Down With Lady Une

Don't Bank on it, Lady!

by LJ and Stephon

Changed from script layout to story format by Indianna Who

Taking place at a bank in Alabama.

Lady Une was standing in line at the one atm that was available in the bank foyer. One other was being used and a third was out of order.

The customer just in front of her seemed to be having trouble and Une was getting impatient. She stepped up right behind the man, moving in close enough for him to feel her breath on his shoulder.

Instead of making him work faster as Une expected, it had the opposite effect, causing him to get nervous and make more errors.

In the mean time, several people had come in, forming a line behind Une.

Une became irritated by these extra people, and even more miffed at what she saw when she turned around. She had to do something about it.

"YOU THERE...in line wearing the flare leg pants, you're standing too close to Mr. Treize!" she barked at the woman standing right behind her and Treize.

"Excuse me?!" LJ rolled her eyes in disbelief.

Treize spoke up next. "Une...she's not bothering me..."

"I'll bet she isn't!" Une's possessive and jealous nature showed itself. Turning a hateful eye back on LJ, she demanded, "You heard me...now, MOVE IT!!!"

LJ frowned at her. "Move it where?!"

"To the back of the line...that's where!!" Une shook a finger in that direction to drive the point home even further.

LJ rolled her eyes at Une, hardly believing how rude some people could get. "YEAH, RIGHT!!! Whatever..."

Titania, standing behind LJ and Stephon, raised a fist and shook it at Lady Une. "Knock it off you stupid racist!" Titania mistook Une's jealousy for racism since Une had ordered LJ to the back of the line. Une and Treize were white, and LJ and her friend Stephon were black.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Une snapped, glaring back at the short blonde.

But Titania wasn't through with Une yet. "you opened your big mouth and that's enough, now shut up!"

"I'm not a racist, you--you--you--hoochie-mama!" Une retorted.

"I'm not a hoochie, you obnoxious little brat!" Titania fired back indignantly.

Une was insulted. "Who are you calling a little brat? I'm taller than you!"

Titania, wanting to get in the last word, said, "All right then, you're a big brat!"

That did it. Une moved out of the line and past LJ and Stephon to confront Titania face to face. , Staring down at Titania, she ranted, "Oh, shut up, I haven't got time to entertain you!" She hoped her approach would intimidate the smaller woman.

It didn't.

titania sneered. "The only way you could entertain me is by taking a hike!"

Une was getting seriously mad at Titania. "Now listen you little jerk, I'm gonna re-arrange your face if you cross me again!"

Une wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Jesse, a handsome man with black hair walked in, waved at Titania from a short distance away, Tani, what are you up to now?

Titania started,flushing with both embarrassment. "Jesseeeeee! I'm just going to get some money and I'll be right there!"

But Jesse had observed and heard most of what had happened from outside. turning his gaze on Une, he confronted her. "If you don't let her alone, you'll have *me* to deal with."

Une sighed "oh, just take your girlfriend or whatever out of here."

Jesse gave Une a very cold look, and stood waiting for Titania to finish her transaction. That took some time because Titania had to wait for LJ to finish hers.

To Une's great chagrin, LJ had not moved back, and was still standing too close to Une's man, Treize. Une was just itching to pitch herout of the universe, if only she could.

Pointing a finger and glaring at LJ, Une ordered, "I don't think you heard me! I said MOVE IT, YOU STUPID COW!!!"

Stephon was getting angry now, and spoke up. "Uh, oh! Now, you done it!" He slowly moved away.

LJ had been pushed beyond her limit by Une's rude comments. She went into ghetto attack mode and let Une have it. "Oh, hex no, wenCH!!! I know you're not talking to me like that! You better step off if you know what's good for ya!"

Treize smiled approvingly and patted Une's head. "Good girl, Une, you're the only one who really understands me." He was just lapping up the attention since he thought himself such a hot shot*

Une ignored Treize's comment for the moment, and turned to face LJ. "And what are you gonna do about it....mmmmmm?"

"THIS!!!" And without warning, LJ drop kicked Une.

"AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!" Une cried as she fell on her face.

"That'll teach ya to mess with the wrong person, you heifier!" LJ growled.

Une groaned. "Ooooooo...911..."

Titania and Jesse stood applauding.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! That gotta hurt! Yo, man...is that your woman or somethin'?" Stephon asked Treize.

"Yes." he replied. "I can't help it if I'm attractive to every other girl for miles, Une just has to learn to get used to it."

"Oh, please!" said LJ, rolling her eyes in disgust at Treize. "Is that what you think this was about? I just can't stand rude people, and your girlfriend is the rudest idiot I've ever met. If she wants you, she's welcome to have you, because I didn't even notice you until you opened your conceited trap!"

Titania and Jesse laughed and clapped in agreement with LJ.
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