(It is a dark, stormy night outside the ALE pub.  All the members are gathered around drinking various concoctions except for X-Slayer.  Mounopano is trying to make some sort of contraption out of a fishing pole, a piece of gum, a 12 inch black and white t.v. and Landru's legs.  Landru's legless body is laying in the corner scowling)

Landru:  God damn it Mouno if you don't give me back my legs-

Mouno:  Don't worry!  Once my ALE Universal Transmitter is complete we'll be able to download Diablo 2 directly from Mike Huang's computer!

Pixie:  Yeah Landru, we'll have D2 before anyone else!
Dixie:  Surely you don't need legs to play Diablo 2!

Landru:  I don't need legs to kick your asses either!

Incubus:  Why don't you come over here and say that!  HAR HAR!!

(Landru launches a plasma beam which reduces Incubus to a pile of ash)

Pile'o'ash:  God damn it.

Linger:  I'd say he got burned!!

Shaidar:  All right you know our rules Linger!  Drunkenness, insults, cursing, fights, killing, those are fine, but what I won't tolerate are bad puns!

Linger:  Sorry

Ether Dragon:  Boy it sure is a shitty night outside.  Just the kind of night for some sort of sudden horror.

(Suddenly, in horror, X-Slayer bursts into the Pub)

X-Slayer:  My god!  The town is over run with evil little dwarves

Shaidar:  Maybe we can help!  Are they hurting anyone?

X-Slayer: No, not really

Pile'o'Incubus:  Are they maiming anyone?

X-Slayer: No... what happened to you?

Pile'o'Incubus: Long story

Shaidar:  Well if they aren't ransacking the city how do you know they are evil?

X-Slayer:  They told me so, it's really about all they have been doing

Dark Acid:  What city is this anyway?

Pixie:  Why it's the great city of-

(Suddenly the door bursts open and hundreds of tiny green dwarves burst in. All wearing tiny Inferno t-shirts, all with a menacing look in their eyes)

Inferno Dwarf 1:  Bow before us miserable co-oppers!  We are the mighty Inferno!  And we will crush you all in our talons!!!

Shaidar:  What are you talking about?  We don't cooperate.

Ether Dragon:  And I don't see any talons

Inferno Dwarf 2:  SILENCE!!  Fool, you have no concept of what you are dealing with!  We are the great Inferno and we will cleanse the universe of the unworthy scum, such as yourself.

Mouno:  How?  I don't see any knives or guns or anything?  Do you propose to talk us to death?

Inferno Dwarf 3:  You'll pay for that co-opping scum.  Your blood will run in rivers, your guts will spill, your brains will bubble, your-

(Landru launches a Tek-Missle blasting Inferno Dwarf 3 into oblivion)

Inferno Dwarves: (in tandem)  ooooooooooooh!

Landru:  Sorry, it slipped

Inferno Dwarf 1:  You are one of us my friend!  Join with us, and together we shall rid the world of co-opping slime!

Landru:  Do you have beer?

Inferno Dwarf 4:  No...But we have glory and carnage and--

Landru:  That's all I needed thanks, kindly fuck off.

Shaidar:  Look little dudes, why so hostile.  Sit have a drink, take a load off.  Is it not written in Farnam 4:36 "and'ya can't trust someone who doesn't drink jus' a little?"

(Inferno Dwarves mumble amoung themselves)

Inferno Dwarf 5:  Yes, we will take all your beer, all your gold, and all your ears! (Inferno Dwarves laugh maniacally)

(All ALE member heads turn)

Bigun:  What the fuck did you just say?

Inferno Dwarf 5: (with a wavering, small voice)  We'll take your...gold...and ears.

Linger:  Before that mother fucker

Inferno Dwarf 5:  ....your beer

Shaidar:  Thats what I thought you said

(ALE members begin standing up and pulling out various weapons, except of course for Incubus who is still a pile of ash.)

(Two hours later.  The pub is now swathed in blood and gore)

Pixie:  Boy that sure was a messy job.
Dixie:  Yeah, but well worth it to get them to shut up.

Shaidar:  Strange they didn't know how to fight back though....you'd think all they did was talk, with no real experience as to how they were going to kill anyone.

Linger:  You'd think.

Incubus:  (walking in from the back holding a hefty bag)  What the hell are we going to do with all these god damn tiny ears?

Bigun:  Incubus your you again!  How did that happen?

Maunopano:  The patented ALE Incubus reX Reconstitutor of course!

(group laugh)

Ether Dragon (after a long pause)  Seriously though, these ears are disgusting

Dark Acid:  Just throw them out

Bigun:  Better yet give them to me!  I'll make a drink out of them.  (He laughs, the rest just shudder)

Shaidar:  Well I just lost my appetite.  But at least ALE has once again saved the city of-

(AND so, once again we leave ALE to get really, really drunk.  Tune in for next week's episode.  Optimus gets a voice!)