Approximate Infinite Universe is my own personal creation. It is not intended to insult, humiliate, degrade, discriminate, offend, anger, or glamourize any individual.
Note: I have refrained from specifying the sex of A and B and it is up to the reader's discretion what their sex may be. In addition, it is up to the reader to judge the tone used by A and B.
"There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things--things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real."
Monsters and Angels
A: Do angels exist?
B: Of course they do.
A: How do you know?
B: Because I have seen them.
A: You have seen them? Where?
B: Last week, I lost my purse at the wallet and was really frantic. I have over hundred dollars in my purse. Suddenly I saw a light, and then a nice young lady handed me a purse and asked whether I have lost a purse. I nodded excitedly, and thanked her. What a kind angel.
A: But she's human.
B: That girl was kind enough to provide me with a miracle at that moment when I was frantic so she must be an angel.
A: A kind person is a person but not an angel. If that's the case, then the streets are filled with angels because I'm sure there are many kind souls out there.
B: You are right. Now let me be a kind person by treating you to dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town.
A: So kind and generous of you.
B: No problem at all. The purse that the angel handed me yesterday was not mine but I took it anyway. I was really lucky because there was a thousand dollars inside.
"Sometimes--well, let's say all times--things are changing. We are judged as human beings on how we treat our fellow human beings. How do you treat your fellow human beings? At night, just before sleep, as you lay by yourself in the dark, how do you feel about yourself? Are you proud of your behavior? Are you ashamed of your behavior? You know in your heart if you have hurt someone-- you know. If you have hurt someone, don't wait another day before making things right. The world could break apart with sadness in the meantime."
The Key To Happiness
A: Fatty fatty bom bom.
B: Don't call me that. It's mean.
A: You are fat like a hippo and lazy like a pig.
B: Do you get pleasure calling me names?
A: Fatty bom bom is a fatty pig.
B: That does not rhyme.
A: Shut up, you fat twerp.
B: Okay.
A: Fatty bom bom is scared of me.
B: &^%%$
A: What did you say?
B: &*^(&(&(
A: Are you calling me names?
B: ^^%%
A: Fatty fatty bom bom.
B: ^%#$&
A: What did you say?
B: Huh?
A: I want to know, what did you call me?
B: I can't hear you.
A: What did you say?
B: ^&^%&
A: I had enough of you. You are no fun.
B: But I am fun to you. At least my body is because you seem to get satisfaction from insulting my body. Why should you care what I say? My speech isn't funny to you, my thoughts aren't funny to you, it's my body you are having fun with, so why should the fun stop? For once I felt a reason for living because stupid ignorant twerps like you used my physical attributes to conjure happiness for yourselves. I'm your key to happiness.
"Sometimes nature plays tricks on us and we imagine we are something other than what we truly are. Is this a key to life in general? Or the case of the two-headed schizophrenic? Both heads thought the other was following itself. Finally, when one head wasn't looking, the other shot the other right between the eyes, and, of course, killed himself."
Peeping The Artist
A: I peeped at him every night from my window. He's so sexy.
B: who are you talking about?
A: That new guy who moved in to the apartment opposite my block. I can see his bedroom from my own. So cute and sexy.
B: Tell me more. Is he married?
A: Of course not, he's the only occupant in the apartment. And the good thing is, his room doesn't have curtains so I can see everything.
B: Everything? You mean from head to toe?
A: Of course. I think I'm in love.
B: You are so lucky. How old is he?
A: Early twenties, maybe. So young and handsome.
B: I must get to see him.
A: You will. Oh that's him across the street.
B: That one over there? But he's at least in his fifties.
A: No, that one beside him.
B: Oh that one. Hmm he's quite cute but he looks quite familiar.
A: Don't talk rubbish. You find every handsome man familiar.
B: No, he looks really familiar. Ah I know, he is the man who was charged with molesting three of his models.
A: What the hell are you talking about?
B: It's in the papers, silly. I remembered the case because I remarked to my boyfriend that the accused was very handsome. He is a rather famous artist who is more inclined in drawing male nudes. Apparently in several cases, he molested three of his models and he was charged in court.
A: Molesting his male models? That means he's gay?
B: I'm afraid so.
A: Why do my potential prince charmings always turn out gay? Well let's go for a show, I need to relax.
B: Oh I can't. I'm meeting my boyfriend for lunch, then he said he's bringing me to a special place. He said that he wants someone to paint a potrait of the two of us, and who knows, maybe it will be a nude potrait.
"All that we see in this world is based on someone's ideas. Some ideas are destructive, some are constructive. Some ideas can arrive in the form of a dream. I can say it again: some ideas arrive in the form of a dream."
The Surprise
A: It has been a while since you called me.
B: I was busy.
A: How busy can you be? You mean you can't even allocate five minutes everyday to call me?
B: Okay I will do that.
A: But you only do it after I told you so.
B: That's what you want, isn't it?
A: I want a surprise.
B: How surprising can it get? I call you, you answer the phone, we talk. That's it.
A: No, I want to have the thrill of waiting for your call everyday.
B: Okay.
A: Why are you always saying okay? I want a surprise, not a single word answer.
B: Ehh I have a surprise for you.
A: Really? What is it? Oh I'm so thrilled.
B: I'm leaving you for another woman.
A: What? You are going to do what? Why are you doing this to me?
B: To surprise you.
"Stars, moons, and planets remind us of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Is there a bigger being walking with all the stars within? Does our thinking affect what goes on outside us, and what goes on inside us? I think it does."
The Saxophone Player
A: I saw a man playing a saxophone on the street today.
B: So what?
A: He's so talented. He was playing "Three Blind Mice".
B: That's so childish.
A: Then what in your opinion is non-childish?
B: How about the theme from the movie "Titanic"?
A: But that song is so yucky.
B: Well at least it's better than "Three Blind Mice".
A: Why do you always have to contradict everything I say?
B: I don't.
A: Yes you do.
B: Okay, if you insist.
A: What kind of an answer is that?
B: A good answer.
"I play my part on my stage. I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. But that answer cannot come before all are ready to hear. So I tell what I can to form the perfect answer."
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