This is an archive of a topic that was posted on my message board. I thought it had some funny stuff in it and was worth putting up.
Thanks go out to Deathspork for coming up with the topic!
Deathspork:
If someone unbelievably strong starts beating you up, there's no need to worry, you won't die.
Treasure chests can only hold one item. People can hold a near infinite amount of items.
If someone in town tells you that they heard a rumor, it's true.
An antisocial, emotionally damaged paranoid schizophrenic will make a good hero.
Flying Omelette:
People falling from the sky can lead to an emotionally-charged experience like no other.
A paintbrush can do as much damage as a sword, if used properly.
Dragoons were knights that were trained to leap 50 feet in the air.
If there's a problem that absolutely cannot be resolved any way possible, the solution is to go back in time and prevent it from ever happening in the first place.
Large animals can be kept in small balls that fit in your pocket.
If there's a switch or lever you're trying to activate, and it won't budge no matter what you do, the solution is to talk to someone and have them tell you about the switch or lever, first. Then, it should work.
You cannot climb over rocks, no matter what. You must get a hammer to destroy them, or find some other way around.
Trees and bushes can be chopped down with one swing of an axe or sword.
Have you ever heard the expression, "We all have a double"? Well, it turns out your double is someone you have to find and eventually face in battle to prove your worthiness.
If you need to talk to someone, it doesn't matter if they're dead. You can just talk to their ghost.
If you see a flying island or building, there's a good chance it signifies impending doom.
No matter how many people are traveling together, usually, only the person in the lead can be seen.
If you're tired or injured, all you have to do is hop in bed, turn out the lights and play a 5-second tune, then turn the lights on and get up, and you'll be completely healed and refreshed. (Okay, I stole that one from the Video Game Humor Homepage, but it's still pretty funny!)
Dungeon monsters and traps will only attack or effect the hero and the people traveling with him/her. If you're just an unimportant person, you can go ahead and run through the dungeon, temple, forest, desert, cave, or other place teeming with evil unharmed.
When somebody dies, their body flashes for a few seconds, then disappears into thin air.
If you die during a battle you can be brought back to life. It's only when you die any other time that you stay permanently dead.
If you fall sick with a strange illness, there's always some kind of flower, herb, or stone nearby that can cure it. Of course, you'll have to kill some huge beast that guards it, first.
You should always walk behind waterfalls, because there's always something hidden back there.
Elderly men have telepathic powers.
If you're going to join someone's traveling group, you have to first give them the oppurtunity to change your name.
When you are walking around outside a town, everything is just about the same size as you are, but when you enter a town, everything is normal-sized.
If you pick up a pot and break it, once you leave the room and return, a new one will be there in its place.
Animals, in general, will attack you relentlessly as you travel from one place to another.
Getting shot out of a cannon never, ever results in injury.
Most people stay in the same exact spot all day long.
Everybody in every part of the world speaks the same language.
It's absolutely not unusual for some animals to be able to talk, particularly owls and monkeys.
When running from a group of monsters, it is only necessary to run out of the battlefield itself to safely escape. You'll still be at the same exact spot on the world, but there's no need to duck for cover or run any farther once you've escaped the battlefield.
Sleep is the only absolute necessity of life. You can travel all over the world and fight as much as you want, and there is never a need to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom.
Most houses in the world only have one room.
When observing people through a telescope, you can hear their conversations. (This actually happens in Secret of Evermore.)
There is a song written for every moment of your life, such as sad moments, happy moments, angry moments, etc. Also, every important person in the world has their own theme song.
Magical Yard Gnome:
Relics from ancient civilizations tend to be very dangerous things and are usually better off if left undiscovered.
Projectile weapons do a lot less damage than melee weapons.
Blue slimy things are the weakest creatures in the world.
After dealing your arch enemy an apparently fatal blow, don't think you can rest easy. He'll probably transform and become stronger.
Crawl and 1000:
Even if you've never sung before, being a General fully prepares you to sing the lead in an opera.
If you're ever in a fight, just pull out a book to read; eventually the fight'll finish on its own.
You can buy armor, weapons, and healing potions, but not normal clothing, televisions, books, or appliances. Every store in the world exists only to sell you things for your adventure.
Don't bother excercising. Killing hundreds of imps will make you stronger, permanently.
If you talk at all, people will say what a great story your life has. But if you do badly on a school essay, your teacher will return it with no grading notes other than, "This translation sucks!"
You may see beds everywhere, you may be able to get into them, but you won't be able to sleep unless you pay money.
TWEETER911:
If you get smacked by a sword or something sharp, you won't even bleed.
Magical Yard Gnome: Correction: if it's part of a dramatic death scene, you will bleed. Otherwise, you get away with barely a scratch.
Half of the world has a twin.
Gaimeguy:
Big monsters with the name of Bahamut are always very powerful, and Cid is a common name.
Also, star pieces and star rods hold great powers within them.
Tails the Fox (Hobbes):
I learned that most people only have one good thing to say.
Fenrir:
Regardless of the number of medicines and herbs you carry or of the cure spells you know, you can do nothing to treat or cure other people.
Items acquired by individuals elsewhere are instantly yours to do with as you see fit, so long as that individual joins your quest at one point in time.
Only characters with names have access to fine clothing retailers. All others must dress in uniform.
Regardless of the number of people in your party or the number of beds in an inn, you should all sleep in the same bed in order to receive the minimal rate.
Every article of clothing carried by a store looks identical to that which you are already wearing.
The Emperor is evil.
Those who fear the darkness can rest easy, for night does not fall.
Flying Omelette: Actually, night only falls when you go to sleep at an inn. (And it only lasts about 5 seconds.)
If one is rendered unconscious in battle, that person may continue to move about freely, provided that the enemy is not looking.
When attacked by a monster, you may escape by running in place for eight seconds then taking off, Scooby-Doo-style.
When you need to flee from an enemy, you may feel free to abandon your wounded, because, of course, they can catch up to you once the enemy glances away.
Every book ever published contains three sentences at most.
Monsters can be easily avoided by hopping into a town. There you will not be attacked, and it is safe to leave your doors unlocked and possessions unguarded.
If for some odd reason people do lock their doors, it is entirely unintentional, for they won't care if you open them again.
The most widely accepted form of currency in the world is coins. Use of paper money is discouraged.
Vampyrus:
One diving helmet can fit up to four people. (FF6 reference.)
If you ever need to build an object out of several different parts, all you have to do is find all of those parts and the object will automatically assemble.
All people in Britain walk on a 45 degree angle. (Ultima reference.)
Beating up people and animals earns you lots and lots of cash.
HiRider:
Enemies you killed in a previous room, area, or what ever will return when you re-enter the room.
Each town is usually seperated by an insane walking distance and no teleport spell to help you.
In actuality, Fire spells don't actually burn the suroundings. But if they did, Fire spells would have to be banned from forests.
Loogaroo:
Learning spells is not a matter of memorizing scrolls or
accumulating its
ingredients: they just come to you after a battle.
The entire population of the world amounts to about 30 people.
The world is flat.
You can push people out of your way and nobody will ever think
you're being
rude.
You can carry 99 tents, 99 potions, and 99 Phoenix Downs, but you
cannot
carry 100 potions.
Items in treasure chests, even in someone else's house, are yours
for the
taking.
Scott Oatman  :
Killing hundreds of imps may also make you smarter, more agile, and better able to cast magic. It is not, however, guaranteed to make you any better looking, nor any more popular with the ladies. ;)
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