Dr. Pepper Commercials: Promoting Individuality, or are they?

Am I the only one who noticed how hypocritical the current Dr. Pepper ad campaign is? Of course, I'm the best person in the world. Every commercial has some recording artist singing some crap to the effect of:

The Taste of Dr. Pepper
The Taste of Originality
Salutes Individuality
Gives Life Personality
Be You, Do What You Do
Nothing's Better Than Dr. Pepper

Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with this? Oh yeah, the taste of originality is really artificial, factory-produced, carbonated liquid. Soda is so original, that's why there are no less than 1,000 kinds of soda worldwide. Not to mention the fact that Dr. Pepper is made from spice and flavor extracts. Guess what, my birthday cake used spice and flavor extracts. Copying another object's ingredients is the epitome of originality.

Aren't we to say what originality is like? How the hell does "originaity" taste like anything anyway? If anyone thinks that "originality" has a taste should have their genitals thrown into a furnace. You wanna drink something original, you dimwitted assholes? Drink this:


The rest of the commercial implies that Dr. Pepper is for individuals and that ALL individual people should drink Dr. Pepper. If ALL individual people drank Dr. Pepper, doesn't that make them LESS unique and individual? I can just imagine some moron actually buying into this pig shit, telling his loser friends, "Notice that I'm drinking Dr. Pepper. I'm doing this to be an individual. Individual people drink Dr. Pepper." Asshole.

What really amazes me is that Dr. Pepper has the stupidity to put the phrase "be you, do what you do" into their damn comercials because it contradicts the whole point of an ad campaign. Since Dr. Pepper is OK with me doing what I do, I'll go ahead and NOT buy Dr. Pepper. In fact, I'll go buy a Sprite instead. Dumbasses. Another shitty attempt by Dr. Pepper to get more customers. After the "Dr. Pepper makes the world taste better" horse shit ad campaign, we get our balls slammed with an even dumber campaign, featuring the shittiness of Garth Brooks singing "Be you, do what you do" in his country music voice that pisses me off to the point where diarrhea can just leak out of my ass. I'd rather have my eyes gorged out by angry cannibal midgets that listen to any of Dr. Pepper's advertising bullshit.

Send me hate mail at: ihateallthings1@yahoo.com