This is the page that describes all the people I regularily discuss. There are a LOT, which I realized after I tried to make it. They are in no specific order or anything, I just put people's names down as I thought of them and then elaborated.

James
My boyfriend and best friend. He is the 'feminine' half, and I am the 'masculine' half, of our relationship. We can laugh at extreme acts of violence together and not be horrified by each other's cold lack of empathy. We're exactly alike in almost every way (barring anatomical differences). He is intelligent, seems to know every pagan/ancient holiday that was ever celebrated, and appreciates weirdness. He's also dead sexy.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: a religious leader (probably of a large lemon cult) or movie director

Mallory
I'm not sure why I should even get along with Mallory. She is my complete opposite in many ways. She is giggly and likes pink and does math for fun. She even listens to the Backstreet Boys. But we get along.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: a teacher or classical musician

Megan
With Megan, the glass is always half full... of hydrochloric acid. She takes great joy in devising plots to attain revenge on those who cross her path. She writes dark poetry, and is almost as perverted as I am. Key word being almost.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: an archaeologist or abstract artist

Chris
Chris Ringler is a sweetheart, and is a very talented writer. Even though he is American. His compassion often gets him used by certain mean girls *AHEM* but I know if it weren't for his friendship and encouragement, I wouldn't be here. He's always been there, and can handle anything I throw at him.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: an author

Adam
The infamous "nazi" ex-boyfriend. He's a respectable individual; the poster boy for tradition, socially acceptable values, and morality. If you like that sort of thing. But he has a silly side as most of us do -- his is refreshing and sweet.

MOST LIKELY TO BE: a cop. perhaps.

Chris
Chris Rouse is Adam's friend. Like Chris #1, he is an awesome writer, although his areas of expertise tend to lean towards poetry and lyrics. He is full of rage. It's really really funny sometimes when he clenches his fists and grinds his teeth and growls, "I HATE DAN." He is also the only one I feel I can talk to when discussing... movie rentals. Yes.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: a rock star

Mike
He's sweet and cute and disturbed. His specialty is bloody death and horror fiction. He is another male American writer friend, I have a lot of those. I am co-authoring a novel with him at the moment and each chapter seems better than the last. Aside from the professional relationship, he has always been supportive of me and I'm grateful for that.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: an author, or vendor of Warhammer-esque products

Manfred
A 34-year-old friend. He got me hooked on fantasy writing. He makes sense. He knows stuff about sex and I think he sometimes forgets that I'm 16. It always feels like a good unbiased adult-to-adult chat and those are hard to get. I almost never talk to him anymore though.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: relationship counselor, magazine editor

Erin
Erin is one of the only girls I know who doesn't make me intensely angry. She can be happy and confident without being mean or putting someone else down; she's just content to live and to create. She can be in the fashion show and be extremely artistic and talented at the clarinet without becoming pretentious. Her family is cool too, they actually get along! And are COOL!
MOST LIKELY TO BE: classical musician and artist on the side (or the other way around)

Christine
Oh Christine, she is my sunshine. She smiles a lot at me and always says "Hellooooo!" She is kind of a band person, except she is a choir person. But is friends with the band people. But she is by far one of the smiliest.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: an opera singer

Katie
She tells me her lurid stories. I do not reciprocate. It works out okay. She is in the band too, and is a tromboner (hehe). Her socks never match and it is fun to make up words with her that don't make sense. Also she is my crayon buddy.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: teacher, fashion designer, lexicographer

Emilie
Emilie is so cute, as much as I hate that word. She is innocent of the world's evils. She plays clarinet in the band too. Her penchant for mini drink umbrella things gives me joy, especially when she gives them to me. She is my other T + T crayon buddy.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: teacher, I can see her as a doctor or receptionist also

Krystal
Krystal is in my math class too and understands the parabola anguish. She is a flutist. Do you notice the band people trend? Anyhoo she is optimistic and little, and is one of those people you can have completely nonsensical conversations with and not feel dumb. (ie square roots)
MOST LIKELY TO BE: kindergarten teacher

Family
Brothers (Cam, Sean, Oli) and Sister (Kris) and Parents. There exists a relationship of mutual contempt. It works. They are pretty violent at times and have psychological problems. Half of them are on anti-D's. The Cyr family is fraught with scandal and such. They don't know how to prepare and store food without diseasing it... *sigh*
MOST LIKELY TO BE:
Oli --> clown for hire, crash test dummy
Cam --> army sargeant or karate sensei
Sean --> video game tester or writer for a television series
Kristen --> in jail for battery, or stand up comedian
Mom and Dad --> in a retirement home

Sarah
Sarah is a dancer and the daughter of a butcher. She knows all about kielbassa. I love the kielbassa. Mmmm... Her dad sometimes scares me. We grew up together and she now sits beside me in Travel and Tourism. Since she has known me forever, she is no longer surprised by the weirdness and can accept the stories that make no sense.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: a dancer for BSB or a dance teacher

Maida
He is always sexy. He ALWAYS matches. The sexiness and the matchingness are unrelated, he would be sexy in a burlap sack. This is no way to talk about a Travel and Tourism teacher. I am going to stop.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: he is already a teacher but I think he may have a future as a male model/porn star

Catherine Neves
Surprisingly, although she is a pop princess and likes Nick Carter and pink, and talks a lot, and is the typical girl, I don't hate her. She is actually pretty damned cool. She is hyper too, and it's no surprise that she and Magda get along well.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: pop star

Dan
I HATE DAN
He is pushy and whiny and basically just a big jerk. Like the classical Hollywood image of the jerky popular guy -- blond, jerk, jock, likes rap, indiscreet, jerk, fake ID, drinks, jerk. I hate Dan. He blames me for ruining his and Adam's relationship, ignoring the fact that he is a jackass.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: the next Vanilla Ice, a father at 17, a drug dealer, or hopefully dead

Graff
I made the mistake of liking him once. He is the type to jerk people around for his own amusement, and then actually start to like them after they lose interest. Also, he is 17 and in gr 10. Also, he still plays with lego. Also, he stalks my sister.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: a corrupted politician

DiFlavio
My semester is forever boring without him. I miss 4 Corners. He loves to talk about the Simpsons. I wish I had a teacher this year who knew what wit was, and would accept instructional oompa loompa essays. And would appreciate poetry! We are pretty much the same on the political spectrum. I think if he weren't a teacher, we would be good friends.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: he is already a teacher but I think he'd make a good security guard in a maximum security prison

Jesus
He walks by me every morning. I feel blessed.
(He is not actually Jesus, but a guy named Jonathan McLarty who is in OAC. He is my friend Angela's cousin. But often we think he looks like Jesus and make a big deal out of squealing and getting excited whenever he is near or mentioned. I'm sure if he knew, he wouldn't walk through that particular hallway anymore.)
MOST LIKELY TO BE: religious icon, saviour, martyr

Ribzy
He is so hilarious. Oh Ribzy. When he goes to the movies he can often get in for child's price because he looks 12. Sometimes I think about stealing him away and keeping him to be my personal ferret trainer. He is so fun to just talk to, because he has a Creative Mind, so nothing will faze him. He will soon grow up to become a famous playwright/producer.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: Theravada guru

Mark Adams
The ex-boyfriend. He talks to me when he is single because it helps him believe that not ALL girls hate him. I am too nice to tell him otherwise. He makes far too many crude bisexual jokes. He also invades the Space Cushion. He chases girls who have never had boyfriends, and don't know any better (but he taught me how not to kiss). He decided to omit like half of his life from me while we dated and I am only just finding out a lot of this now. Soon I will put up the Pornographic Epic of Mark Adam's First Gay Experience. Oh Mark.
MOST LIKELY TO BE: one of those dirty old men who stare at/harrass young girls