Quick ProfileI first made my acting debut in The Simpsons back in 1990 in the episode "Principal Charming" (7F15) and ever since, I've appeared in more episodes than I can shake my stick at without falling over, about 2 roughly... I think.
< Producers Note: To check out all of the episodes Hans has starred in, see his profile >
Many people have been confused by the name on my license plate, "Ralph Melish" which was my name before I changed it, for what reason, I still can't recall?
In my time with the show I've had my fair share of fame and fortune. Let's see, there was that time where I found that... no, that wasn't me, Oh and there was that other time when I was arrested for trying to... no, that wasn't me either.
< The Producer: Um, Sir, could you hurry it up a little? We have a deadline to meet. > Oh, I'm sorry. Well there was that time when I made that movie for the Film Festival. "Man Getting Hit by Football" I think it was called, Yes that was it.
Oh, and there was the time I hosted that morning radio show, "Moleman in the morning" on K-JAZZ Radio. Wait a minute, haven't I said this somewhere before..? Ahh yes, I also believe I taught an Adult Education Class on "How to eat an Orange". Yes, my life has been one big...uuh..fun..party?
If you will let me, I will read the poem i wrote for this special occasion.
This is a poem by He Moleman.
HHHM..."I think that I shall never see...My cataracts are blinding me"
What do you think? I wrote it during my stay at Summer School. Y'Know, To this day I'm not sure how I ended up there.
Anyway, Time is money, so they say, and my moneys just run out.
This is He Moleman signing off.
Height: 5'5
Weight: 129lbs
Age: 31??
Why: Because of his drinking problem, which makes him look 101 rather than 31
Place of Residence: Springfield Retirement Home
Previous Jobs:
He had a job transporting Edgar Allen Poe's House
He was a representive of Solar Energy power at the National Energy Convention
He taught a class on how to eat a orange
He transported truck full of Sugar
He was a janitor at the Nuclear Power Plant
He sold Hot dogs
He worked in a jail
He worked at a post office
Appearances in "The Simpsons":
[7F01] Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish
He can be see in the background as Mr. Burns tries to bust a pinata.
[7F15] Principal Charming
Selma voids his drivers license at the DMV.
[7F17] Old Money
He is one of the pallbearers at Bea's funeral.
[8F20] Black Widower
Gets his drivers license approved by Selma at the DMV.
[9F09] Homer's Triple Bypass
He is seen transporting Edgar Allen Poe's house. Homer runs him off of the road shortly thereafter.
[9F11] Selma's Choice
He is at the DMV renewing his license and taking a test.
[9F14] Duffless
He was at the alcoholics support group. He spoke of the evils of alcohol.
[1F04] Treehouse of Horror IV
Drives a AMC Gremlin, which Otto runs off the road with his school bus. His car stops in front of a tree, but his car blows up anyways.
[1F05] Bart's Inner Child
He attended Brad Goodman's "Do What You Feel Like" workshop.
[1F06] Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood
Moe throws He out of the tavern because he didn't use a coaster when he was drinking his beer. Moe threatens He with a knife. He' pulls a huge knife out of his cane, but it's so big he falls down.
[1F07] The Last Temptation of Homer
He was working the solar energy booth at the National Energy Convention. He is knocked out by a fossil fuel
rep. [1F12] Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
He is seen in the group of elderly the complainers at Krusty Burger.
[1F16] Burns's Heir
He was hypnotized into thinking that the Simpsons were his family.
[1F17] Lisa's Rival
He Drove a truck full or sugar that he overturns, spilling his load of sugar.
[1F19] The Boy Who Knew too Much
He was a juror at Freddy Quimby's trial.
[1F20] Secrets of a Successful Marriage He was a student of Lenny's tobacco chewing class. He also taught a class about oranges.
[1F21] Lady Bouvier's Lover
He was a guest of the wedding of Mr. Burns and Mrs. Bouvier.
[1F22] Bart of Darkness
He catches on fire due his thick glasses acting as a magnifying glass under the intense sun.
[2F01] Itchy and Scratchy Land
He is seen at the bird sanctuary when the birds attack. He orders a large seed bell from a phone booth.
[2F04] Bart's Girlfriend
He is seen at church.
[2F05] Lisa on Ice
He falls down the stairs at a hockey game, helps to start a riot later.
[2F14] Homer vs. Patty and Selma
Can be seen at the DMV again when Homer is taking his chauffeur's test.
[2F31] A Star is Burns
He produces a film for the film festival entitled "Man getting hit by football."
[2F32] 'Round Springfield
He hosted "Moleman in the Morning." it was a talk show on a local jazz radio station.
[2F21] The Springfield Connection
He is talking to Rev. Lovejoy before he is executed. (I wonder what he did!)
[2F16] Who Shot Mr. Burns Part One
He can be seen in attendance at a town meeting.
[2F20] Who Shot Mr. Burns Part Two
He is one of the people in the blood thristy mob.
[2F17] Radioactive Man
He Can be seen as the film crew departs.
[3F02] Bart Sells His Soul
He can be seen in attendance at church during the singing of "In the Garden of Eden"
[3F06] Mother Simpson
Supposedly is buried alive in the Springfield cemetary. (This scene was never shown!?)
[3F10] Team Homer
Mr. Burns drills into Moleman's head after mistaking him for the Lucky Charms leprechaun. (All he wanted was a push broom rebristling too!)
[3F18] 22 Short Films About Springfield
He gets locked inside the Kwik-E-Mart when Apu goes out partying for 4 minutes.
[4F06) Bart After Dark
He' is attacking Belle's house with a bow and a flaming arrow.
[3G01] The Springfield Files
Dr. Hibbert leaves him in the x-ray machine
[4F08] The Twisted World of Marge Simpson
Gangsters trash his hot dog stand and they even kick one hot dog at He!
[3G03] Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialacious
He Moleman gets his wallet stolen by Snake under gun point. It's pretty funny because Police Chief Wiggum is sitting on a bench and He is getting his wallet stolen not far behind it!
[4F13] My Sister, My Sitter
He crashes his cadillac into the Plane Hype restaurant.
[4F18] In Marge We Trust
He is one of the many gathered around Marge after church. he is explaining his problems to Marge.
[4F20] The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase
He recites his poem during the Simpsons Smile-Time Variety Hour.
[4F23] The Principal and the Pauper
He was in the group at the end waving good bye to the real Seymour Skinner.
[3G02] Lisa's Sax
He was the driver of the truck that ran over Lisa's Sax.
[5F04] The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilans
He gets thrown in with the rejects at the bachelor auction.
[5F06] Realty Bites
He can be seen at the police auction when Homer buys Snake's Firebird.
[5F07] Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
He is taking away the Simpsons stove as payback for the Christmas money he donated.
[5F23] The Joy of Sect
He asks for books by Robert Ludlum at the "Just Crichton & King Bookstore" He also is engulfed by a blob when Marge is escaping the Movementarians.
[5F10] The Last Temptation of Krusty
He is prompted by Krusty to burn his money at Moe's Brew Ha Ha.
[5F14] Trouble With Trillions
He held a job at the Post office.
[5F16] King of The Hill
He worked at a jail and offers Homer some reading material. Homer knocks him out with one of the books.
[AABF04] Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"
When Homer escapes from the hospital for the second time he runs in the middle of the street where He Moleman puts on the brakes just before he hits him, but one of the cars on top of his truck falls on Homer.
[AABF07] Wild Barts Can't Be Broken
He was kicking around a can with Jasper that contained the Crazy Old Man's pills.
[AABF08] Sunday, Cruddy Sunday
He went to the Super Bowl with Homer, Wally Kogan and many others.
[AABF09] Homer to the Max
He was in the group at the mall laughing at Homer. He also is seen in court when Homer wanted to change his name.
[AABF10] Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"
He was driving his car in front of Marge very slowly according to her. His car was one of the numerous cars she passed.
[AABF16] The Old Man and the 'C' Student
He complained about a edited movie that was shown at the Springfield Retirement Home.
[AABF18] They Saved Lisa's Brain
He was way in the back of the crowd listening to the smart peoples' rules and regulations for the new government.
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