Yes, this method has been proven effective in both stopping the production of acids and getting rid of the burning pain it causes. This method is guaranteed to work. This has been tested A BUNCH OF TIMES and works a whopping 100% of the time. YES, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT! How is such a breakthrough possible? Simple. It was devised by the greatest genius of all time. This man, after nights of endless research and hours of study, came up with this amazing method. Wait, disregard that last sentence. This man is such a genius that he came up with the idea in less than 3.7 seconds. That's right, 3.7 seconds. Who is the man who came up with this brilliant discovery? Who is a man who posesses such ingenuity that allows him to devise this method in UNDER 3.7 seconds? It's me.
Now, back to the method. It is a method so simple yet so effective that you only have to use it once and your body will no longer be subject to the pain of heartburn. This method kicks so much ass that it will actually COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN YOUR STOMACH'S ABILITY TO CREATE ACIDS. Do you use today's purple pill called Nexium? Well now you don't have to! Get rid of that crap! May I present the most kickass method to PERMANENTLY get rid of heartburn!
STEP 1:Come to my clinic at the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago FREE OF CHARGE! All my services are complimentary
STEP 2: Jump off
STEP 3: SPLAT!
It's as simple as that. Say goodbye to sleepless nights and unbearable meals due to hearburn! Does this method kick ass or what?
*NOTE: side effects that have occurred in tests include, but are not limited to, broken limbs, peeled skin, and loss of sight. Paralysis is another common side effect. Ask your doctor and see if this method is right for you (which it probably is, since it KICKS ASS.)