WHAT STUPID PEOPLE DO IN THE BATHROOM

Since most people are morons who don't know anything, I've compiled a list of things NOT to do in the MEN'S bathroom. (I'm not female, and I don't give a shit about what goes on in their bathroom.) Take this list to heart and do what it says, or risk having a running chainsaw up your ass if I see you doing this.

  • TALKING WHILE YOU DO YOUR BUSINESS
  • Shut up. No one wants to hear you talk while your dick is hanging out, (unless their gay, in which case they might find that very erotic.) Talking while you piss is like talking to someone on the sidewalk with your penis peeking out like a groundhog on groundhog day.

  • GRUNTING WHILE YOU CRAP
  • "UUUHHH! C'MON, UUUUUHHH! *SPLASH* Oh, yeah, that was good." I find that very annoying. People who grunt while they crap make me want to puke. If you're constipated, drink some laxitives, out of courtesy. Please. Whenever you grunt, I feel your pain and I don't like it. Yuck.

  • GOING DIARRHEA
  • If you need to go diarrhea, do it some place else. It's just so disgusting hearing someone moan with pain while the sound of flowing excrement fills the bathroom.

  • LOOKING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S SCHLONG WHILE YOU PISS
  • I swear, we need to create bathrooms for gay people

  • PULLING YOUR PANTS DOWN WHEN USING THE URINAL
  • Little kids usually do this. They run in like wild animals while screaming "Gotta pee! Gotta pee!" at the top of their lungs. Then they walk up to the little baby urinal and pull their pants all the way down as they stand on their tiptoes just so their tiny dicks can actually point into the urinal. Why do they pull their pants all the way down? Because they want us to see their little asses. You might as well get completely naked if you're gonna pull your pants down, you gay piece of shit. I wonder how you'd like pulling your pants all the way down with my foot lodged deep in your rectum, fag.

  • SITTING ON THE TOILET TO TAKE A PISS
  • Like I said, we need to create bathrooms for gay people. Only sissies, gays, and old people sit on the toilet to piss, and those people should be stabbed in the windpipe. Sitting down just to take a piss makes you less of a man.

  • CRAPPING AND/OR PISSING ON THE FLOOR
  • I think this is self-explanatory.

  • MASTURBATING IN THE STALL
  • One time I was at a gas station and I went to take a piss. I walked through the door and there was an open stall with a guy jacking off to a porn magazine that he just bought in the little quick mart. Gross. I shot his head off with a shotgun.

    I just can't continue. I'm so pissed off my head is spinning.


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    © THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD 2003
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