DANCES SUCK

Every once in a while people get realy bored; bored to the point where they will even drink gallons of water just so they can write their name on the wall by pissing on it. I recently had the great misfortune of being that bored. To prove the extent of my boredom, I will say this: I went to my school's homecoming dance just to be not bored.

That's right, I was so bored that I went to a dance. I expected just to go to see something merely amusing, but I got even more bored. The place was covered with swarms of horny teenage boys and alien high school girls from hell going crazy and dancing. That pisssed me off. Then I stood horrified in great shock as people began play grab ass to that lousy half-talk, half-music shit more commonly known as "rap", "hip-hop", and "the kind of music that pisses me off so much that if I see anyone listening to it I pull out my chainsaw and cut them in half, unless you happen to be a hot babe and in which case I'll pork you sooo good, better than you've ever had it done before". I was in such shock that I shit on the floor out of disbelief. I went to the restroom to finish off my turd, but it turns out that the little boys' room is full of people making out. People making out in a bathroom makes me puke. *BARF* I mean these are the people who are afraid to touch a snail because they say it's gross, but they are making out on walls that have been sprayed on with diarrhea and piss for months . I'm not the only one who finds something wrong with this picture, am I?

I went to the stall to take a crap, but each one was filled with a guy and girl making out. So since I figured that they didn't mind making out in a piss-and-shit-covered stall, I took a crap on them. The guy got pissed and got up to kick my ass, but I chopped his balls of with a chainsaw. *BZZZT* Then I porked his girlfriend and I flushed both of them down the toilet.

The thing that pissed me off the most was the fact that I had to buy a ticket that cost $10.00 just to piss away 3 hours of my life. I mean if I wanted to piss away 3 hours of my life, I can always watch MTV. I expected there to be a buffet with a special Soup of Dog, BUT NO. It was full of stupid morons who think that dancing is fun. BAH. To try to make up for the lost 3 hours, I tried wanking off for 3 hours straight. It was OK for a while, but then my dick fell off. I had to hot glue it back on. True story.


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