I remember watching my rabbi growing up and thinking, "Wow! I bet he could get people to donate money for anything." My rabbi in Tucson, while raising money for a new Torah, sold everything from the whole scroll, to the individual books, to the eitz chaim, to individual letters. Seeing as our school is not only a graduate institution and a seminary, but also a professional school, I ask you to allow me to give a crack at the same task, perhaps for something not as worthy as a Tory, but hey, we can't all start at the top:

A community benefits by having something physical to support to unite them together. A community benefits by competing against other communities and winning (or more likely, losing badly). With this in mind, my friends, I come to you with a problem. The HUC football team is struggling. We have enough players, but we could use more support, either on the field or in the purse. If you want to play, we would love to have you. If you want to support in other ways, here's how you can. First of all, come to our games at Kraft Field on Thursday nights. Second of all:

HUC FOOTBALL TEAM SPONSORSHIP LEVELS:

Extra Point: 20 shekels (4 US dollars)  receive free seats at every game and a hug
Safety:        30 shekels (6 US dollars)  receive all the above plus a souvenir blade of played on grass
Field Goal:   50 shekels (10 US dollars) receive all the above plus a signed photograph of the team
Touchdown: 100 shekels (20 US dollars) all the above plau a HUC FOOTBALL TEAM t-shirt
Owner:       1800 shekels (360 US dollars) all above plus a totebag and year's subscription to newsletter

All sponsors will get their names announced at all games and have a tree planted in Israel in their honor*

Joel

*Tree planting only valid if donor also makes donation to JNF for said tree planting
Thanks to current sponsors Val and Susan :-)
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Thanks to all of the supporters of the HUC football team. This season we proved that winning is only one part of winning. That is to say, that we had a great time, and even though we never quite came on top on the scoreboard, we always came on top in green. That's right, we were greener than all the other teams in the league. They may have been red or blue or black or even chartreuse, but we were green, and no one can ever take that away!
This doesn't go anywhere because I know nothing about web designing, but you can feel like you're sending a message to the team if you want!