Små Ord...

De offisielle ilder-reglene!

1) Hvis jeg liker den, så er den min.
2) Hvis den er i min munn, så er den min.
3) Hvis jeg kan ta den ifra deg, så er den min.
4) Hvis jeg hadde den for en liten stund siden, så er den min.
5) Hvis jeg tygger på noe, så er alle bitene mine.
6) Hvis den ligner på min, så er den min.
7) Hvis jeg så den først, så er den min.
8) Hvis du har noe og senere legger den ifra deg, blir den automatisk min.
9) Hvis jeg kan nå den, så er den min.
10) Hvis du rører deg, så er DU min!

Ferrets for Dummies

Når du er ferdig med å rense ilderørene med ørerens:

"Don't forget a lick of Linatone (Ferretone) when you're
finished, as a treat for a job well done. Make sure that
your ferret gets a taste, too."

Ten Commandments of the Ferret

Thou shalt cover all corners. Thou shalt not use kitty litter, for it is a heathen CAT thing, and thusly, thou shalt scatter the heathen thing everywhere.

Thou shalt bite thy brethren. Thou shalt lick thy humans, except that thou shalt slip in the occasional nip to ensure that they don’t become complacent.

Thou shalt revere milk and ice cream above all things, except for Linatone , which is heaven sent.

Thou shalt despise anything that is labeled "For Ferrets".

Thou shalt climb everything in sight and take the good stuff.

When placed in a cage, or locked in or out of a room, thou shalt beat loudly upon the door in violent protest.

Thou shalt lurk and seek every opportunity.

Thou shalt love and honor shoes, socks, and above all else, toes.

Thou shalt expose the roots of all plants. Let none escape your wrath.

Thou shalt hide from sight those things most coveted by humans, that they never more see the light of day.

Sanger...

"Ferretone"

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to hide my Mommy's keys away! Hey!

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to drag my Daddy's shoes away! Hey!

Dashing 'round the room, in the dark of night, Oh, what fun it is to give the pup-py dog a bite! Ow!

Bells on big tree ring, giving Dad a fright, Oh, what fun it is to dig the potted plants tonight! Hey!

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to hear my Mommy holler, "Hey!"

"The Treat Song"

We ferrets want banana chips.
We want some apple too.
Then all the socks we've sto-o-len
We might return to you.
And car keys and remote control and e'en your long-lost shoe.

We are ferrets and we all want some treats.
Lo-ots of treats!
We are fe-e-rrets and we MUST have our treats.

You say you've no banana chips?
That isn't very nice.
You don't have any a-a-pples?
Not even one small slice?
Then rai-ai-sins or Cheerios will just this once suffice.

CHORUS

Your lack of tasty rai-ai-sins
Won't win you any praise.
The scarcity of Cheerios,
Has caused a deep malaise.
You best come up with something quick or we will pout for days.

CHORUS

Though Bob C's chicken gra-a-vy
is quite the tasty food,
We don't want any right now, thanks.
We just aren't in the mood.
Red licorice or peanut butter would be pretty good.

CHORUS

You don't have those things ei-ei-ther?
Our wrath you do excite.
We want some treats, we want them now.
You understand our plight?!?!?!
What's that you have behind your back? It looks like FERRETVITE!

Now we'll dance and dook because we get a treat.
Our favorite treat!
Now we'll dance and dook because we get a treat.

"We are happy ferrets now"

We are happy ferrets now.
Our mom should come and take a bow.
She made Chicken Gravy for us, WOW!
We are happy ferrets now.

She cursed Bob Church* left and right,
'Cause she stayed up way past midnight,
Just to be sure that she got it right.
We are happy ferrets now.

No more strained baby food.
It puts us in a bad mood.

We are happy ferrets now.
That Gravy is the cat's meow.
If we don't get more, there'll be a row.
We are happy ferrets now.

Duck soup is just too passe.
We get our pep the modern way.
Gravy made us what we are today.
We are happy ferrets now.

Ferret carol song: "Oh Ferretone"

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Thou art so rich and tasty!
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
We love thee more than pastry!
We wish we could drink you straight up,
But Mom pours some into a cup,
And thins the rest with veggie oil,
It is enough to make us boil.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Thou hast a wonderous flavor.
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
One which we'll always savor.
That new full bottle makes us glad.
When it's all gone, we feel so sad,
But Mom brings out a new supply,
And we all heave a grateful sigh.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
What would we do without thee?
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
How empty would our lives be!
When we lie down to take a nap,
We dream about that open cap,
And watch Mom pour it in a spoon,
And in our sleep we softly croon.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Our Christmas morning present!
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Who needs a roast stuffed pheasant?
You make our fur as soft as snow.
You give our eyes that special glow.
To thee we raise our grateful paws.
You're on our list to Santa Claus!

"Box of Raisins!"

Box of raisins, all for me?
I will just take twenty three.
Then I'll hide them in a nook,
where my mom won't think to look.
I will eat them one by one,
and I'll smile when I am done.

Nutrical tube, all for me,
I won't share it no-siree.
I could make it last all day,
if I take time out to play.
When it's gone, I will be sad,
but my tummy will be glad.

Watermelon, all for me,
sweet and juicy as can be.
I don't like it when it's chilled,
Hurts my tooth ( the one that's filled).
I'd prefer it not be sliced,
I would rather have it diced.

Ripe banana, all for me,
freshly picked, right off the tree.
Are those brown spots? that won't do!
must be yellow through and through.
Could you cut off tiny chunks,
I can't eat those great big hunks.

Cheerio box, all for me,
Each one's different, can't you see?
I prefer to choose my own.
What I leave can then be thrown.
Do they look the same to you?
You don't have my high I.Q.

The Meaning of Rescue

Now that I'm all home, bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed,
I'd like to open my baggage lest I forget,
There is so much to carry, so much to regret.
Hmmmm. Yes, there it is right on the top,
Let's unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss,
And there by my leash hides Fear and Shame,
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave,
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.
I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn't good enough; for they didn't want me.
Will you add to my baggage?
Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things and take me right back?
Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage,
To never repack?
I pray that you do; I'm so tired, you see.
But I do come with baggage, will you still want me?

---Unknown

RAINBOW BRIDGE

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and all our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.
Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing;
They each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent.
His eager body begins to quiver.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face;
your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.

--Author Unknown--