Zane - Angel Boy

By Ness

In April 1997, my dh and I decided it was time to start a family.  As I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I was put on Clomid to try to get me to ovulate.  By September 1997 I was taking 200mg of Clomid and still not ovulating so I had a laparoscopy and dye test to see what was happening.  Well, my tubes were clear and I had cysts on both ovaries, which my gyn/ob punctured and drained.  I started Clomid again and finally I was ovulating.  Over the next few months we continued to increase the Clomid dose until I was again taking 200mg.

By the beginning of March 1998, my breasts were so tender, it wasn’t normal pre-period tenderness.  At last we had conceived.  LMP 4/2/98, EDD 15/11/98.  What a dream pregnancy, no morning sickness just a little more tired.  We had our first scan at 8 weeks and relief for all, only 1 baby (and after all that Clomid - LOL).   

I had the usual blood tests at 15 weeks and all okay.  We had our level II scan at 18 weeks, my dh and mum were with me and we discovered that we were having a boy and he is perfect.  I now had a bump and everyone could tell I was pregnant. 

A week later and dh is home off work with a sore back.  On Tuesday I got up and got ready for work.  I went to the toilet before leaving and shock horror, there was a spot of blood.  Trying not to panic, as I knew that this does happen, I rang my gyn/ob and he asked me to go in at lunchtime.  My gyn/ob had a look and told us that everything looked okay, my cervix was still closed and that these things happen.

We went home relieved, I decided to take the next day (Wednesday) off work as well and phoned them to let them know.  My dh and I had a sleep that the afternoon and I woke up at about 5.00pm to go to the toilet.  Suddenly I had an urge to push (no choice, I was only thinking that I had a touch of diarrhoea) and whoosh.  Oh my god, my waters broke.  No way this can’t be happening.  I shoved a towel between my legs and woke up my dh and told him we had to go to emergency NOW. 

A ten minute drive to hospital, felt like a lifetime.  Straight to emergency and a nurse took my details, then a young doctor came in with a Doppler and tried to find a heartbeat.  (God, he’s not doing it right).  At last he found it, still beating strong. 

My gyn/ob was off watching a play, but another one was in the hospital and came to see us.  He had a look and said matter of factly, “Yes, your waters have broke I can see them trickling, your cervix is still closed, but you will probably go into labour sometime tonight, there’s nothing that we can do, you are going to lose the baby”.  (Boy, do we hate this gyn/ob). 

They admit me, 2 beds available, 1 in maternity and 1 just outside, no way was I going to maternity, (I wasn’t going to lose this baby).  By this time, my Mum had arrived and she stayed with me while my dh went home to get me some clothes etc, they finally left me about 11.00pm, my dh slept by the phone at home.  I tried to sleep, but kept waiting for labour to start.

7.00am next morning (Wednesday) my gyn/ob came to see me and confirmed my worst fear, I will probably lose the baby, but we just have to wait and see.  He put me on antibiotics to prevent any infection and told me that I must have an incompetent cervix and that my next pregnancy he will put a stitch in at about 13 weeks. 

Later that day, I am moved to a single room.  My dh and mum stay with me all day, as I was confined to bed with only toilet privileges.  Thursday morning and still nothing had happened, my gyn/ob got a Doppler and we listened to my baby boy’s heart beating, fast but okay.  By Friday still nothing had happened, my gyn/ob visited me in the afternoon and told me that if I was still there Monday, he would send me up for a scan to see what was happening. 

We were all staying positive and hoping for the best, even if we could hang on for another month or two as everyday his chances of surviving outside got better.  It was my gyn/ob’s weekend off, so I had another one on call.  (Prayed it wasn’t the one from Tuesday night and it wasn’t). 

Friday night and my dh and I were playing cards and were both in high spirits.  About 7.00pm I got up to go to the toilet and something was sticking out (I instinctively knew it is the umbilical cord).  I called the nurse, who called the midwives, who called the gyn/ob.  Yes it was the cord, it had prolapsed and “I’m sorry there is no pulse, your baby has died”.  Even if there was a heartbeat and they did an emergency C-Section he would not survive, he is only 19 weeks and 4 days.  Again my mum came to the hospital and we were all crying. 

Saturday morning came and still I hadn’t gone into labour.  The gyn/ob came to see me and dh (he has stayed all night).  We are told to go for a walk to the coffee shop and around the wards to try to bring on labour.  By 5.00pm still nothing had happened.  I ask to be induced, I talk to the gyn/ob on the phone and he agreed, he would be there at 6.00pm to start the induction.  I’m asked to time my contractions, how long do they last and how far apart are they?  (How do I know, I don’t know what a contraction is). 

Shift change and a new midwife came and sat with me and told me what to expect, she put her hand on my stomach and felt the contractions with me.  I’ve got heat packs on my lower back and stomach for the pain.  I finally asked for pain relief and got some, but it nearly took me off with the fairies. 

The gyn/ob came back at about 11.30pm and had a look and decided that we could deliver him.  Zane Connor James McGuren was born at 12.03am Sunday, 21st June 1998, feet first.  The cord broke and the placenta wouldn’t come away.  My dh was a mess holding our son.  Reality has hit, we won’t be taking him home today or ever. 

The oxytocin was turned up even more and I was prepared for surgery for a curette to remove the placenta.  The oxytocin makes me feel sick.  I go to surgery and have my curette, my dh stays with our son. 

I was taken back to my room where I proceeded to be sick from the anaesthetic.  My midwife brought Zane in to me in the early hours of Sunday morning for some quiet time.  She gave me the photos she had taken of us, the gold hand and foot prints she had done, a remembrance certificate and a hello card from Zane to us.  She also gave me a lot of information from Sands (a support group).  Zane is 24cm long and weighed just 240 grams, but is perfect in every way.  He is our first born always.  3 days later my breasts are swollen and sore, my milk has come in, nature is so cruel.

NB:  Please now go to the success stories and read my success “A Gift from God”.

You can email me at ness_paul@yahoo.com