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| Cloak Like a Romulan (to the tune of "Walk Like An Egyptian" by the Bangles) By the old bloodstains on the wall, You must've hit a web-caster wall! Your shields went CRUNCH! Oh-way-Oh! Now you're tumblin' like a domino! If you wanna find those Klingons, They're hangin' out in the Port-a-johns! Zip up their pants - Oh-way-Oh! They hit the bridge dressed like "Wrath of Khan!" Al the Feds with their swelled up heads say - Way-Oh, Way-Oh! Photons A-way-Oh! (You'd better) Cloak like a Romulan! Cloak like a Romulan! By your anguished screams and your moans, You must'a sucked up Kzinti drones! Your shields went CRUNCH! Oh-way-Oh! Watch all the warp and the weapons go! If you wanna fight the Kzin, You'd better have lots of ECM! You'll scream and rant, Oh-way-Oh! When another shot hits your tractor beam! Scatter packs and the Ready-racks go Way-Oh, Way-Oh! Type IV's A-way-Oh! (You'd better) Cloak like a Romulan! Cloak like a Romulan! Ever since the first turn began, You're running from the Andromedans... You fired your torps, Oh-way-Oh! They sucked 'em up, then they fired again! Fighting off a Mauler's no fun, If it gets within a range of one. Your ship won't last, Oh-way-Oh! And your crew is cooked 'til they're well-done! If you wanna end up the same, Go ahead and play the Star Fleet game. And when your engines blow, Oh-way-Oh! Don't tell me I didn't tell you so! And if you face a rabid screw, Say: Way-Oh, Way-Oh! Let's run A-way-Oh! (You'd better) Cloak Like a Romulan! Cloak Like A Romulan! Do The Station Caitian (To the tune of Do The Locomotion) Soon our shift is over, let's get covered in fur, now Come on Starfleet, do the Station Caitian I think you'll really like it when we all start to purr, now Come on Starfleet, do the Station Caitian Come on, come on, do the Station Caitian with me! Come on and swing your tail now It's blue. Oh look, now it's green Every Deep Space Station thinks it's really keen It's easier than doin' the Away Team Come on, come on, do the Station Caitian with me! All of Cait is really jammin' and Kzins on the prowl, now Come on Starfleet, do the Station Caitian Who put the purr in purr-fect and the mix in meow, now Come on Starfleet, do the Station Caitian Come on, come on, do the Station Caitian with me! Bajoran Spritual Ballad (To the tune of Joy To The World) Jeremiah was a Vedek Was a good friend of mine He never understood a single prophecy But he always made good Spring Wine. (Chorus:) Singin' Joy to Bajor For love instead of war Joy to the Prophets livin' way up high Joy to you and I! Crossover DS-9 (To the tune of Hotel California) On a dark galactic highway Artificial atmosphere Dull talk of young doctor Echoing in my ear Up ahead through the wormhole Uncloaked a Klingon ship Say, you look like someone we know You've had quite a trip As she stood on the station We heard a Terran scream Bashir was thinkin' to himself I sure hope this is a dream Her hips swayed in tight clothing As she lead me away There were voices down the corridor Thought I heard them say (Chorus:) Welcome to crossover DS-9 Just a leap through space A familiar face Life's never a bore, here at Terok Nor Through the looking glass Better watch your ass Then she called me attractive And I can see why Don't know how well I know myself But I doubt that I'd lie How they worked in the ore mines Sweet Terran sweat What price is their freedom Is Ben Sisko a pet? Cardassians and Klingons Synthahol on ice And she said Terrans are just prisoners here Due to Kirk's advice One rule on this station Grab power while you can Garak wants to rule the roost But he just can't seize command! And still through subspace and far away On a coded frequency, I can hear them say! (Chorus) I said to the bar keep I've no gold latinum And he said We haven't seen any profit here My life's over and done Bashir, Sisko, and Miles Secured our Runabout We had to take the Wormhole back Some of us had to get out! Whisper good night to Odo Who ran the mines with ease He'll explode into some milky chunks Before he lets us leave! (Chorus) Doo Wah Kitty (To the tune of Doo Wah Ditty) There she was just a-crouchin' in the brush, Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. Stalkin prey in the jungle so lush, Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. She looked good, (looked good,) She looked fine, (looked fine,) She's the Caitian on my mind. Soon she was a-rubbin' up on me, Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. And her alluring scent was makin' me dizzy, Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. She's in heat, (in heat,) She's in deep, (in deep,) Caused fur to stand and heart to leap. Then there were some kittens on the way, Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. Little fur balls with my tail for to play. Singin' meow, m'-meow, m'-m'-m'-meow, meow, m'-meow. We had nine, (had nine,) So fine, (so fine,) Claws and teeth all the time! Ev'rybody Wants To Be a Cat (To the tune by the same name from Aristocats) Ev'rybody wants to be a cat Because a Kait's the only cat Who knows where it's at. Ev'rybody's pickin' up on the Caitian beat 'Cause ev'rything else is obsolete. Beware of a square When he offers to share His favorite dish. If it hasn't been tried I suggest you provide Your own s'krit k'rish. I've seen some Dabo girls who tried to prance But, still a Kait's the only cat Who knows how to dance. A purr between to furry friends may be old hat But ev'rybody wants to be a cat. The Gambler (To the tune of the same name by Kenny Rogers) You got to know when to acquire Know when to evade 'em Know when to take a chance and know when to cheat You never count you latinum while you're sittin' at the table though that shiny, sparkling latinum may look good enough to eat (Chorus) Trust the Rules of Acquisition to guide you to your riches But trusting anyone you love can lead you to despair The stars are made of latinum and greed will shine eternal but those who seek out love, not wealth build castles in the air Now every Ferengi knows The secret to survival Is knowin' when to squeal in fright and turn your tail and run Well, you've got the lobes for business but don't argue with a Klingon 'cause once your body parts are sold your business days are done! (Chorus) I'm Just a Hologram (To the tune of I'm Just a Gigolo) I'm just a hologram And everywhere I scan Carbon life forms surround me They play me on this deck Don't give me no respect Oooh, it astounds me They say that I'm their friend But when this program's at an end What will they say about me? In the medical scans I am just a hologram The ship can run without me! 'Cause I ain't got no body Nobody cares for me! |
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