"Blair I just don’t get it." Jim Ellison shook his head as he turned down another street in the railroad district.

"Don’t get what Big Guy?" Blair chuckled "I mean we’re friends that’s it."

"That’s my point Chief. How long have you known her?" The sentinel asked.

"Twelve years." He smiled as he remembered the day he first met her.

"So, in twelve years you’ve never asked her out?" Jim was still shaking his head.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

The question surprised him, why did Jim want to know? And what was this sudden interest with his personal life anyway. "You think I should?"

"No, uh that’s not what I mean. I’m just curious as to why you two have never dated." Jim truthfully was curious, he’d seen how the two of them interacted with one another. They had a relaxed, natural, affectionate and physical relationship. Blair always had an arm around her shoulders or he held her hand and he would never forget the tickle fight he’d witnessed a few days before. His partner seemed more at ease with this woman than with any other he’d dated since Jim had known him. Yet Jim hadn’t even known Emma existed until several months before.

"You want the truth?" Blair interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah."

"Well when we first met, I had a desperate crush on her." he chuckled again at some of the insanely stupid things he’d done to get her attention. "And I was just flat out scared to ask her out."

"You? I can’t imagine."

"Give me a break man I was Seventeen and she was…older." He waggled his eyebrows. "Anyway we had a couple of Gen. Ed classes together and I finally got up the nerve to ask if she wanted to study together and she said yes. We wound up doing a lot more talking than studying. No one could ever make me laugh like she could. She still has a wicked sense of humor. So we became really good friends and have been ever since."

"So you never thought about taking things to the next level?"

Blair shook his head adamantly. "No way man! Why risk it? I mean neither of us have the best track record with the opposite sex-."

"So you’re saying if she wanted to…you’d say no." Jim glanced at his partner to gauge his reaction.

The younger man chuckled. "She’s had twelve years man, if she were interested in that she would have said something by now."

"Maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move."

This time Blair laughed out loud. "No woman is that patient."

"You never know, Chief. You never know." Jim pulled to a stop behind a black Nissan Altima at a railroad crossing. He hoped the train wasn’t a long one, he was already pushing late for their meeting with a snitch. He groaned inwardly as the train began to slow, eventually coming to a stop. "Damnit!" he swore quietly. He was about to back up when a Grand Cherokee sped around the corner. Jim managed a brief oath before the SUV slammed into them.

The force of the collision pushed Jim’s truck into the rear end of the Altima forcing the smaller car through the lowered barriers and into the stationary train, the car crumpled to half it’s original size. The violent impact sent both passengers of the older truck forward into the dashboard connecting painfully as the front of the truck was forced back into the cab. Afterward there was no sound or movement within the vehicles involved. The bells of the railroad crossing clanged on indifferently as smoke and steam rose from the wreckage obscuring the scene.

"Help me! Oh God, somebody please help me!"

The panicked screams sounded distant in the sentinel’s ears, but it was a sound much closer that brought awareness slamming back into his body. His eyes shot open and in a horrifying instant he took in the chaos round him though what was outside was not near as important as what was inside and a strangled moan brought his focus solely to the man beside him. "Chief?" His partner groaned again and the heart rate that Jim had tuned into to instinctively, skyrocketed. The younger man turned his head quickly toward Jim and cried out in pain. "Easy Blair don’t move. Where does it hurt?" Jim forced calm into his voice as he picked up on the tremors that began to rattle his guide’s body.

Blair fought against the crippling pain in his chest to answer the question. Inspite of his efforts he could not draw enough air into his aching lungs to speak and he began to panic weakly trying to push himself away from the crushing weight pressing against his chest. He couldn’t breathe, his whole body began to tingle as each cell fought for what little oxygen remained in his system. His muscles spasmed, arms and legs twitched involuntarily as his body began to shut down. He was aware of what was happening and helpless to stop it as slowly he continued to suffocate.

Jim searched frantically for a way to extricate the smaller man from his deadly position, keeping himself tuned into his partners failing signs of life. Blair was pinned between the seat and the dash, his side of the truck having been crumpled further into the cab. Seeing no other options he slid over as far as he could wrapping an arm around Blair’s shoulders, supporting his head against his own shoulder, he slipped the other across his guides chest and placed his legs firmly against the floor board pressing back with all of his strength he gained enough space to pull Blair to him and away from the vice that had him pinned. He listened to the sluggish heartbeat but quickly realized the younger man was not going to breathe on his own. Jim forced open the driver’s side door and pulled his friend out of the truck lowering him to the ground. He knew he was risking further injury to his partner but there were no choices. His guide was dying. He gently supported Blair’s neck as he tilted his head back, parting the smaller mans blue tinged lips he covered Blair’s mouth with his own and began to breathe for him. "Come on Chief." He whispered as he waited for a response, after the third set of breaths the observers lungs expanded on their own. Jim was flooded with relief as a second later Blair took another breath and coughed weakly. Jim continued a quiet litany of assurances as the younger mans breathing settled into a steady rhythm. He scanned his partner for other injuries detecting several cracked ribs. He could feel the cracked sternum as well. He felt carefully along Blair’s neck and was relieved to find no damage to his spine in that area. The anthropologist’s forehead was bruised from where it most likely connected with the dash but he could find no other serious external injuries. There was still a danger of internal injuries and he knew his guide needed to get to a hospital as soon as possible. He pulled out his cell phone and called for help. The accident had happened only minutes ago but it had seemed like n eternity to the sentinel.

"Jim."

He found himself looking into his guide’s glazed eyes. "You’re okay chief." He rested his hand on the observer’s forehead careful of the bruised area.

Blair gave a barely perceptible nod. "Hurts to breathe." He whispered.

"I know buddy, you’ve got a few cracked ribs. It’ll be okay though just take shallow breaths alright?"

Blair nodded again. "Anyone else hurt?"

Jim extended his hearing picking up a frantic heart beat coming from the crumpled Altima and nothing coming from the Cherokee. He saw the bloody impressions on the shattered windshield and knew both driver and passenger were dead.

"Oh my God!"

The barely audible exclamation brought Jim’s attention back to his injured partner. The young man’s eyes were wide and staring at the Cherokee. "Oh my God!" He whispered again as he brought questioning eyes back to his sentinel. Jim shook his head. "The driver of the other car is alive." He said as he glanced at the totaled vehicle and wondered how anyone could have survived in the car.

"Go check." Blair saw the older man’s hesitation. "Go help." He insisted. "I’m okay. Help the driver…no one else needs to die today." As punctuation to his statement the desperate screams rose from the car again.

"Oh God! Please help me…Please, I don’t want to die here…. not alone."

"Jim go." Blair pled.

The detective nodded to his partner checking again to make sure he was comfortable and went to the car. He was not prepared for what he found inside the car. A young man, no more than twenty hopelessly pinned. The front end of the car was literally resting on the boy’s abdomen. Sickness gripped him as he realized he was looking at a dead man, only this one was still breathing and talking.

"Help me, please help me." The kid whimpered when he saw the older man approach.

Jim swallowed hard against the bile rising in his throat. "Help’s on the way. Just try to relax." He assured the young man. "What’s your name?"

"Tom." He answered quietly. "But everyone still calls me Tommy."

Jim forced a small smile. "What do you prefer?"

The boy chuckled slightly. "Tom, but no one seems to notice."

"Okay Tom, I’m Jim. Are you in any pain?" Jim asked knowing it was a pointless question.

Tom shook his head. "Not really but I can’t feel anything below my chest?" he looked at the older man. "Am I gonna die, Jim?"

He hesitated, how could he answer that? Yes, this kid was going to die, but how could he tell him that. ‘Sorry Tom but that engine block across your stomach is the only thing keeping you alive.’ He couldn’t do that. The boy had read the look on his face and let him off the hook.

"It’s okay Jim…I know it’s bad." The calm voice was betrayed by wide disbelieving eyes. The kid knew.

"I’m sorry Tom."

Tears filled the young eyes as Jim picked up the wail of sirens in the distance. "They’re coming aren’t they?" he asked.

"Yes, they’ll be here soon."

"I want to say goodbye to my mom." He whispered. "But it’ll upset her, I don’t want her to be upset. Will it hurt?"

"I don’t know Tommy." Jim looked at the young man and felt his heart crumble. There was nothing he could do to save him, not one of his extraordinary abilities were any use, another member of his tribe he was unable to protect.

The boy was chuckling again. "You did it to. Guess I was just meant to be a Tommy."

"Sorry-."

"Don’t be, it’s okay I really don’t mind." He trailed off and his eyes became distant.

Jim felt a momentary flash of panic. He needed this kid to stay alive, maybe he was wrong, maybe they would be able to save him, he just had to keep him talking. "Come on kid, stay with me here."

"I’m here…I was just thinking." He answered

"About what Tommy?"

"Stuff I haven’t done. I was gonna graduate in May."

‘You’re going to graduate Tommy…God please don’t let this kid die, not here, not now!’ Jim prayed silently. "From college?" he asked.

The young man shook his head and grinned. "High school man. I was going to ask Cindy Lewis to prom." A smile lit up his face. "She’s really beautiful and she likes me."

"I’m sure she’d say yes."

Sadness clouded the kid’s eyes. "I don’t want to die, Jim."

Before Jim could respond the ambulance and rescue crews pulled up. "Tommy help’s here, I’m going to check on my partner, but I promise you I’ll be right back."

"You’re a cop?" he asked

Jim nodded. "Yep."

"Cool!" he answered and then frowned. "Is your partner hurt?"

"Yes, but he’ll be okay and we’re going to get you out, so hold tight alright?"

"Okay Jim."

Jim went back to his partner who was quietly answering the first paramedic’s questions. He addressed the second paramedic. "You’ve got a kid pinned in his car there, it’s bad, looks like most of the engine is resting on his lower torso. He’s conscious and responsive, no sign of head trauma." The other man nodded and went to evaluate Tommy. "How ya doing, Chief? He asked as he knelt beside his guide.

Blair managed a small smile. "Okay."

"Liar." Jim teased gently.

Blair’s expression became serious. "I heard Jim."

Jim nodded, not able to say what he knew was true. He was unwilling to accept the fact the kid was going to die and he continued to pray for a miracle that would never come. "Let’s just worry about getting you put back together again."
Blair reached out and grabbed his sentinel’s arm. "Stay with him. Jim stay with him…it’s important."

Jim sat back on his heels and stared at the younger man for a long moment. Yes, it was important, but so was Blair. "Chief I-."

"I’ll be fine-."

‘Don’t make me do this Chief’ he pled silently. "You weren’t breathing a little while ago-."

"But I am now, I will be fine." He stressed. "He needs you. He needs someone to be with him." ‘I know what it’s like to die alone.’ Blair added silently.

Jim understood and he accepted his responsibility. "Okay." He whispered. "I’ll be there as soon as I can."

"I know Jim."

The sentinel watched as they loaded his guide into the ambulance then turned and faced the Altima, preparing himself to be witness to the end of a life.

"Where’s Jim?" The sentinel heard Tommy’s shaky voice ask. "He said he was coming back."

Jim quickly crossed into the boy’s line of sight. "Right here Tommy." The look of relief that crossed the young man’s face tore at the detective’s heart.

"Sorry," the kid smiled weakly. "I uh, couldn’t see you… Is your partner okay?"

"He’ll be fine." Jim assured seeing the genuine concern reflected in Tommy’s eyes and amazed that with all the boy was going through he was concerned about a man he didn’t even know.

"Good." a pensive look crossed the boy’s expressive face. "Did anyone call my mom?" he asked quietly. "I really should talk to her before…" he trailed off a look of fear and grief flashing briefly through his eyes.

Jim looked to the team working on the young man, a medic, Ron Bailey whom Jim had known for some time, met the sentinel’s gaze with a brief shake of the head confirming what Jim already knew. "I’ll check Tommy, okay?" Jim fought to keep his voice even and stepped away, Ron followed and the detective turned to face him. "There’s nothing?"

"I’m sorry, Jim. I wish there were. Once we relieve the pressure across his torso, he’ll bleed out. There is no way to get to him to get a pressure suit on. I’m sorry." The older medic looked at a loss, the sadness in his eyes mirrored Jim’s own.

"We need to call his mother-." Jim began.

"I’m not sure that’s a good idea"

"He has the right to say goodbye." Jim’s tone brokered no argument. He would move heaven and earth if he had to in order to get this kids mother by his side.

"Okay, I’ll make the call."

The boy’s eyes tracked Jim back to the wrecked Altima. "They’re calling her now Tommy."

"Is she going to come here?"

"Is that what you want?"

Tears spilled onto the young man’s pale face. "Yeah." He whispered.

"Okay." Jim reached through the shattered window and placed his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. "Then we’ll bring her here."

They lapsed into silence, each wrestling with the inevitable. There would be no miracle for the young man, his life was now measured in minutes, hours at the most. His dreams would remain forever dreams. His final wish would be granted and he would rest in his mother’s arms.

"Jim?"

"Yeah Tommy."

The young man raised bright green eyes in gratitude. "Thanks for staying."

"It’s important." The sentinel echoed his guide’s words. "I’ll be here as long as you need me." ‘And long after that.’ He added to himself. He would stay until the end, protecting the fragile life as long as he could. He would hear the final beat of Tommy’s heart, feel his final breath against his skin, as it became a part of the breeze and see his eyes close for the last time. He would stand guard as the young life faltered and failed.

"It’s hard you know." Tommy said softly. "There’s so much I wanted to do."

"I know." He gave the shoulder beneath his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I want to be angry, Jim." The young man’s voice cracked with emotion, reminding Jim how very young Tommy truly was.

"If you need to get man Tommy, get mad."

The kid let out a brief humorless chuckle. "At who? Who am I going to blame, who am I going to get mad at?" he shook his head. "Shit happens and I’m here in the middle of it."

"I’m sorry." Jim whispered.

Tommy shook his head again. "Don’t be…. I don’t want to die, man, but I’ll tell ya something. I’ve had a good life. My mom really loves me, so does my big sister. It’s just only ever been the three of us and we’re tight. Most people don’t get that. I did, guess that makes me pretty lucky, huh?"

Jim fought the stinging tears in his eyes. "Very lucky Tommy."

"How long till she gets here?" he asked his gaze falling to the splintered windshield.

"She’s on her way, she’ll be here soon."

The kid looked at Jim with an honest expression of fear. "It’s going to hurt, I know it. I’ll scream, God, I don’t want my mom to hear me scream. I don’t want her to remember that, I want her to remember me telling her that I love her. Jim please don’t let her hear me scream." Tears flowed freely down the young man’s face at the thought.

"Shhh Tommy, I promise she won’t hear you scream." He soothed.

"You’ll have to take her away, she won’t like that but I’ll explain. Take her to one of the police cars maybe, I just don’t want her to hear." He sobbed.

"I promise kiddo."

Tommy nodded. "Thank you, Jim. Thank you for everything."

"You’re welcome Tommy." Jim managed his voice rough with emotion.

The minutes passed in silence until the squad car carrying Tommy’s mother arrived. Jim stood quietly to the side as mother and son wept their good-byes. Tommy tried to explain to his mother why she had to go. Jim heard the woman tell her son she would stay, she would be with him, she would hold him and she would remember. She told him it was okay, she wanted to be with him. She told him it wouldn’t matter if he screamed, she would still remember the sound of his laughter, and the sound of his love. She told him she was going to stay. Tommy’s eyes spoke of his trust in her, his love for her and Jim knew the boy was at peace and ready to let go.

"I love you mom."

"Oh, I love you too pumpkin, always and forever."

Tommy closed his eyes and nodded his head, Jim led his mother away several feet so the rescue crews could do their work. Minutes later there was a small cry of pain from the car and Jim watched as the slight body tensed and then went completely limp. Thomas Michael Andrews died seven minutes later as his mother and a stranger looked on. Jim could feel the moment the boy died. He did not need enhanced senses to aid him. He felt in such a way that he could almost see Tommy’s spirit set free from his broken body. Jim’s grief was profound, but so was the peace that surrounded him at that moment. Infront of him, Tommy’s mother whispered. "Go with God baby."

Epilogue.

There were no clouds to be seen the day Thomas Andrews was buried. The sun in all its glory bathed the cemetery in warmth that paled when compared with the memories of those gathered to honor their son, brother and friend. Jim stood away from the group during the service, unsure of his presence. He listened as his friends remembered a young man with a caring heart and boundless spirit. He listened and understood how Tommy had inspired and touched so many in his short life. The boy was well loved by all gathered to remember him. Yes he understood, he had seen the gentle light in Tommy’s soul, he had known it so briefly yet so thoroughly. Inspite of his profound sorrow at the young man’s passing he felt blessed to have known him at all.

In the days since the accident Jim found himself dealing with a maelstrom of emotions. He felt an unyielding guilt about the boy’s death and it warred with the helplessness he felt at not being able to prevent it. His heart had been a battlefield and he was weary and hurting. It should never have happened, but no amount of protest would change the fact that Thomas Michael Andrews had died. A victim of another random senseless tragedy. Some said that it was his time, he had done all he had been destined to do. Jim found that difficult to accept. How could this young man have fulfilled his life’s destiny when he’d barely begun to live? He knew, however, that Tommy had gone on to a better place, that Jim believed without reservation, and it helped ease the pain that gnawed at his heart.

As friends and family members spoke the sentinel listened, not only to their words but also to the sounds of life, love and grief surrounding him. He had been to too many funerals in his time, he’d seen too much of the same sorrow and pain. Tommy’s funeral was different, the grief was there, but the bond of family and love left the hurt in the shadows. They mourned his loss but they celebrated his life and the moments of quiet laughter through tears were many.

After the service as the crowd began to thin Jim approached Tommy’s mother and sister. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the older woman’s warm embrace. "Thank you." she whispered to him. "Thank you for staying with my son."

Jim nodded as the woman stepped back, looking at her weary face, into her sad eyes he felt an overwhelming feeling of regret. "I’m sorry." Tommy’s mother reached out and grasped his hand, he saw within her only understanding and he was comforted by it. He had a glimpse of how a mother must feel when she is unable to keep her child safe, this woman understood him and he understood her. Their grief was shared and halved. Jim said his good-byes and walked back to his rental car. He needed to go home and reconnect with his life.

Jim thought about the young man he would never get the chance to know and it saddened him. He felt slighted somehow because he knew he would have liked him. He did in the short time they’d spoken come to like Tommy and honestly felt he’d lost a friend. He respected the young man’s courage but more he respected Tommy. The boy faced his own death with a rare dignity and Jim knew it was the very same dignity with which he had lived his brief life. It was something Jim recognized in the man who had come to be his best friend and guide, someone else who had earned Jim’s respect. Someone who Jim very much needed to see.

The detective opened the door to his home, his hearing automatically tuning into the slow steady heartbeat of his partner. He wasn’t surprised to find Blair sleeping on the sofa, propped up with pillows to ease his injured ribs. He watched the younger man sleep and a smile graced the sentinel’s face as a deeper understanding of his guide’s exuberance entered his mind. Blair understood the unpredictability of life and he embraced it, living truly living because he knew it could end at anytime. It was a rare person who could accept the finite nature of their own existence and Jim had known two.

Jim stepped out on to the balcony and looked out over the city, his city. The sun turned the ocean vista into a glittering spectrum of light and he reveled in its beauty. He reached into his pocket and drew out the program for Tommy’s funeral, flipping it over he read the words on the back.

"Let there fall no rain. I will not weep.

I will turn my face to the sun and rejoice.

I will give thanks that you walked by my side and in whispered music told me you loved me.

I will honor you in memory with gladness in my heart, living each day knowing you are safe and sheltered.

Sing with the angles my brother, until we meet again."

With a final glance at the sky, the sentinel smiled and reentered his home believing that one day he would meet Tommy’s bright spirit again.

~fin~

In Loving memory of those who’ve gone before us.

My father Curran Phillip Nichols.

Dear family and friends.

Richard Karl Stabe

Craig Van Haitsma

Freida Van Haitsma

Clarence Van Haitsma

Norma Mc Grath

Julie Goldwyn

Risa Sluder

Sing with the angels until we meet again.