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| Only two
things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure
about the former. Albert Einstein |
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Better to keep your
mouth closed and give the appearance of being stupid, than to open it and
remove all doubt. Mark Twain |
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Moron Antidotes Click the drink picture for the perfect antidote to a day filled with morons.
Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th edition defines a moron as: mo·ron n [irreg. fr. Gk moros foolish, stupid] (1910) 1: a mentally retarded person who has a potential mental age of between 8 and 12 years and is capable of doing routine work under supervision 2: a very stupid person ______________________
One of the long awaited moments of each new year is the
awarding of the Darwin Award. This prestigious award recognizes those
people, who through stupid and inane actions kill themselves, thus
improving society by removing their genes from the gene pool. Winners for:
_______________________ Quotes by non-morons
"Common sense is not so common."
It is only the wisest and the stupidest
that cannot change."
The two most abundant things in the
universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
"Human beings, who are
almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of
others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard
to remain stupid. ____________________ Bushisms:
Quotes by George W. Bush "Security is the essential
roadblock to achieving the road map to peace."
"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And,
you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos.
But we will."
"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here,
even though I wasn't here." _____________________ Notable Moron Quotes
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like
Canada."
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some
of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also
discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what
they are."
"Solutions are not the answer."
"That is the stupid question I ever heard" |
Some people need a little reminder of just how stupid they are. We say, wear your button proudly. Submitted by Teresa CNN, Dec 1, 2003 - 'Foot in mouth' prize for Donald Rumsfeld, renowned for his uncompromising tough talking, received the prize for the most baffling comment by a public figure. "Reports that say something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know," Rumsfeld told a news briefing. "We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know." John Lister, spokesman for the campaign, which strives to have public information delivered in clear, straightforward English, said: "We think we know what he means. But we don't know if we really know." Although Rumsfeld's comments were made at a news briefing in February 2002, they were nominated for this year's award.
Rumsfeld, whose boss, President Bush, is often singled out
by language critics for his sometimes unusual use of English, defeated
actor-turned-politician Arnold Schwarzenegger Previous holders of the award include U.S. actress Alicia Silverstone and British Chancellor Gordon Brown. Last year's winner was actor Richard Gere. Here's your button. (more button people ) _____________________________________ Moron of the Day
The van driver stormed out of his vehicle and threw the remains of his fast food breakfast at the limo driver. The driver got out of his limo and the van driver threatened him. The limo drive pulled out his cell phone and announced he was calling the cops. The van driver returned to his vehicle and proceeded to ram the back of the limo. At this point a number of the patrons sitting at an outdoor cafe proceeded to call the police as well. The van driver yelled at the diners to go back to their meals. The van driver then appeared to come back to his senses and waited in his vehicle for the police to arrive. (previous nominees) Nominate a "moron of the day". Is there a moron in your family, your office or did you run into one on the street today? Send your story to ImAMoron_2. _____________________________________ Must be time to add chlorine to the gene pool Submitted by Lesley JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) -- A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said. Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment in the Saturday night incident that wounded Jeffery S. Murr, 24. About 10 people, including two children, had gathered for the ceremony. The man who was being initiated was blindfolded, tied with a noose to a tree and shot with paintball guns as Freeman fired a pistol in the air to provide the sound of real gunfire, Sheriff Fred Phillips said. A bullet struck Murr on the top of the head and exited at the bottom of his skull, authorities said. Freeman fled the ceremony but was arrested near his home, authorities said. He was released on $7,500 bail. _____________________________________ Man's new name: Bubba Bubba Bubba SPRINGFIELD, Illinois (AP) --What's in a name? If you're the former Raymond Allen Gray Jr., only one word -- Bubba. The 39-year-old Springfield native legally changed his name last month to reflect his childhood nickname. His new first name? Bubba. His new middle name? Bubba. One guess what his new last name is. "I kind of like to laugh and joke, and it's something silly to kind of poke fun with," Bubba Bubba Bubba said. The name change won't be hard to get used to because he has long been known as "Bubba" or "Bubby" Gray, he said. "My dad called me Buddy, and it got switched to Bubby. Some of the kids couldn't pronounce Buddy too well, so they said Bubby, and it just stuck," he said. For years he considered changing his name to Bubba Gray. Then a co-worker in the Illinois Secretary of State's office started calling him Bubba Bubba Bubba in jest. Later another co-worker mistakenly thought that was his real name. "That's kind of what started me thinking: Well, let's just have it all the way through -- Bubba Bubba Bubba -- first, middle and last," he said. Bubba's new name became official on November 20 and he's already got a new driver's license and work identification card. He sometimes has been asked what his parents, who are now deceased, would think about the change. "I'm sure my dad probably would be shaking his head," Bubba said. (more morons) _____________________________________ Morons in the news Submitted by Lesley CLARKSTOWN, New York (AP) Mistake No. 1: Impersonating a police officer. Mistake No. 2: Making a traffic stop. Mistake No. 3: Stopping an off-duty state trooper. Shalom Gelbman, 22, of New Square, New York, made all three mistakes, state police said. Gelbman, with a strobe light on his dashboard and his high beams flashing, pulled a car over Wednesday night on the Palisades Interstate Parkway, police said. Inside the car was state Trooper Seamus Lyons, who arrested Gelbman. It was clear to Lyons that Gelbman wasn't a colleague, authorities said, because of his license plate number and the equipment he had in his car. Gelbman was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal impersonation, police said, and was cited for having unauthorized equipment in his car, a dark blue Mercury Grand Marquis with tinted windows. Gelbman was also ticketed for driving without a registration or insurance. He was released on $5,000 bail after being arraigned in Clarkstown Justice Court. (more moron news) _____________________________________ Clogging Our Arteries or Clogging the Courts? It was bound to happen. Sooner of later avaricious class action lawyers had to take on the deep pocketed fast food industry. Well, sooner has finally arrived in the form of one Caesar Barber, 56, a maintenance worker who weighs about 270 pounds and stands 5-foot-10. Barber and his lawyer claim McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's and KFC jeopardized his health with their greasy, salty fare. He filed a class action lawsuit on Wednesday in the New York State Supreme Court in the Bronx on behalf of an unspecified number of other obese and ill New Yorkers who also feast on fast food. |
Warning label found in a Batman Costume
Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly. (more labels) ______________________
The
intelligence of the world remains constant while the population keeps
increasing ______________________ Creative ways to say someone is a moron ▪ A few crumbs short of a crouton. ▪ A few clowns short of a circus. ▪ A few fries short of a Happy Meal. ▪ An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. ▪ The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. ▪ A few feathers short of a whole duck ▪ All foam and no beer. ▪ He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. ▪ An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. ▪ As smart as bait. ▪ Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. ▪ Forgot to pay her brain bill. ▪ Has the intelligence of a Carrot.
______________________ Are you a moron? Click below to take our test. ______________________ As seen on AOL
Forgot your password? Use the box pictured on left to submit your screen name and AOL will e-mail your password to you. MORON ! If I don't know my password, how am I going to log into AOL to check my mail ! ! ! DUH ! ! ! (click above photo to enlarge) ______________________ Morons caught on tape! Seems there is always someone with a video camera to capture gems like these. Please do not link to these videos. If you would like a copy, please download them to your computer. Place the cursor over the link, right click with the mouse, choose "save target as..." and save on your hard drive. |
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