DATE May.21. 2005
MUSIC Gorillaz - El Manana
MOOD Crazy
RAMBLE Wow. This is crazy. I honestly didn't know what to think today. Beginning of the day, I was just excited to go shopping wiht Kasia and Melissa. Got back from shopping and was happy with the shit i bought, then BAM. Grandpa falls. Holy shit. This time there was blood and it was insane. I couldn't even go upstairs. I was terrified to see the blood, I didn't know what to think. For those few seconds, I was just blanked out. My heart beat was going crazy and out of this world. I couldn't go upstairs, I was too scared. When they brought him down, I couldn't look. I couldn't do anything. I felt helpless and hopeless. It's funny, I was worried about what my clothes were like and if they fit and then in one second I started worrying about whether my grandpa would even live. I still don't know. He's still in the hospital. I heard something about extensive/intensive care. I really don't know. And i'm scared. I'll be the first to admit it. Almost cried. Gah. I've got family coming over tomorrow. Dunno which ones cuz there is a little family fued going on. But you know what they say, it takes a tragedy to bring a family together. It's so very true.

DATE May. 16. 2005
MUSIC Frou Frou - Shh
MOOD Fat and Pissy
RAMBLE My god. You see, I fucking hate Alicia and Rachel right now. Rachel is just a prissy little preen who I hope dies in hell. God, she's such a bitch. And fucking ugly as hell. My god. She thinks she's the shit, well hello loser I've got fucking news for you. You are ugly as hell. My god. She thinks she's just soooo the shit and all, but ew is all i gotta say. I'm more hotter than you bitch. And Alicia is just .. aaah. She's just rude. If you were going to act like that, what exactly was the point of you coming. Right, there was no point. And if you think that I am just going to hand over my pilate tape to you after your rudeness, I don't think so. Pssh. You know, a few months ago, I would actually be disappointed and moping about my loss of friendship with you, but really it's no loss. You're the biggest bitch I've ever known. I really don't care if you're not my friend. Melissa is such a better friend than you. God. And school is just blah. I am still procrastinating, which is never a good thing. Nope.

DATE March. 28. 2005
MUSIC Kelly Clarkson. Breakaway.
Mood Pissed and Drained
RAMBLE Fucking buggering shit hell. I hate them right now so much. I hate her for not talking to me. I hate her for pretending to be fine and ok with me when really she's still mad and talking shit behind me. So why the FUCK would you pretend. Why isn't she talking to me? There's obviously a fucking reason. What the hell is it? You two are obviously not worth my time anymore. I've somewhat tried to be on good terms with you but you obviously don't think I'm worth it. So I should really wash my hands of you two. You fucks. And my best friend has moved away from me. There's honestly no one around anymore. I FUCKING HATE THIS.

DATE March.17.2005
MUSIC Green Day. Warning.
MOOD Agitated.
RAMBLE I like icons. I like typing. I like rambling. But I hate making layouts and not having my Paint Shop Pro 7 does cause some problems. So for now, make due with this. I really don't know what to do lately. It seems like Spring Break has sucked majorly this year. I've gotten into a fight with friends over seemingly nothing. But, I refuse to call them because it is completely not my fault. If I call them, it kind of makes me admit my fault and to them it'll seem like I'm wrong and they're right. Which is not true at all. I plan to continue being stubborn. I don't give a flying fuck anymore. They can go screw themselves for all I care. Tomorrow I will find something to do. And my so-called best friend doesn't even have the heart to call or listen to my problems. I feel so unappreciated lately. I'm the listener in my group, they all come to me with problems. But when I have a problem there seems to be no one there. *sigh* Tomorrow I shall do some calling of real friends and maybe attempt to do my bio and chemistry labs.