What About Ralph

from the poem "Gossip Town"

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If you arrived here and you haven't visited "Gossip Town" yet, go pay a visit. C'mon back...
kick off your shoes, grab your favorite beverage and read "Ralph's Story."

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Just a little background on Ralph
His memories seem to be forever etched on his heart, his story of his childhood tucked away. Ralph grew up in a very big city with no brothers and sisters and was raised by his beautiful mother. His mother was a hardworking soul who provided for his wants and needs and she had instilled many good qualities in her son.
Ralph's dad was an open minded individual and took life as it came; he was a good man in his own right. Until the day his father died, Ralph never heard malicious gossip or slander come from his father's lips about his mother. Ralph learned later, what a gift his parents gave him. Ralph was barely five when his parents divorced; two good people fell apart, due to malicious gossip.


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Ralph never had the joy or experiences growing up in a home in some quiet suburbia neighborhood. Ralph and his mother had to settle for apartment living, as there was no money for a luxury such as this. So Ralph built a dream of having his own little cozy home one day with a wife and children and some loving pets. Ralph had lived in some pretty rough neighborhoods but he adapted pretty well to all of the apartments he lived in, after all... it was all he really knew. He never blamed his mother for not providing his dream home. He never wanted things handed to him; he worked for everything he had. Ralph's heart was set on his dream.

Ralph grew up never caring where people came from, what their last names were, or the color of their skin. He grew up in the city, where life was more diversified and the word divorce was not a "dirty" word. All Ralph cared about is how he was treated by each person that he came across. Living in the big city did bring many dangers to Ralph’s young life there; he always had to watch his back. Little did Ralph know that watching his back could mean something else, just as violent.

To make a long story short, Ralph finished high school, moved on, got married, and had children. His dream of that cozy little house was fulfilled. He bought his grandfather's house in a small little town that he got to visit once in awhile as a child. He thought he had it all until he got all wrapped up in "Gossip Town." Ralph did not adjust well to his new small town surroundings, it was a new life and a life he never experienced or expected. Most of the town folk never grew up in apartments, but Ralph wasn't feeling sorry for himself.
Everyone has a dream of about something different in their lives. Ralph never told the town folk of his new found home with a big yard and enough room for kids, a puppy and more kitties; he felt that they might not understand. So when it all started falling apart...so did Ralph.

In "Gossip Town" Ralph became an angry and saddened individual sometimes because he just couldn’t understand the labels that were put on people for sometimes the simplest things. It wasn’t that he felt too good for the town folk, it was just a culture shock.
Ralph thought about all he had worked for to give his family a real home, his heart was in this home and this little town. Ralph was beginning to feel that some people were good about bringing the "ugly" out in him. They never knew he was just secretly defending what he worked so hard to obtain and people would ask "why do you let those things bother you Ralph?" Ralph knew somewhere in his heart that eventually he and his family would be labeled for something. He figured if he just joined in a little, he might be spared. So it began...
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Ralph always meant well, worked hard just raising his family. Ralph held down a position that didn't allow him to engage in gossip, for fear of the company losing business. Ralph actually didn't grow up with gossip and really didn’t know how deep it could get. But like anything else it tends to slip in and Ralph found himself participating in the idle gossip like everyone else, but still managed to stay away from the real malicious gossip and slander. He had skeletons in his own closet he thought and his own household and tried not to judge another human being. Ralph was just trying to be neighborly and not stand out too much engaging in idle chit chat.

Then the real malicious gossip started about Ralph and his family. Oh yeah he knew he wasn't exempt. After all he thought, I only talked a little bit and it wasn't that bad. He even took the short end of the stick when it came right down to it. He knew lots about the town folks and took the rap or covered for people so he could live a somewhat peaceful life and not ruin their names. So now why would neighbors do it to me, and why would they betray me, Ralph thought. Why could anyone want to strip a family member or other family members of their dignity for something that wasn’t even true? Why were the neighbors stretching the truth without even knowing the facts?

Ralph cried out "somebody help me please" and not one town folk stepped forward to defend the truth. What good did it do for me he thought when I defended their name even if I knew they were wrong, this is not how it's supposed to be? The town folk never knew or recognized that Ralph had stood up for them, he never told them, and if they knew they never really discussed it.
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No answers were coming to Ralph and he struggled daily to overcome the gossip about him and his family and he found himself hiding away in a community that he dearly loved, not because he was ashamed, he knew they were lies and half truths but because he was in pain. The pain went on for months. He sometimes wondered which was worse, being stabbed in the back with a knife or stabbed in the heart with a sharp tongue. People started to worry about Ralph, they just didn't understand. Down deep Ralph knew most of them were good folk, but just doing what they learned. Remember forgive them Father? For they know not what they do...

The gossip was so malicious about him, his wife and his children, that he pleaded with God for it to stop. He was calling on God, not just somebody this time. Oh God he would pray "can't they see my heart, can't they see the heart of my wife and kids? We are not perfect Lord, you know that, but please don't let them hurt my wife and children; I can handle it much better than them." "They were raised here Lord, please don't take away the dream I had for them of that cozy little house with the playful puppies and the warm little kittens." It was too late, the once idle gossip had now turned into malicious gossip and it spread like wildfire throughout the community and beyond. Why does everyone listen to gossip and yet no one can hear me now Lord, asked Ralph.

It devastated him to think that some of the neighbors believed what they heard, the untrue, the half truths and it angered and saddened him that all this was destroying his family, and he wanted the pain to end...He cried out once again to God, "God are you there?" And in Ralph’s heart he heard these little words "unite your pain with mine." Ralph didn’t know for sure what his inner self was saying to him, but Ralph knew those words were not of his own, for he wouldn't have spent so much time in trying to find an answer if he would have had the answer right from the get go. Oh God how could I be so selfish in thinking this only could happen to me, look what they did to you!
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Gossip was not a learned behavior for Ralph as a young lad; he now knew the effects of it and felt compelled to start reading up about gossip, slander and pain it causes. He had to find out why he would also participate in something that was so wrong. He remembers one of the commandments he learned "Thou Shall Not Kill" Ralph only related that to physical murder of another human being. Never did Ralph think of it as being slander to another person and killing their spirit not to mention other things!

He found by reading and studies taken, that teenagers were taking their own lives. He found that many lives were in ruins, dreams and hopes shattered and why? Because the people who were being slandered...believed that it determined their self-worth. Ralph thought long and hard about this. Ralph hung his head and realized that he too was heading down that "Thoughtless Road" of engaging in malicious gossip and slander.

Ralph's pride would sometimes get in the the way of trying to grow spiritually and in order for him to learn he had to experience it. It was a big burden for him to bear and Ralph needed some answers. Ralph learned that if he is not speaking about a person with the intention of good will or love in his heart then it was gossip. Even if it was true, is for me to judge?
He learned not to break a confidence of a friend. He learned only to tell the proper authorities, someone in charge or someone we could fully trust if it meant someone's safety, their life or for the well being of another person. He took the time to distinguish the differences between gossip, slander, malicious intent and vital information in the protection of another. Ralph was beginning to grow...

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"Gossip Town" is everywhere folks and Ralph learned that gossip is illusive, once said there's no turning back. It's in small towns, all towns, in the workplace, and within our own families. Although Ralph grew up more accepting of other's differences, he had never claimed to be better than anyone else. He never claimed to be an expert on the subject, he was learning himself. He worked on improving himself every day. Isn't that the most important he thought? He learned how to distinguish discussing another person with the intention of good will, instead of malice and would be able to feel good about what he said in the person’s absence.

Ralph came to realize that the people who gossiped or slandered were in need of the most love. That insecurity, anger jealousy, hate, revenge, the need for control, for the fun of it and many other things are sometimes motives for gossip and slander. He found that the gossiper was looked upon as badly as the person being talked about. He actually found out that people didn't always realize what they were doing and what affect it had on another's life.

Ralph realized he could not always change others, but only the way he reacted to them or any situation. He also realized he could make changes in his own life, such as shying away from malicious gossip in a kind way, such as changing the subject, or finding something good to say about that person. Ralph realized that some places of gossip, oh where gossip breeds were worse than others and Ralph was willing and ready to make a change and avoid places of gossip, even if he had to relocate. He also learned not to set his heart on material things and Ralph focused more often on where his heavenly treasures lie.
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So the story of "Gossip Town" didn't end with Ralph realizing all these things. He continued to pray, Ralph knew he was only human. We all live in "Gossip Town" but if we discover the differences of love and hate in our conversations, we can free ourselves from malicious intents. Even if malicious gossip hits you or your family, though it's painful, don't give up! There are plenty of people who do care about you and many resources out there to help you. Don't be afraid to take a kind stand for someone else either, it takes courage, but the rewards are great. If you hurt someone, don't be afraid to say I'm sorry, that takes courage too.

I suppose you're wondering about what Ralph is doing these days. He's still trying to catch the "big one" of course. I sometimes hear him chatting with the "Man upstairs" while he’s fishing. Being I'm a good friend of Ralph's, I sometimes go with him and we chat about our kids and grandkids and the old fishing line he's still using. I told him that "big one" is gonna' get away from you Ralph. But one day as I stood off in the distance I saw old "Dame Rumor" there; I thought she was listening so I had to see how Ralph was handling things. As I approached, I heard my dear friend praying...

Dear heavenly father... I ask that you prompt me before my tongue spews words of gossip about my friends, co-workers, and my family and even those who may have done me wrong. I ask for your forgiveness on those I may have already slandered through a malicious gossiping action. Show me ways of correcting my wrongs and give me the wisdom and courage to act upon those wrongs.

I pray for those who I may have hurt through gossip whether intentionally or through lack of thinking before I spoke, that they may be healed of the hurt I may have caused. Lord, help me pray for my enemies, known and unknown and those who have also hurt me. Please help me not to store up anger and resentment, for You alone are the judge.

I pray for this in Jesus name - Amen

And I tell ya folks,
as God is my witness "That's when I seen old "Dame Rumor"
hanging her head..."

And to this day I never seen "Dame Rumor" again at
"Tell Tale Park"

"The End"

Ralph's story is copyright by
Pleasure's of the Heart

rule
Don't let someone's negative opinions of you determine your "self worth."
In God I Trust, I will not be afraid.

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