(The various members of ALE are standing around, each with an assorted pile of bones in front of them.  The massive drill sergeant stares on in disgust)

Sgt.:  You call those grim wards?!  You couldn't scare a hyperactive fallen with those things!  Look at this, it looks like a mangled pigeon!

Shaidar:  That's because you only gave me pigeon bones to make it

Sgt.:  I didn't say you could talk!  (walks over to Mouno and Washu, who have something concealed under a cloth)
And what the hell is this thing!

Mouno:  It's our new revolution in fear provoking technology!

Washu:  This will revolutionize psychological warfare as we know it.  OK pull the cloth!

(Mouno pulls back the sheet to reveal I tiny spinning android, which immediately commences to spin in place blow a bugle and wave two little red flags, each emblazoned with the words PHEAR ME)

Sgt.:  ...My god

(meanwhile in the paladin training camp)

Paladin one:  Hey someone's raided the communion stores!

(Incubus and X-Slayer run in clearly not drunk)

Incubus:  What kind of vile place is this?!

X-Slayer:  I must have drunk four barrels, I should be puking my guts out, and telling polack jokes!

Brother Jim:  Didn't you know?  We use grape juice instead of wine, we wouldn't want anyone to get all crazy in the head!
(Paladins laugh)

Incubus:  X

X-Slayer:  Yeah?

Incubus:  Why does god hate us?

X-Slayer:  Probably because you started that anti-God campaign

Incubus:  Oh yeah.  Fuck.

(Meanwhile back in the Barbarian camp)

Sgt.:  Taunt is a valuable skill that all barbarians should learn to cultivate.  It will save your life in a pitched battle against long range foes.

Idahochick:  Has anyone here ever put more than one point in Taunt

ALE:  No

Idahochick:  I'd just like to point out that this is probably the only time I'm ever going to get to say anything

Sgt.:  SHUT UP

Idahochick:  See what I mean?

Sgt.:  Let me demonstrate to you pansy's just how to make a proper taunt (rears back) NUUUUUUU!

3000gt:  Excuse me...Nuuu?

Dixie:  That's not a very good taunt.
Pixie:  Yeah, it's not even provacative... just sort of ridiculous

Sgt:  Yeah?  Let's hear you do better.

Washu:  Your momma's so fat her belt size is equator
Shaidar:  Your momma's so cockeyed she can watch a tennis match without moving her head
Tatia:  What does your momma have in common with a beach?  Crabs!
Mouno:  Your momma is like a highway.  Laid all over the nation
Mo'gon:  Mo'gon's had sex with your momma

Sgt.: (enraged)  That's it!!! (the sarge charges ALE who promptly begin fleeing into the camp)

Mouno:  That guy has no sense of humor.

Shaidar:  I vote we find good places to hide

ALE:  Motion carried

(TO BE CONTINUED)