grins as Wendy mutters something under her breath. The two suddenly start fighting.
Daisy: Hey! …I wanna beat up Peach, too!
Daisy jumps into the fight for no real reason whatsoever. During all the commotion, Iggy hears something in the bushes nearby.
Iggy: What the? What’s that noise?
Lemmy: What noise?
Iggy: The noise I just heard.
Lemmy: You mean my voice?
Iggy: No, the noise I just heard.
Lemmy: Which was your voice?
Iggy: Forget it.
Lemmy: Got it.
Lemmy walks off. You can hear him talking to Larry…
Larry: Lemmy, where’d you put that bag with the tents in it?
Lemmy: I forgot.
Larry: What!?
Lemmy: Iggy told me to forget it.
The noise from the bushes grows louder, catching Dani’s attention.
Dani: Huh?
Crazykoopa: What?
Dani: I thought I heard something.
Crazykoopa: This isn’t a joke, is it?
Dani: Do I look like Lemmy?
Crazykoopa: With the right costume, yes!
Dani: Never mind. Let’s go see what’s causing that noise.
Crazykoopa: Okay.
The two of them walk over to the bushes cautiously…
From the bushes….
Voice 1: Why didn’t we just ask them?
Voice 2: No! Quiet! If they hear us we’ll be in big, fat trouble and….I sense danger….
Voice 1: I sense hair….it’s not fair because I wanna have hair and my head is bare!
Crazykoopa: Mind if I throw a chomp in there?
Dani: We don’t want to cause harm to them….though they shouldn’t be spying…spying isn’t always a good thing…
Larry(still watching the grass): Hey! I heard that!
Crazykoopa: I’m going in…in…IN!!!!
The wacky koopa jumped into the bush….and a Sledge Brother and a goomba ran out as blasts of ice shot out of the bush..
Goomba: I told you that was a bad spot!
Sledge Brother: Shhh, I’m on the phone here!
The sledge brother takes out a walkie talkie and talks into it.
Sledge Brother: Uh huh….really?!? You coulda told me I was in another game besides SMW and SMB3! Anyway….yeah….okay….
He “hangs up” and turns towards Crazykoopa and Dani.
Sledge Brother: My boss says that she wants this show to be worth it, we need to record everything that goes on and-
Dani: We already have it being broadcasted.
Crazykoopa: And LIVE!!!! Around the entire world!
Goomba: C’mon! The boss says she’s going to be fired….out of a cannon if we don’t fill in that BIG time-slot with a new show!
Dani: Sure.
Crazykoopa: Why not?
Goomba: Yay! Our boss won’t fly through that big billboard!
They ran off behind a tree and brought their equipment out.
Dani: How long has that been there?
Sledge Bro.: Uhh….1,434434 days.
Goomba: Okay, just ignore us and umm….do stuff.
Sledge Bro.: Why don’t you make me a balloon aminal?
Goomba: It’s animal, not aminal.
Sledge Bro: I don’t care! That’s showbiz!
Goomba: Incorrect!
Meanwhile, back with everyone else….
Crazykoopa: 345, 346, 347! Yes! That’s a lot of bites and I still have some left!
Bowser: Kamek!
Kamek: What?
Bowser: Respect! Never say “What?” to me!
Kamek: Huh?
Bowser picked Kamek up and folded him into a paperplane. Thus, throwing him and making the Magikoopa become trapped in a tree.
Bowser: Oops.
Toad walks over to everyone in a gamehost’s suit.
Toad: This thing’s hot! C’mon! Can’t I dress normally?
Peach: There’s nothing wrong with that , Toad.
Daisy: It’s only green, rainbow-colors, with a bow-tie and matching tap-dancing shoes.
Both princesses couldn’t hold back their laughter anymore and broke down in tears, laughing.
Roy: Time for another picture!
He snapped a photo and hid it.
Toad: Are you all done yet?
Peach, Daisy, and Roy: NO!
An hour later…
Peach, Daisy, and Roy: Done!
Toad: Zzzzzzz…..pizza….zzzzz….
Morton: Why is he talking while he is sleeping though it is hilarious and something I should’ve recorded all this time since it’s a classic and I could probably win money and golden coins for this and also-
Roy finally gets up again from arm-wrestling with Ludwig and super-glues Morton’s lips together.
Morton: Mmmmmbbb!!!
Toad: Okay, okay, places everyone! The teams are decided, right? Good! Anyway, here’s the line-up since no one else was daring enough to set it up.
Wendy: Quiet shrimp, before I throw you on the barby!
Larry: That’s my line!
Toad pulls a scoreboard from behind a thin tree.
Toad: It goes as follows…. Mario and Larry, Wendy and Luigi, Kamek and Iggy, Roy and Lemmy, Dani and Bowser, and Crazykoopa and Morton.
Several characters complained about the line-up.
Dani: I thought you said that we could pick our own teams.
Toad: This is more organized.
Roy: Hey, partner! Lemme hold that ball for a sec…
Lemmy: No, wait! Ack! *thud*
Roy bounces Lemmy’s ball and throws it back at him.
Toad: Quiet everyone!!!
Crazykoopa, wacko-head: This is only the first week and it’s already going..uhh….looney. I hope there’s a crumbcake eating contest.
Lakitu: This camera’s getting heavy! Let’s get down to the first contest!
Toad: Ok! There are 4 tricycles….and one skateboard…then, there is a basket with each two team members’ initials on it…on the other side there is a humongous container which is constantly being replenished with fruits. The team with the most fruits in their basket wins!!!!
Roy: This is gonna be easier than tricking Mario into eating moldy cheese!
Mario: I knew that cheese you gave me tasted funny….
Toad: Ok, on your mark, get set, GO!!!!!
Larry’s team shot ahead ran right pass the vehicles and grabbed a watermelon each, just as they did Crazykoopa’s team , Roy’s and Dani’s reached the basket, all of them using the quite small tricycles, Crazykoopa and Morton grabbed an abnormally big watermelon and a berry, Roy’s team grabbed a grapefruit, lemon, lime, and a kiwi, while Dani’s team rolled a large cherry towards their basket. Iggy’s team took up a really heavy mango and rolled it back…however things weren’t going as well for Wendy and Luigi….
Wendy: You expect me to get on that piece of junk called a skateboard?!
Luigi: Just play along!
Wendy: No!
Toad: This is quite impressive! Oh yeah, remember this….it matters on how many pieces of fruit you have…not the size!
Iggy: Argh….phew….why is this thing so heavy?!? It’s only a cherry!
He poked it with his wand and the red paint came off…
Iggy: A boulder?!?
Toad: Yeah, we had to make a few twists! Oh…Wow! Let’s take a look at the scoreboard and the time left on the clock!
The camera switches to the board which reads:
Mario & Larry…10 pieces
Wendy & Luigi... 2 pieces
Kamek & Iggy…5 pieces
Roy & Lemmy…7 pieces
Crazykoopa & Morton…9 pieces
Dani & Bowser…8 pieces
After a couple more minutes of running / riding back and forth…
Toad: Whoa! 59 seconds left! And It’s close between Crazykoopa, Dani, and Iggy’s team! With Roy’s team VERY close behind!
Crazykoopa: Let’s go all the way!
Crazykoopa carried 4 lemons in his tricycle, Morton carried 4 sets of grapes back, Dani carried back 5 strawberries, Bowser carried several kiwis…which sprouted spikes and ran away, and Iggy rode back with 8 bananas and a big bushel of them together…Roy’s team made it back after the first three…
Toad: Time’s almost up!!!! 5….4….
Roy switched Larry’s basket of 20 fruits with his basket of 13….then, Mario and Larry ran back at the last second and dropped in several guavas, mangos, dragonfruit, and some grapes.
Toad: Time’s up!!!!!! Time to count and see who wins this challenge…decided which characters get to stay where….
He walked over to Dani and Bowser’s first….
Toad: Let’s see….hmm….14…
On Crazykoopa's and Morton’s basket….
Toad: Let’s see……whoa! A set of grapes is worth 5 points each and you two got 4 of them!
Along with your other fruits…33 points! Now onto Roy & Lemmy…20…
Lakitu: Hey, Toad!
Toad: What???
Lakitu: I’ve got some recorded footage from the contest, take a peek!
Toad ran over and saw the sneaky plan of Roy and Lemmy in action…
Toad: Welll….I’ll just switch these two again….
He switched the two baskets and counted the fruits again….
Toad: Roy and Lemmy have…30 since during the change…Larry and Mario…put some fruits inside…Larry and Mario actually have….31, so they have a higher score anyway!
Larry: Nyah!
Toad: Wendy and Luigi…6 pieces…yikes…and FINALLY, Kamek and Iggy…
Iggy: That was who my partner was? I think he went to buy some Koopa Kola…
Kamek falls out of a tree and automatically unfolds himself.
Kamek: What did I miss?
Iggy: The first contest.
Kamek: Aww nutter-butter…
Toad: Let’s see how Hop has held-up against the competition…while his partner was trapped in a tree…hmm…yes…uh huh…Okay!
Mario: What is it, Mr. Rock E?
Toad: Quiet, Mario!
Mario: You ROCK , Mr. Rock E!!!!!
Toad: Silence!!!!
Mario: I met him before…he’s corny….like carrots…
A fuzzy floats into Mario and he dances around like a nutcracker…..
Mario: Yay!!!!
Toad: Okay, Iggy….err….Hop…
Mario: Hop, Hop Donut Lifts!!!!
Roy force feeds a plastic glove into Mario’s mouth.
Toad: Finally! Iggy’s team has….aieeeee!!!!!! Bananas equal 9 points each! Big blow-out! Iggy’s team wins!!!!!
Iggy: I won! WOOOT!!!!
Roy: That was really rigged…I know it….
Toad: Now….the winning team gets to take one team to a mansion!
Kamek: Very magnificent prize, fungified one.
Toad: Quiet, old loser.
After a while of Mario’s dancing and a term of thinking….
Iggy: I’ll take….Dani and King Dad.
Bowser: Good choice.
Toad: Okay then, the rest of you will be escorted by GrassLand’s Piranha Plant Pilferers…those Shyguys over there…to the Splotch Slot! An…okay hotel…
While the rest of the teams were escorted…
Toad: Here we are….at the B.O.S.S Mansion.
Dani: What does B.O.S.S stand for?
Toad: Big, Odd, Scary, Spooky Mansion.
Iggy: Is there anything good about it?
Toad: It has cushiony beds, night-lights, and everything walks around at night…
The four others let off a slight shiver…
Toad: It has nice spooky music for you though…and a 6 star breakfast…
Once Toad finished talking...
Toad: Here we are!!! Two rooms! Sleep well! I know I will!
Toad walked away and the others in their rooms of the mansion attempted to sleep…
Creak…
Iggy: What was that?
Creakkkkkkk…
Bowser: Probably a rat…
CREAKKKKK……THUD!
BANG!
Iggy: Ack!!!!
He fell out of bed, while Bowser fell asleep in a matter of seconds…
Iggy: *sigh* This is going to a long time…..
Voice: You bet it is! I wanted to eat in that first contest!!!!
Iggy: !!!!!
To be continued...
Go back to the Library.
Go back to the Castle Grounds from here.