| Jeves' Rant Page |
| I don't know if you care about what I think or have to say about the world that we live in, or my life or anything else that enters into my big blonde head, but here is where I share my thoughts about all that stuff. (wheww! out of breath, I gotta watch those run-ons). I may say things that you don't like or agree with, but too bad, this is my rant, but I apologize all the same if you are offended my my (mostly)unedited thoughts. |
| November 17, 2003 So, I am trying out Christianity. I always have been what I would consider a 'spiritual' person (whatever that means), though somewhat cynical about organized religion. I won't go into why or how I decided to start going to church (big sigh of relief), because it is pointless and has no real bearing on what I have to say. Yesterday I was sitting in church, a United Church and all that I could think was how I felt as though I was mourning God instead of celebrating Him. I mean, I thought that the whole point of church was to celebrate your love for God, to rejoice in His glory, not to sit quiet and reflective about how much of a sinner you are. Yes, part of the idea is to repent your sins, to ask for forgiveness and to ask for the strength to do better, but it just seems to me that if you don't enjoy your experience with and your relationship to God, then how can you enjoy doing His work? The organ has got be the most melancholy instrument on the planet. It doesn't sound rejoiceful at all, it sounds like a funeral, even when the words you are singing are trying to celebrate. I went to a church a few times over the summer in Calgary and it was in a school gym and it was low budget and small, but it was rejoiceful, it was full of life and reverence for that life and the Lord's work and full of love. The church that I go to now, and I only really started to think about this yesterday, really seems to mourn its faith, it is quiet and reverential and mostly boring. The congregation is mostly made up of the elderly and seems to be shrinking day by day. maybe they just don't want excitement in the church, or maybe they like the way things are, but it just seems like such a downer most of the time. I try to find God in my heart, and I can sometimes, but most of the time it is a struggle, and just not very enjoyable to look for Him (or Her). Every Christian or faith oriented book that I have read recently seems to be telling me that a relationship with God should be exciting and should stir up a fire in you to do his work, it is not about following rules to get to Heaven, it is about finding God in your life and sharing that with those around you (which doesn't mean preaching or ranting about Him/Her). This does not mean that it should be easy either, though. To know God and to try to see yourself in His eyes is not an easy thing, nor is it easy to look past the things of this world that distract us from Him and do His work. Faith is not supposed to be easy, but if you don't truly love God in your heart (just ignore the rules) then it is impossible to do His work. ' Anyone can follow rules, but if it doesn't come from the heart, then it is not true. Maybe I lost my point in there, but I think the point of a rant is to just go with it and see what happens. I could sit here all day and keep going, but I don't think you would sit here for three hours to read it all (I'm impressed you made it to here - I don't know if I could), so I'll stop. Jared Eves |