Title: World Without Shrimp
Authors: Rabbit and Kassie (impudent_guttersnipe@hotmail.com & ethros@go.com)

Summary: Xander, alternate universe ala The Wish- enough said.
Distribution: If you have something that wrong with you that you would want this, mail us.
Disclaimer: We own nothing but the semblance of a plot and the actual words here. Mutant Enemy and Joss own the characters we abuse and butcher.

Rating: NC-17

Notes: This is AU . This is a serious departure for the two of us, read it with a sense of humor. We wrote it while giggling. If you want to string us up for this one, um, we had a purpose in mind to writing it, but, uh, we won’t tell about that.

Dedication: To Lar, Sam, Katie, Criss, and Olwen, we worship you all for putting yourselves through the hell that was betaing for us. 

Spoilers: Mid-S5

Improv: ragged--decade--invent--cascade

 

 

 

 

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World Without Shrimp

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Xander sits on his bed amidst of the detritus of his recent life.  Photos, folded napkins, take-out menus with little messages scribbled between the lines, a chicken foot on a string, a homemade, pink valentine, a birthday card.  His head aches from the crying bout he just finished. Eyes feel like sandpaper as he focuses on a snap-shot of Anya with her head thrown back in a full-throated guffaw, her hair catching a stray beam of sunlight from the window, sparkling in gold.  His chest constricts when he can't push the memories of this afternoon out for even thirty seconds.

 

//Off work early and can't wait to get to Anya's to surprise her. Maybe a movie. She wants to see Bridget Jones, and he refused, but thinks he can endure it for her.  Gotta work at things sometimes, he reminds himself. Make this relationship last. Even in the lulls, because that's what adults do. They ride-out the down-swings in the love-o-meter, because one morning he'll wake up, and his chest will be bursting again for her. Yeah, he knows how that goes. 

 

Uses his key in the front door, tries to be quiet since he knows she likes to take naps in the early afternoons to off-set the nightly research sessions and late-night love making.  Rips the tags off the bouquet of flowers he bought and tip-toes into the short hallway that empties into her bedroom. The black and white photo of Paris catches his eye ~you should have seen it before the war, Xander, there hasn't ever been anything like it~ her voice echoing in his ear as he takes in the Eiffel tower. A breathy sigh catches his attention, and he pulls back from his daydream about fighting in the Resistance. Takes three or four more steps towards the cracked door of Anya's bedroom and pushes it open enough to see through the gap.

 

Clutches his fingers around the bouquet so tightly he can feel the stems crushing, a green smell trying to fight for his neglected sense, smell. Sight is occupied by the vision of Anya on her back, neck arched, pushing a man's head between her legs. Sound is overwhelmed by the strangled whispers she's making as she begs him to shift up just a little higher. Copper tang assaults taste when he accidentally bites the inside of his cheek. And touch is ridden by a phantom Anya he can feel under his own lips.//

 

Two hours later, in his own apartment with all of the items he scrounged intending to create a small bonfire in the metal garbage can by his legs, he's just too spent to do it. Can't bring himself to part with the stuff he was so positive in his rage that he never wanted to catch sight of again. Hates himself for not seeing the signs, for having absolutely no concept that this could be happening, and he feels the tear ducts he imagined permanently dry starting to well over. Can't piece together what he did exactly to make this happen. Knows it must have been him somehow, something missing from him, something he didn't do, did do that was wrong. He just has no clue as to what it was, aside from just being a loser. Doesn't want to spend the night alone. Thinks of calling Buffy and commiserating but is afraid she might try to kill Anya. Knows he wouldn't stop her at this point. He's so ashamed that the first person, always the first, who he thinks of helping him through this he hasn't tried to call yet. Ashamed that he was such an idiot. Ashamed that when the time came to choose, he actually considered putting Anya ahead of her. It might have been fleeting, but it was real and burning. Replaced Willow at the top of his hierarchy of love for even one split second, and now he knows that guilt will be worse than the pain at Anya's cheating; one will fade with time and new loves, but the other will remain until he draws his final breath.

 

He stands and walks to the kitchen. Rummages under a week's worth of mail for the portable phone and hits two on the speed dial //another reminder of the priorities, Harris//

 

"Hello?"

 

"Wills...are you busy?"

 

"Xander, what's wrong, you sound like it's major. Are you ok? At the emergency room?"

 

"Why haven't you gotten caller ID? I mean, don't you think it would be of the good, what with all the demons who I'm sure know how to operate a phone, and ..."

 

"Ok, not at the hospital, but babbling, and sounding bad. What happened?"

 

"I can't talk about it like this."

 

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. This is a non-Tara thing, right?"

 

"Pretty much."

 

"Alright, Xander. Stay there."

 

"Nowhere to go."

 

"Uh, ok. Hold on until I get there. Bye." *click *

 

"Love you."

 

 

 

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Lying in bed with all the stuff he'd drug out scattered on the floor and the sheets ripped off the bed so he wouldn't have to smell her perfume or soap, Xander hears the front door open and Willow's light tread coming his way. He tilts his head up when she comes into the room and tries to smile, but knows it's more scary than anything by the stricken look on her face.

 

She crawls from the end of the mattress up to lie next to him, sharing the pillow he's using.

 

"What happened, Xander? Did you get fired or something?" Allows him to wrap his arm around her and draw her into his chest.

 

"I wish. No...today, I got off early, and I was gonna take Anya to the movie, out to dinner, I don't know, something. I went over to her place...and..." His throat constricting, and his face burning,  so embarrassed, he feels like a complete idiot in the way he hasn't since...since Anya came into his life.

 

"It's ok, Xan. Did you guys have a fight? Just nod or shake your head. You don't have to say it out loud. OK?" Small bob from him as she props herself on his chest to watch his movements.

 

"Was it a fight?" Shake. His eyes clamped so tight they wrinkle up like an old man's.

 

"Not a fight...ok, did she hurt herself and you were scared?" Shake. Willow tries to puzzle this out. She was sure it was some knock-down drag-out when Xander called. They'd had several lately, that she knew of, ranging from Anya being livid that Xander refused to let her use a strap-on on him to Xander getting pissed at Anya for telling everyone that they had sex while she was on her period and that he seemed to like it.

 

"Did Anya do something mean to you?" Nod. Willow suppresses the triumphant smirk that flutters onto her mouth at that. She knew it was gonna happen all along.

 

"Was it something you might break-up over?" Another nod. She can't really take pleasure in that, the hurt she feels by proxy too significant.

 

"Was it about sex?" Nod, but she knows it couldn't be anything else between these two.

 

"Did she try to, you know...um, that thing? You know the one..." Xander's eyes pop open, and the pain fades slightly. She grins at him, the special one that's always just for him.  He draws a ragged breath and just lets it all cascade out.

 

"I caught her having sex with someone else." Both hands fly to her face, one covering her mouth, the other on her right cheek.

 

"Xander, oh my god. Did you send the guy to the hospital? Wait, was it a guy? What happened? What did she say? I'm so sorry." She throws herself down on top of him and holds on for dear life. He feels her tears against his neck and her narrow thigh between his, her arms clutching at him.

 

"I didn't do anything. I left." Words spoken into her hair, both his own arms now holding her to him as he breathes in the scent of baby-powder and incense.

 

"I'll kill her, I mean, something, not kill, but maim, yes, maim. One handed Anya, toeless Anya." Doesn't pull back, just mumbles into his throat, and Xander feels vindicated somehow. Here is one person who would always love him, no matter what else lay between them, other loves, other pursuits. Willow would maim for him.

 

"Maybe you should look out for your karma and let me get up the courage to at least talk to her first." Sliding down slightly, Willow raises her head up to look him in the eye.

 

"Xander, I learned a few spells that might help you. They're for easing of heartache. I could make you this tea-like stuff, it tastes like flowers, but you can hold your nose. It helps, I promise. I tried to slip some to Buffy, but she noticed." Her hair sticks to the left side of her face, and her cheeks shine scarlet.

 

"I don't know, Wills. Not that I don't trust you, but pain's part of the package..." Narrowing her eyes, she cuts him off.

 

"I can see through you. Why do you try to lie to me? Are you going to hurt yourself? Tara and I could come and stay with you until you feel better, or you could move in with Buffy and Dawn..."

 

"Oh, what a fun bunch that would be. No, I won't hurt myself. Physically. Not really my style." She lets him pull her back down, and Xander listens to her heartbeat. He falls asleep with her pressed along his body, entwined with him as he pretends the rest of the day never happened, and Willow won't leave to go home to Tara.

 

He wakes to her voice. "Xander, wake up." Slowly, he lifts his lids.

 

"I have to go. Buffy asked me earlier to watch Dawn tonight, but why don't you come? We can play cards and eat too much, you can even get anchovies on the pizza!" Smiling again, attempting to look as chipper as possible as she rolls over and stands up.

 

"No, Wills. I don't think I can deal with the Dawnster tonight. Too much energy, and if I started that unmanly crying hysterically thing, well, my rep would be ruined." He sits and swings his feet over the edge of the bed.

 

"I can't let you be alone! Tara has a night class, she gets out at 10:30. Look, why don't you take a shower, change your clothes, all that, and I'll call her to come by when she's through. You guys can watch tv together or something. Would that be ok?" She's being so earnest, wanting to help so badly, Xander can't brush her off.

 

"Yeah, sure. Tara is good. We can watch wrestling. She likes the Rock." Willow laughs at his lop-sided smile and lifted eyebrow.

 

"Sure she does." He follows her to the door, and she gets in one last full-body hug for good measure.

 

"Don't do anything, you know, crazy before Tara gets here." Over her shoulder as she walks down the hall, but Xander sees the slight smile she draws up.

 

"Right. Nothing crazy." He closes the door behind her and proceeds to get down to something seriously crazy. No intent for it, but like almost everything in Xander's life, events sort of find him, and today is eventful.

 

He walks back into the bedroom and starts collecting the miscellaneous items he'd tossed on the floor earlier. Picks the phone up on the way and hits one on the speed dial before he knows he's doing it. Hangs up after the first ring and does it all again. Gets as much as he can in his arms at once and lugs it back into the living room with the garbage can and the phone pinched between his neck and shoulder.  The physical mementos of his last year and some fade from his vision as his inner voice, Sam Kenison version, whips up the 'This Is Your Life' diatribe.

 

Rejected, trust built up only to be torn down. Life seeming to be going along fine, perfectly in fact, and some cosmic fist slams into your gut and says //Ha ha fuck face, you thought that was happiness? Well it was, but that's not the path for you boy. Here lies your future: a

trailer, a fat, useless gut hanging over a scuffed, leather belt and a nearly empty bottle that you can't remember when you last put down. Nature? Nurture? Don't count those genes out of the race yet son; it took eons for the amoeba to crawl out of the slime. Did you think you were going to do it in a year? Think again. Twenty years of being beaten down not enough for ya? Want another helping? Do you want the rundown of why an incredibly beautiful woman with the sex drive of a horny, teenage boy would want to move on? Why a Harris would never be enough to satisfy her? Look around, and don't forget the mirror while you're searching for answers.//

 

He runs his hands through his hair and pulls, like he'll yank it out in handfuls, but instead slides his hands down over his face, pressing the palms against his eyelids. But he can never really block out the world, no matter how hard he presses.

 

Feels that stinging in his eyes and the throat constricting, getting harder to breathe again, and as always, there's his father's voice //What are you crying about now, you pussy?// Xander knows it's not actually his father's voice, the man hasn't spoken directly to him for what, two years? He speaks through Xander's mom, or the air //I wish some fucking deadbeat moocher kid around here would get a fucking job already.//

 

That's why he never introduced Anya to his father. She'd been suspicious. //Are you embarrassed of me because I'm not as pretty as Cordelia?// No, he'd wanted to spare her, wanted her to be the rung of the evolutionary ladder that pulled him out of this mess, but

she ended up being what planted him more firmly where he was destined to rot.

 

And couldn't she even have the decency to just pack her shit and leave him? No, she had to make him a part of the oldest cliché there is: dumb, blue-collar worker with the heart of gold, comes home to find his girl with someone else's cock filling her. Nice, thanks for that.

 

Starts to feel the rage filling the void that his tears left him with. Rage that Anya with one careless choice could reduce him to the person he was at sixteen. Worse even that that, because at least then he had hope that if he loved enough, tried with all his heart, that he could be more, that the cycle could be broken. Notices the lone, red hair stuck in the weave of his shirt. Willow. Raises his head and squints as he plucks the strand between thumb and index finger. Holds it up and stares at it, lesbians never had this problem did they? Willow would never spend the afternoon on her back beneath the mailman-mailperson? Tara didn't know how lucky she was. He didn't know how lucky he could have been.

 

All those years that Willow and he had been friends. He'd known that there could have been more, didn't acknowledge the possibility that flittered briefly when they were wrestling or sprawled in a tangle of limbs, watching movies on her couch. The possibilities that had scared him at the time because she was Will, his best friend, the only thing that kept him sane in the travesty that was his life after Jesse bit the dust, literally. And now even that was gone.

 

Not that she'd abandoned him, far from it. Willow was loyal to death, and beyond. But now, a part of her belonged to Tara, and she had to divide her time between friends and lovers. She wasn't exclusively for him, like it had been when three unpopular nerds stood against the world. He'd always have a piece of her, but not *all* of her. And *he'd* thrown that away; *he* was the one who had let it go. And see how well that choice had turned out.

 

He'd gotten Anya. That was a pretty consolation. Seemed so much more than pretty, gorgeous and unreal. The unreality giving over to the bliss that here was his * thing*, his prize for the shitty life, the striving to be more.  Now he sees it was as brittle as every other shiny thing he'd ever grasped at. Place filler in Anya's quest to be human.

 

He'd gotten Goddamn-fucking Anya. Snapping back to the here and now, he starts scraping together the pathetic remnants of their life, tossing them in the garbage can so roughly he

scrapes his knuckles against the edge. Not that he cares, he doesn't feel it, doesn't notice the blood as it drips down his fingers, mingled with her writing on the love notes, the silk of her panties, spattered across her smiling face with a spot that makes it look like her neck had

exploded -gruesome vision of Hiroshima-like violence.

 

Like war, that's what it was.

 

Half empty bottle catches his eye. Everclear. And isn't that just what he needs right now? Ever. Clear. //Better than perpetually muddled, forever fucked up.// Unscrews the top and upends it, shaking every drop out of the thin neck, wiggles it rapidly until nothing else falls.

 

The lighter comes out, click, and the flame catches the corner of one pink square of paper, 'I love you' curling as ash quickly replaces loops of script, a fine, bold line of blue ink. That flaming torch is lowered and alcohol soaked memories return to what they once were, ethereal thoughts that can't be felt or held. They're all ideas that can't be proved, just imagined.

 

"I know you'll get what's coming to you, and I don't even care. I just want you to be as far the hell away from me as possible. I want back everything you stole from me: hope, trust, loyalty. The chance to love and not be squashed in its wake."

 

When the flame burns his fingers, he drops the note into the can and sucks the wounded flesh into his mouth, gets a wisp of red hair wrapped around his tongue. He pulls it off and flicks it. It lands in the can, curling against the heat.

 

A soft slither of scale, dry whispery hint of...something that can't quite be defined pricks at his awareness.  He notices the surface of the wall waver and then birth a figure. In the shimmery glow he knows all to well as Hellmouthy *something *. And he can't find the shock in this bizarre scene. Desensitized to the insanity.

 

"You'd think she'd know better, being a former vengeance demon." Blackened lips push the words past a row of broken teeth with a hiss of indignation that hits too close to home. "You know how this ends."

 

 

"I do." Thirty-seven ignored messages on an answering machine, if she just would have picked up once, just one, then maybe it all could have been another way. He never would have gotten this worked up and set everything on fire. Never would have accidentally set this all in motion. Accidentally. Like everything. Always with him.

 

He scrapes his eyes over the beast before him and has to suppress a shudder. This was the true face of what had been taken from him? Flaps of skin hanging because Vengeance has decided to go with the leprosy poster child?  Never saw Anya's demon face, tries to picture the flesh before him imposed on her features, and he just can't bring the image to his mind.

 

Broaching the distance between them, the male incarnation of Vengeance gives him a grin filled with bloody gums and teeth intended for rending rather than chewing. He transfers his necklace to Xander's neck, human-like hands tipped in three inch claws pat his shoulder as they withdraw. "I know the wish. Say the words and I will make it so."

 

That power so close, the ability to rewrite everything and all it takes is a few words, an affirmation of intent. "I wish I'd never met Anya...but no worlds where I'm a vampire. Just something simple, where I at least have the possibility of happiness."

 

"Hmn, possibility."

 

Blue light starts as a pinpoint between Xander's fingers as he holds the bauble at the center of the beaded necklace; spreads outwards until it encompasses everything like a self-destructing nova, and there's nothing left but the light that washes over *everything* and feels like it's burning his eyes from the retina out. And he curses himself, should have mentioned a world where he's not blind.

 

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